Well, what a shit! And this is for all that I did for her! How many times I sat at her nights, listening to another unhappy love. How many times, after taking time off work, rushed to her, when she had trouble in school. How many times told me how to get out of difficult situations, it would seem, desperate conflicts with peers! It seemed to me that it would be so forever - my daughter would share her pain, and I, as a wise guru, would lead her through life. It did not work out. For the first time in my life my daughter did not consult, she did without my instructions. In the end, pregnancy. And this is in 15 years! I was plagued by guesses - when did this situation get out of hand? - until she found her daughter's diary.
Daughter's secrets
"October 11. Vladik gave me flowers today, it's strange, why would that be? He was generally very affectionate tonight, and sad, says he will be taken to the army this year, and he's still a virgin. He persuades me to try - he does not want to be white "I like Vlad, I like it better with him than with anybody, and that I should take a sip of beer or wine for courage and forward," I read and did not believe my eyes . And this is my daughter! Clever, beautiful, pride of school, and argues, as the last ... And why I did not find this diary before? I read this record two months ago, no pregnancy would be! And for a "sip of beer" would be on the brain!
Vladik ... That's all to blame! They met six months ago. My daughter then fell in with him into the apartment, casually throwing: "Ma, meet me, this is my friend." And she whispered confidentially into my ear: "By the way, he's from a good family, so rejoice."
It was good to be happy: the guy seemed decent. Older than her two years, responsible, serious. I've said many times that I want to enter the faculty of advertising. Actually, he failed to do it, and there was no money for a paid branch from his mother, who worked as an engineer-technologist. She brought up her son alone. After the failure in the university it became clear that Vlad had to go into the army.
"October 27. Ur, I did it, I became a woman!" Vlad called me to his house when my mother was at work and ... "Then the whole page was decorated with some kind of monogram, hearts and flowers. My God, she's such a fool as me! She thinks that she is an adult, but in fact a child ... "To tell the truth, it hurt me, I did not understand what the girls found in this sex, but Vlad liked it." He said that now he loves me even more. "It is not necessary - will yell." Scream! Yes, I would have beaten her for it, and I of this Vlad from a good family at the same time! Then came blank pages. I was about to slam the diary when I found another record a month after the most memorable event: "Vlad was taken into the army, I'm terribly lonely, I wish he would return!" Although I still do not understand if I love him or he I just like it. "It's disgusting in my heart, I feel even worse: I have some kind of weakness and I feel sick." And for some reason, there's no monthly. "Probably, an avitaminosis."
Three days later a new record: "The test showed that I was pregnant!" What kind of fool I was - Vlad, after all, offered to put on a condom, so no, she herself refused! What should I do now ?! "
And through the line one more sentence: "Tomorrow I'll go to surrender to my mother." I'm terribly afraid. " She really "gave up" the next day. Upon learning of the pregnancy, I came in such a rage that I slapped her face. Then another .. I beat her on the cheeks, unable to stop. Everything was confused in my head: anger at Masha, hatred for Vlad, fear for the future of my daughter ... It ended with Masha yelling that she would rather die on the street than she would stay with me, and left the house.
Referral for abortion
Day passed. The daughter did not return. I could not find a place for myself. Where's my girl? Where did she go? What if she did something to herself? And if she was killed? From these thoughts my legs gave way. How could I even let her go? I began ringing her girlfriends. About Masha, no one knew anything. And then the thought struck me: what if Vlada's mother knows where Masha is? They after all closely communicated, and my daughter even promised to visit her, "so that Aunt Marina would not be so sad."
With trembling hands I dialed Vlad's number. The tube was not removed for a long time. Finally, at the other end of the wire, hesitant "Hello" sounded.
- Hello, Marina Alexeevna. This is Victoria, Masha Masha.
"Mom, it's me," the voice in the receiver answered me after a short pause. - Marina Alekseevna at work.
- Masha? What are you doing over there?
- I'm alive. Vlada's mother let me in ...
- Masha! My throat was dry with excitement. I could hardly restrain myself from bursting into tears of happiness that my daughter was alive. - Daughter, we need to talk. Please come home! I am very worried about you...
Mashka clearly hesitated, but after a couple of minutes she muttered:
- Good. I'll come.
An hour later we were already sitting in the kitchen.
- Well, the world? - I handed my daughter a cup of tea.
"The world ..." she answered uncertainly.
- What is your delay?
"I do not remember, three weeks, I think."
"Did you have a doctor?"
- Not yet...
- So what are you waiting for ?! - was wound up, was, I, but immediately I took myself in hand. "Masha, I do not blame you for what happened." But you got pregnant with stupidity, by ignorance. Please do not do anything stupid anymore. - I paused and said firmly: - It is urgent to have an abortion. Otherwise, you'll ruin your whole life. You will still have children ...
Masha was silent. And then again I began to be overwhelmed by emotions:
"You're still thinking!" I command you, do you hear? Do an abortion!
She said softly but firmly:
"I will not let you kill my child." Stop commanding. - My God, what we are adults! And who will raise your child, you thought? By the way, it is not known yet, whether it will be healthy - you are still a child! Do you want to go with a paunch, and then with a stroller, while your classmates will come off in discos and go to college colleges?
The conversation again ended in a scandal. Mashka slammed the door again and left. Fortunately this time I knew where to look for it.
Come back home!
The next day my mother called Vlad and began to convince me that Masha is doing the right thing. Ah, that's where the wind blows! She wants her grandchildren!
- I was shocked when Masha confessed everything. I think that there is also my fault - did not look after Vlad, did not explain. But if it happened, let them give birth. We are still young women, we will help!
- Yes you are crazy! They themselves are still children! How can children give birth and bring up children?
Marina Alexeevna sighed in the tube, agreed with me and ... again began to convince me that it is better to give birth than to interrupt pregnancy. The conversation ended in high tones. I asked Masha:
"Masha, there is not much time left!" When you finally decide, it will be too late. Tomorrow we go to the doctor!
But her daughter stubbornly insisted that it was a sin to have an abortion . And where did she get such convictions ?! The matter ended in the fact that Masha did not come to the phone at all, and Vlad's mother informed me of meager news about her daughter: "Toxicosis ... Hemoglobin is below normal ... Yes, she goes to school, but it's hard to sit in class ... No, the teacher still does not know anything ... "Masha, according to my calculations, was already the fourth month of pregnancy. It was too late to insist on abortion. But I could not reconcile myself with the appearance of this child. To be my 38 years old became a grandmother! I quit my job (or, on the contrary, found an additional one) to pull my grandson ?! Well, I do not! He wants to, let him give birth! The good-natured mother-in-law will help.
And then one day I had a terrible dream, as if I were going to Mashka's room, and she was not there, only she could hear that she was crying. I call her, I search in the closet, under the bed - no. And the crying is getting louder, tearier ... I'm running around the apartment until finally I find her on the balcony. She sits in a corner: small, frightened, cowering from the cold, and holding out to me a swaddled baby. I woke up in a cold sweat. Barely waited in the morning, called:
- Daughter, this is my mother, - I no longer held back sobs. - Come back! Somehow we will bring up ...