The article tells about the pros and cons of different age differences in the family in children. It is useful for parents who are planning to replenish the family.
Basic rules of raising children
Children are the most valuable thing in our life. And naturally, we want the relationship between them to be as warm as possible, more tender and stronger. What is needed for this?
- Undoubtedly, the first condition is proper upbringing. Explain to children how to treat each other, teach them to share toys and sweets, help each other, protect each other if necessary.
- Second, an important condition is the same attitude towards children. Do not single out one person, giving him more attention and parental affection. Other children in this situation will feel deprived, hence jealousy, and a bad relationship with a brother or sister.
- The third is a positive example of communication between parents, grandmothers, grandfathers and other relatives. Children absorb all the information they see or hear, and later reproduce in communication with friends, a brother or a sister, and even their parents. Therefore, if you want a peaceful relationship between your children, first adjust the relationship between adults. And if conflicts do arise, do not decide in the presence of children, let alone raise your voice and use physical strength.
- The fourth condition, and no less important, is the age difference between children. We will discuss this in more detail.
The age difference between children is classified as follows:
- from 0 to 3 years - a small difference;
- from 3 to 6 years - the average difference;
- from 6 and more, respectively, a big difference.
Let's consider concretely the pros and cons of each category.
Little difference
Firstly, it is worth saying that pregnancy and childbirth is a heavy stress period for the female body. Therefore, gynecologists recommend taking a break between pregnancies for at least 2-3 years. In addition, caring for two more dependent children is a very complicated, exhausting process, and a woman should think whether she has enough spiritual and physical strength to raise two children.
As for the relationship between children, there are also their pros and cons of a small age difference. On the one hand, children will have more common interests, hobbies and activities. It will be easier for them to understand each other. They will be interested in the same books, toys, cartoons, etc. But on the other hand, this can cause serious conflicts. Rivalry between children is present in all families, regardless of age differences and upbringing. But the degree of competition is the stronger, the less the age difference in children. Often this problem not only does not go with the growth of children, but, on the contrary, is significantly aggravated. Therefore, if you decide to have a second child with a small difference in age with the first, get ready to constantly decide the issues of belonging to one or another thing to each of your children.
Average difference
This difference can be called optimal in many respects. First, the body of the mother has already rested and is ready for a new pregnancy and the birth of the baby. Secondly, the oldest child is already going to the garden, which means that my mother has more free time to care for the newborn baby. In addition, your first-born has already received a lot of parental attention, primary knowledge and skills, and has become more independent. Fourthly, from about the age of three, children are awakened with interest in babies, they are ready to babysit with them, play, sing lullabies, help their mother in care, and with pleasure walk with the baby and parents for walks. Fifth, jealousy in this age period is much less likely. The older child will already be understanding and somewhat indulgent about his younger brother or sister. But at the same time there are many common interests and hobbies that will allow children to always find a common language.
By the minuses can be attributed to possible problems with the career of my mother. Not all employers are willing to tolerate too long absence of an employee or a very small interval between two maternity leave. Although they are obliged to do this under the labor legislation of the Russian Federation.
A big difference
This difference has its pros and cons. The pluses are:
- the possibility of building a career for my mother;
- the body of the mother has already fully rested and recovered from previous pregnancy, childbirth and lactation;
- the older child is already so adult and independent that in his spare time he can help parents in the care of a child or cleaning the house;
- different areas of interests of children exclude rivalry between them;
- adult children often beg the younger brother and sister from their parents, and in the future they play and play with pleasure.
As for the minuses of a big age difference, the first thing to mention is the spoiled child. Being surrounded by a large number of relatives, the child can show a few more whims than necessary.
In addition, the older child can move away from the parents, realizing that at this particular stage of life, most of the attention and time belongs to the baby. And as a consequence, there may be problems in school, in communicating with peers and relatives. Therefore, parents should always pay attention, care, caress, participation to all of its problems and joys, failures and successes to the elder child.
Also to the minuses can be attributed a possible misunderstanding between the children. The more the difference between them, the more differences they have in their interests and hobbies. So, there are fewer reasons to communicate, play and share time.
Naturally, the classification is conditional, and does not give a 100% guarantee that the relationship between your children will be exactly those that imply this age difference.
The main thing is that your children should be coveted, loved and healthy, and with all the rest you will surely cope!