For example, you are rude, offended. The first reaction is to flare up in response. Hold on. Count in the mind to ten. Multiply squeeze and unclench your fists, take a deep breath and exhale. Was it easy? The first word could not be kept - close the second, third, do not continue bickering, they will not lead to anything good. Neither children nor husband will appreciate you more because they will see your face distorted by malice. On the contrary, a much greater impression will be made by restraint, dignified silence.
You are offended at someone from home. Do not hold resentment in the head. Switch thoughts to a useful lesson, and then direct all the physical energy. Many know that after a little podirushki any resentment, no matter how it happened.
Were in a bad mood - smile, make charging for fun music, just jump. Any movement, any tension of the muscles distracts from gloomy thoughts, as if airing the head.
Lying in bed and turning off the light, several times repeat to yourself: "I'm all right, I have a wonderful family." Phrase-spell can come up with something else, if only it charges you with optimism. Do the same by waking up.
Of course, these simple exercises are useful and effective when the family is not already split by a crack of insurmountable contradictions. In the best families, people often suffer from skirmishes over trifles - and why? They are not as innocent as they appear, and often lead to quarreling on the edge of the very cracks. To avoid this, you need to know what is happening in our own psyche, when we quarrel or get irritated. Why the simple question: "Did you buy milk?" - suddenly you want to grumble angrily: "Leave me from your milk!"? It is clear that neither the milk nor the person who asked about him has anything to do with it. They are not to blame for the fact that you were naughty in the shop, and you stepped on the foot in the bus! To understand yourself is to take the first step towards the ability to control oneself, self-control, and hence to mutual understanding.
The ability to know oneself is a very valuable quality when communicating. Equally important is the ability to understand another. But it's easy to imagine what would happen if people were constantly listening to themselves and at the same time trying to penetrate into the secrets of the interlocutor's psyche. We would all be in the position of an old man, who was asked where he had a beard for the night. For the first time in his life, thinking about whether to hide a beard under a blanket or to put it on top, the poor old man did not sleep all night. It is impossible, and it is not necessary, talking every minute, thinking about some rules. That is why people have developed a certain standard of behavior, norms of decency, which we, without hesitation, use in dealing with strangers. Seeing a friend, say hello, parting - say goodbye. Having asked in the dining room to hand over the saltcellar, we immediately add: "Please!" Returning back, thankfully nod: "Thank you!" In a word, with foreign people we all know how to behave, showing excellent composure.
And at home? Often, stepping over the threshold, leave politeness with the coat in the hallway! And instead of "Good evening! How glad I am to see you! "The irritated" It's not washed again! "Rushes. Yes, they will wash the dishes and do many good things, if you do not growl at them, but give them a smile and cheerfully command: "Become a support!" I always wonder, noticing inadvertently that husband and wife with strangers are more polite than they are with each other. As if they do not live with each other ...
You can indignantly ask: what about the man, the husband? Is he not obliged to exercise the ability to control himself and help his wife? .. Obliged, of course. But from such a question, usually the disagreements in the family are started. And they end there, where the wife begins to understand that she, the woman, nature itself is intended to become the keeper of the hearth. Do not compete with a man in rudeness and stubbornness, do not be measured with it by force - he is still stronger. Our weapons are tenderness.
And in the end it is not so important to know the psychological subtleties of communication. Be kind to each other, because this person seemed to you the best of all - did he change so much? Be indulgent towards children - in love and affection they will soon achieve the successes that you expect from them.