Toys scattered all over the apartment, crumbs on the couch, candy wrappers on the table, plasticine on the TV ... A familiar picture? How often do we have to repeat the request to the child to clean up, be neat and clean! But for some reason, these requests do not make any impression on the child: he still throws things, runs into the room in boots and eats with dirty hands.
How can?
- Mom and Dad wonder, and continue to fight day after day with the baby, leading him to tears, and himself - to a nervous breakdown. After trying all the ways to get the child to get out, adults ask for advice to their friends, look for ways to deal with the small dirt on the Internet and again fail. But parents often do not suspect that they themselves are the culprits of the child's unwillingness to be neat and clean.
Usually their attempts to get the child cleaned up constitute a premature statement of the fact that the baby can not cope with this duty: "Did you take away the toys?" Or "How shameful to be such a slob?" Of course, such a negative statement of the question can not cause the child consciously needs to meet the wishes of the parents. Rather, a sense of protest or a sense of own imperfection.
A few important tips
1. A child always imitates adults. Therefore, the children who, from infancy, see how mother keeps order, will soon learn to keep clean.
2. It is difficult for a kid to perform daily actions that require serious effort and do not bring joy. Therefore, only the joint implementation of domestic affairs will be a feasible task for the child.
3. Praise is one of the necessary components of teaching children to order . Always celebrate the child's achievements aloud, especially his independent attempts to help you. Do not criticize the child for badly cleaned bed, for the dust left in the corners of the room, or the ground on the windowsill after watering the flowers. Believe me, the child put a lot of effort to please you and fulfill his duties. If you would like the kid to learn to do housework more thoroughly, just show him how to do it, or lose it in one of the ways described above.
4. Never punish a child with household chores, otherwise very soon he will link both of these concepts together, and any task entrusted to him will be perceived as a punishment from which he will shirk by any means.
Since childhood
Already in 8-9 months it is necessary to accustom the child to the fact that each thing has its place. At this age, the kid learned to manipulate objects and he can show how to fold the toys after the game, accompanying their actions with a detailed description.
In a year and a half a child will be happy to help you around the house: he likes to imitate the behavior of his parents. While cleaning, offer the baby to collect their toys, hold on to the vacuum cleaner and wipe their table with a cloth. Playing with a one-year-old child, for example, in preparing a dinner, include in the game the cleaning of dishes: "wash" it and put it back, commenting that it is not good to leave a dirty table after yourself.
In a year and a half the baby can follow the instructions of an adult if it is required to put something in place or to put something away in the drawer of the table. So you not only teach the child the skills of accuracy, but also practice his thinking processes and memory. If the kid has performed the task assigned to him, be sure to praise him. But do not be surprised if you soon find things you need in the most inappropriate places. Do not blame the child for this: most likely, he decided to help you and remove what, in his opinion, is not in place. Just explain to him that the socks should be in the drawer, and the food in the kitchen. To two years, undressing the child, give him a highchair, so that he helps to put his clothes on him. Show how you do it, ask him to fold his socks or pantyhose on his own. Do not forget to repeat that every thing has a house: shoes and a jacket live in the corridor, and a dress or shorts fall asleep only on the stool. Allow the kid to help you around the house, do not push him away if he tries to take a broom out of your hands or wants to wash the dishes with you. Having stumbled a couple of times on the cry of the mother, the baby will stop offering you help. Of course, he is unlikely to well wash a cup or wipe the table, but remember that the skill is being instilled gradually - it will take a little time, and you will see how cleverly he copes with his tasks.
A three-year-old baby can rightfully be considered a mother's assistant. He can be entrusted with performing important household tasks, such as dusting or watering flowers. He will also be proud if you let him arrange shoes in the corridor, wipe the windowsill. In three years, you can teach a child to wash her panties and socks. Be prepared for the fact that you have to re-wash them, but do it when the kid does not see it: it is important for him to know that you trust him "adult" affairs.
In three years the child will be happy to observe the actions of the pope, so connect it to the educational process.
Fantasies
Help your children to order your fantasy: write fairy tales, where the two main characters fall into various alterations. And one of them - an exact copy of your baby, and the second reflects the desired behavior that you want to achieve from the child. Let the second hero come out the winner, let him manage to cope with various obstacles on the way to the coveted goal, and the first, faced with problems, understands the need to change and learn to be more accurate, clean, organized.
Sustain success
After three years the kid already knows what is required of him. But the child himself is unlikely to take an order every evening, clean up things and wash the dishes after eating. Partly because the preschooler is still in poor control of his volitional efforts, in part because of his enthusiasm for the game and evening fatigue.
Therefore, there are various ways to "remind" the child of their responsibilities. The smaller the child, the more important it is for the parent to be with him, help and gently control his actions. Joint cleaning will bring the child joy, a sense of fullness in the family, and will also provide an opportunity to observe the actions of an adult.
The kid can hardly keep in his head a whole set of necessary actions, especially not very interesting and not giving him joy. He can decide that toys, picturesquely arranged throughout the room, look very attractive and create coziness, or consider that it is much more important now to finish playing, to watch a cartoon film, etc. Therefore, be indulgent: do not force the child to get out when he is involved in something, or to demand to dismantle the castle, which he built with great difficulty.
Instead of annoying shouting, hang funny drawings around the house, which will help the child remember the need to hang his things on a stool, put the dishes in the sink, clean the teeth before going to sleep. As a reminder you can use any toy. Take her in your hand, call on her baby's name and ask if he did everything, did not forget something important before going to sleep.
Come up with exciting games and remember, the older the child, the more intricate the game should be. For example, arrange with the child that as soon as the bell rings, it's time to finish the game and clean up the toys, and when he hears the drum roll, it's time to go to the bath.
Children 3-4 years can offer to put all the toys to sleep, but keep in mind that this exercise will take a lot of time. Older children will like to retire to speed if you, for example, count out the seconds out loud, and then record the results in a table.
The kid will like to act temporarily as a parent if you play a disobedient child at this time. Let him give directions, where and what to clean, drive you, get angry. Give him time to find an approach to you, pick up the necessary words to make the "child" obey, reassure him. And when he himself is diluted or refuses to clean up anything with himself, recall how hard it was for him to act as a parent. You'll see, he will definitely meet you.
Older children will happily stick to themselves the advantages of the "Order Card", and at the end of the week they will wait for some surprise for their achievements. It is worth stipulating in advance that these will not be very expensive gifts, and even better, if it will be any joint trips with parents or a dinner with the family.
Also, older children will want to clean up their belongings, if one day they come into the room and do not find the most expensive of them. You can hide them, and the child can leave a coded letter describing where they can find their things. Children over 6 years old highly value personal space, they have their own secrets, so they are unlikely to like that parents take their "treasures", and, most likely, they will find an opportunity to remove them before you decide to use this method again .