Divorce can occur for various reasons, but any child is acutely experiencing it. When he realizes that the father and mother will not live together, the child's world will crumble. The hardest of all is the divorce of parents experienced by children under the age of 15 years. Psychologists show that during the first year, both girls and boys demonstrate often restless, anxious and aggressive behavior compared to children from complete families. The most difficult is the divorce of teenagers. Adolescents often become aggressive, uncontrollable, exhibit anxiety, loss of self-control, they suffer from insomnia and neuroses. Many parents do not realize until the end what kind of emotional trauma they inflict on children with their divorce. The main thing in the current situation, to establish a relationship with a teenager after the divorce, do not miss that thread of close communication that connected them. To keep the relationship with the child intact, you need to know a few important things:
Never keep a child from secrecy the upcoming divorce, as this leads to a tremendous stress in the child due to the effect of surprise.
Never need to curse and scandal in the presence of the child, insulting each other, and even more so, if the parents decide to disperse, there is no need to explain the reason to him if he does not want to know her. It is unlikely that a child will be pleased to hear about treason or about the love that has left your marriage life. The child can say that his father moves, but will, often come to you and still will love him just as much.
Never forbid your child to meet with his father, motivating your deed by the fact that the father is bad, that he had to be expelled, because without him it is much better. After all, no matter what, your child continues to love his dad as much as before. The father leaves you, not the daughter or the son. Moreover, without realizing this, you are setting up your child first of all against yourself, as he will think and blame you for his leaving, and consider you to be bad and guilty in everything that happens.
Do not make the child choose between you, telling him that close association with the father is a betrayal for you. For him this is the hardest choice in life. We need to help him cope with this problem, and not add him new ones. It must be remembered that constant communication with the pope is very important for the child, and helps him to be soon rehabilitated.
Do not force him to spy on his father or have secrets from him. Do not ask the child, on his return from the father, what they were talking about, if he wants to - he himself will tell about everything.
Do not bribe the child with such phrases as "You see, dad did not allow you to buy it, but tomorrow I'll go and buy." Children perfectly feel any manipulation. Moreover, as soon as he realizes that he can manipulate you, he will immediately take advantage of this opportunity. And to return your authority back will be quite difficult.
Always be honest with him. To make relations with a teenager close and confidential is also so difficult, and after a divorce - even more difficult. The child is often in touch with experiences because of your divorce, such diseases as neuroses, fatigue, depression, gastritis, eczema and even stuttering may appear. Become a support for him, be interested in his feelings and experiences.
In spite of your experiences, never forget about the child. Communicate with him constantly, go with him to walk to the park, or shopping, do everything so that your child does not feel abandoned. Remember that your task is to establish relations with a teenager after a divorce and help and support him.
Remember that if you all your conscious life will constantly tell your daughter that all male rascals who do not know how to build relationships and truly love, the likelihood that your daughter's personal life will not develop very much. After all, she will be worried and worried that her relationship as well as yours, will end in failure. You need to always tell her: "Your father and I did not work out - you will definitely succeed".
During the divorce the child happens, it is difficult enough to concentrate on the lessons at school. He can become awkward and awkward on the playground, become picky and grouchy towards his friends. In such a situation, you need to talk to him, explain that it's all happening in connection with the divorce, that it's not his fault that something does not work out. Time will pass and everything will surely be adjusted.
In order to establish relations with the child after the divorce, it's enough just to be with him, supporting him, to talk more often about your and his father's love for him, to explain to him that, despite your divorce, he will always remain for you and for the father favorite child.
The hardest of all is the divorce of parents experienced by children under the age of 15 years. Psychologists show that during the first year, both girls and boys demonstrate often restless, anxious and aggressive behavior compared to children from complete families. The most difficult is the divorce of teenagers. Adolescents often become aggressive, uncontrollable, exhibit anxiety, loss of self-control, they suffer from insomnia and neuroses. Many parents do not realize until the end what kind of emotional trauma they inflict on children with their divorce. The main thing in the current situation, to establish a relationship with a teenager after the divorce, do not miss that thread of close communication that connected them. To keep the relationship with the child intact, you need to know a few important things:
Never keep a child from secrecy the upcoming divorce, as this leads to a tremendous stress in the child due to the effect of surprise.
Never need to curse and scandal in the presence of the child, insulting each other, and even more so, if the parents decide to disperse, there is no need to explain the reason to him if he does not want to know her. It is unlikely that a child will be pleased to hear about treason or about the love that has left your marriage life. The child can say that his father moves, but will, often come to you and still will love him just as much.
Never forbid your child to meet with his father, motivating your deed by the fact that the father is bad, that he had to be expelled, because without him it is much better. After all, no matter what, your child continues to love his dad as much as before. The father leaves you, not the daughter or the son. Moreover, without realizing this, you are setting up your child first of all against yourself, as he will think and blame you for his leaving, and consider you to be bad and guilty in everything that happens.
Do not make the child choose between you, telling him that close association with the father is a betrayal for you. For him this is the hardest choice in life. We need to help him cope with this problem, and not add him new ones. It must be remembered that constant communication with the pope is very important for the child, and helps him to be soon rehabilitated.
Do not force him to spy on his father or have secrets from him. Do not ask the child, on his return from the father, what they were talking about, if he wants to - he himself will tell about everything.
Do not bribe the child with such phrases as "You see, dad did not allow you to buy it, but tomorrow I'll go and buy." Children perfectly feel any manipulation. Moreover, as soon as he realizes that he can manipulate you, he will immediately take advantage of this opportunity. And to return your authority back will be quite difficult.
Always be honest with him. To make relations with a teenager close and confidential is also so difficult, and after a divorce - even more difficult. The child is often in touch with experiences because of your divorce, such diseases as neuroses, fatigue, depression, gastritis, eczema and even stuttering may appear. Become a support for him, be interested in his feelings and experiences.
In spite of your experiences, never forget about the child. Communicate with him constantly, go with him to walk to the park, or shopping, do everything so that your child does not feel abandoned. Remember that your task is to establish relations with a teenager after a divorce and help and support him.
Remember that if you all your conscious life will constantly tell your daughter that all male rascals who do not know how to build relationships and truly love, the likelihood that your daughter's personal life will not develop very much. After all, she will be worried and worried that her relationship as well as yours, will end in failure. You need to always tell her: "Your father and I did not work out - you will definitely succeed".
During the divorce the child happens, it is difficult enough to concentrate on the lessons at school. He can become awkward and awkward on the playground, become picky and grouchy towards his friends. In such a situation, you need to talk to him, explain that it's all happening in connection with the divorce, that it's not his fault that something does not work out. Time will pass and everything will surely be adjusted.
In order to establish relations with the child after the divorce, it's enough just to be with him, supporting him, to talk more often about your and his father's love for him, to explain to him that, despite your divorce, he will always remain for you and for the father favorite child.