Scientists believe that the lie of preschoolers, which mainly has the form of fantasy, is a significant achievement in the psychological development of the child. The systematic lie of junior schoolchildren should be the first alarm signal for parents - your child has a problem. How to explain to the child that lying is bad and wean him from such a habit in the future.
In the adult world, we use the word lie to define a low moral act. But children's lies are classified somewhat differently. Here, one can distinguish falsehood and lie for the sake of achieving one's own goals.
Preschoolers do not think that telling a lie can be an unworthy act. Their imagination is so rich that they often can not distinguish between true and fictional. Kids like to invent stories that supposedly happened to them or with other family members, identify themselves with the characters of cartoons and computer games, invent virtual friends.
In such situations, lie-fiction is a significant achievement in the psychological development of the child - psychologists say. Fantasy is a sign of the normal development of the speech and imagination of the child. Broadcasting becomes the basis for the formation of the child's logical thinking, and the imagination allows one to abstract from reality and mentally cognize the unknown.
The child's consciousness works in two directions - studying reality and creating an illusion. Inventing his fantastic world, the child makes an attempt to create his own secret, fence himself off from his parents, declares the right to his private life. Do not scold the child for his vigorous imagination. On the contrary, you must help the child make a fantastic world real. Talk to the child about his fantasies, suggest drawing them. Thus, you can spiritually become closer with the child and better understand the inner world of his fantasies.
Imaginary lies have different meanings in the child's mind and behavior. But when prejudices are not harmed at all by preschoolers, on the contrary, they are a sign of a developed children's imagination, then such fictions after six years can negatively affect a child's psychology, especially when he himself can not distinguish truth from lies. When the schoolboy-seven-year-olds continues to fantasize, it is worthwhile to have a serious conversation with him.
The child is born into the world with a desire for justice and good. But further life, unfortunately, makes a change in her behavior. So instinctively laid the struggle for survival and ubiquitous competition, affect the behavior of the baby - the child strives to be better than others and always get what he wants. And the easiest way to such leadership is a lie. And this is only one of the probable causes of childish lies. In general, psychologists distinguish the following main causes of childish lies:
Meet expectations.
Often, children fall under the pressure of hopes that relatives place on them. Thus, parents themselves induce the child to lie, presenting to him inflated demands. The child wants to live up to the expectations of the elders, so she lies about her successes. Parents should really evaluate their child and make demands only within reasonable limits.
Attract attention.
A child can invent false stories in order to be noticed, in order to feel needed. In this case, one should find at least half an hour every day only for the baby, and also in every possible way demonstrate his interest in his life.
Avoid punishment.
The child is lying, because he is afraid that he will be punished. It was parents who, through their punitive measures, raised a child's fear and unwillingness to admit their guilt by telling the truth. Do not openly ask "Who did this?", Thereby provoking the child to lie.It is better to state the fact "I see what you did" and look for ways to repair damage.
Avoid stressful situations.
The child cheats to hide family problems from extraneous ones (not the prosperity of the family, the parents of alcoholics, the absence of the pope).
An attempt to reconcile relatives.
When the child is witnessing repeated adult quarrels, he tries to help them independently, coming up with situations that did not exist.
Fear of failure.
To the child it is a shame for the act, he does not want, that about it someone has learned, therefore thinks out histories. Similar occurs at school when the child does not know the answer to any question and tries to get out.
Imitation.
In general, a child learns to lie from adults who tell lies to others or ask a child to tell someone a lie. For example: "Tell your dad we went for a walk." "When your aunt comes, tell her that she does not."
How do you know if the child is cheating?
Usually children are not yet so skillful actors to skilfully disguise their lies. Therefore, fraud can be traced in the behavior of the child, because there are several common signs:
- Change of facial expression, the appearance of unconscious movements;
- Change in speech tempo, decrease in tone, stutter;
- Conspiracy, an attempt to change the topic of conversation;
- Delay with the answer.
How to overcome the child's lies?
Almost all children from time to time tell a lie. The task of parents is to keep the child from lying, to eradicate this harmful habit in him. Usually the first reaction of parents to a child's lies is punishment, although it does not always give the desired result - the child next time can better disguise his lies. In order to fight the lie, you must first identify its causes, and then act. Try to see the situation through the eyes of the child. Show that we are ready to forgive him.
Respond to a lie in accordance with the age category of the child. When the child is not 6 years old, do not react strictly, you can even laugh it off. But when it comes to the lies of a schoolboy, you should immediately talk with your child about what caused the lie and what consequences it may have. Your task is to give the child to understand that lying is bad and that lies are always exposed.
Your actions for the future.
1. Respond to a lie calmly, avoid excess emotions and physical punishments;
2. Joint solution of the problem: try to find the cause of the lie, together think of another way out of the situation.
3. Praise the child when he speaks the truth, especially when it requires some effort and inner struggle from him.
4. Remember the presumption of innocence. Do not make hasty conclusions when the child's guilt is not established. It can injure the child and in the future he will regard you as an unfair person.
5. Give a good example. The child is very sensitive to other people, especially when they teach him to tell the truth, and sometimes lie. Lie children mainly learn from adults.
Do not be too upset when you caught your child in a lie. This is his first test of the adult world. Try to find out with him the motives and factors that led to the lie. Explain to him that it was possible to get out of this situation without deceiving. When you use the above tips and have a good mental conversation - your child will not lie any more. After all, a child begins to lie out of necessity when he lacks your love, understanding, attention, caring.
The chronic habit of lying in children is called Munchausen's syndrome. But such children will usually fall rarely - 2-3 people per 10 thousand people.