There is a well-established stereotype that for the development of the baby the most important is the mother-child relationship. But, it turns out, the communication of the child with the pope is equally important for the full formation of the personality. So why is the role of the father usually considered secondary? Sociologists conducted curious studies. Seven out of ten believe that the mother and father are equally responsible for raising the child. But in fact, fathers spend, together with their children, on average less than one month a year. But it has long been known that children who grow up without a father are much worse off. Moreover, such children are more likely to commit offenses. But it turns out that not everyone knows how the father should communicate with the child.
Why is the relationship between father and child so important?
Studies prove that children who are brought up together by their father and mother have a number of advantages:
- Less problems in behavior.
- The best results in studies.
- The best state of health, both physical and mental.
- Easier to find common language with peers.
- If the relationship between father and mother is good, then they themselves create strong families.
- They achieve the best success in their professional activities.
As we can see, great importance is attached not only to fatherly upbringing. But also a harmonious relationship between father and mother. Many believe that the more time a father spends with a child, the better. But this is not entirely true. The amount of time is not an indicator of love and care. Much more important is the quality of relations. The father must teach something useful. To be a worthy example for imitation, to communicate with the child not "from under the stick", but by mutual desire.
Subconsciously, the child, becoming an adult, will largely copy the behavior of his parents. Therefore, many parents from problem families are not divorced for the sake of raising children. In fact, children already at an early age notice a falsity in the relationship, if the parents pretend to be happy together. But, despite this, most of them want to live with their mother and father. During the divorce, the child receives the greatest psychological trauma. And no arguments can convince him that it will be better for everyone.
If a divorce is inevitable, you should find the strength to do it in a civilized way. For children, it is very important that parents continue to interact with each other. And in any case, you can not prohibit the communication of the child with one of the parents. In Russia, ex-wives often take revenge on "retired" husbands, forbidding them to meet with children. But in the end they harm not ex-husband, but their beloved children.
Why is it difficult for fathers to communicate with children?
This does not always happen. But only when the father spends little time with his offspring. There is an excuse that it is more difficult for men to cope with their emotions when discussing sensitive issues. It's much easier for them to watch football with teenagers. Play with them in computer games or take a stroll in the park. Therefore, important issues, even for the male part, children have to discuss with the mother. The pope must speak and listen to the children. And do not just be there. It is very important to know how the father should build communication with the child.
The man is the main breadwinner in the family. He has to devote more time to work. And children grow up. And it's often more difficult for a father to find a common language with them. Papa rarely completely responsible for a newborn baby. There is even a foolish belief that in the first years of a child's life, the pope is not needed at all. But it is in infancy that mental contact is established between the baby and those around him. It may happen that the grandmother, who is always nearby, will be more important to the child than the father. Therefore, a man should, from the first days of a baby's life, take an active part in his destiny. Realizing this, especially in the West, many husbands are next to their wives at childbirth.
What can the father do to improve his relationships with children?
- Develop relationships with mom. If the mother feels the love and care of the father, then the mother's happiness is transmitted to the child. And for the full development of the child is extremely important.
- Strain your father with "dirty" work. Nothing that brings father and child together like a wet diaper. The father is unable to breastfeed. But he must feel his responsibility and involvement.
- Give them time. Perhaps the relationship will not settle right away. Children are waiting for proof of love. And it will not be gifts, but sincere attention and fatherly care.
- What's important is not what you say. And what you do. Children no longer perceive words, but deeds. Remember that parents are role models. Daughters will subconsciously look for a person like their dad. And the sons want to be like their fathers. So be careful: they can copy those traits that you hate in yourself.
- Talk to your companion. First of all, you need to understand your relationship. For example, for a man the feeling of jealousy is a natural phenomenon. It can cause unreasonable conflicts. It is necessary to discuss issues that are of concern. To overcome misunderstanding with children, the father and mother should be one team.
- Listen to your children. When the offspring get older, they need to be given the opportunity to be heard. This will help teenagers to feel their importance. And increase their self-esteem.
- And finally - take care of yourself and your children.