That is why their bad mood does not cause any sympathy. We tend to call it "just whims" and stop it by any suitable and accessible method. In fact, what for mood disturbances can be, when the whole life consists of feedings, games and walks? Is there any reason for depression or irritation in a one-year-old (two-, three-year old) baby? There is. And, by the way, they are almost the same as ours. How to solve this problem, find out in the article on "The mood of the child, the facial expressions of the child."
Very small
At the age of up to one year, the poor mood of the child is most difficult to identify. After all, it is expressed only in one way - crying. That is, just as hunger, pain, fatigue, inconveniences associated with wet diapers or barbed clothing are expressed. But no. In fact, crying in case of a bad mood will be different from the weeping of other species. It is quieter, lower in tone, monotonous and mournful. If, besides that the child is absolutely healthy, you hear such crying, do not doubt: the kid is not in the spirit. Who dared to spoil the mood of such a crumb? Most likely, it was you - although, of course, did it not specifically and not even consciously. Little children are very sensitive to the mood of the mother, take over all of her sorrows and joys. There is an opinion that even the composition of breast milk varies depending on the mood, and therefore the baby literally eats your emotions. One way or another, we must admit that mothers and children are happy, happy with everything that happens, and they are calm, balanced and cheerful. If the mother is too tired to rejoice, and is constantly experiencing tension, anxiety, then the child can not expect special fun. Such children often cry without any apparent cause, calming down only on their hands. This further spoils the mood of my mother, she even more conveys the negative emotions to the baby - in general, it turns out a vicious circle.
By the way, mothers usually characterize their situation: "Closed circle. I never thought that after the birth of a child everything will be so bad. I'm always at home, waiting for my husband to come back and help me, and he says he's tired and can not relax at home, because there's a mess everywhere. Of course, we quarrel, and the mood from this spoils even more. How can I have fun with the child if I always want to cry? Moreover, I know perfectly well that tomorrow will be the same. I'm too tired, then I will call my husband, we'll reproach each other, I'll be all tearing the child ... "Tearfulness, a sense of loss, the inability to rejoice in what used to be fun - such symptoms are observed in 80% of women after childbirth (their probability increases with age and the number of births) and, of course, also imprint on communication with the baby and even on his future character. Children who have experienced a disorder of their mother's mood in infancy are also anxious, inclined to pessimism, and suffer more difficult life difficulties. Therefore, you need to improve your mood as soon as possible - to yourself and the child. First, add a positive life to your life with it. It's not so difficult, if you remember that life consists of small things. After all, even walking, you can go to places where you like, communicate with those moms who are cheerful and charge you with optimism. Secondly, arrange psychotherapeutic conversations. No, for this you will not need to go anywhere and sign up for an appointment with a specialist. As a therapist will be your own baby. He tells you everything about the mood, thoughts about why it is. You can complain about inattentive people around (watch only expressions), you can share your plans. Babies are very good at listening and are surprisingly intelligent. They also get better, too, when they find out that there is no guilt in your mood, that it just happened. And my mother gets better - the problem, as we know, is significantly reduced. By the way, this is not a new method at all. In many cultures, mothers sang lullabies composed by her for the day (in cultures that have preserved the traditional system, so it is now), about everything that has happened, about what concerns. It was believed that children, thus, feel part of the family and grow more calm.
From one to three years
The child is growing, and his knowledge of the world, his needs, the circle of communication is constantly increasing. On the one hand, his capabilities are quite large: he can walk, talk and feel completely independent, on the other, he is still under constant control and often can not fulfill his desire. In general, the main reason for a bad mood is misunderstanding. Another reason is the loss of something important. And important for the child - this is not the same thing as for an adult. A two-year-old child can safely move the divorce of parents, leaving the family of his father, but it will be hard to survive the loss of his favorite toys. The death of the grandmother will not be perceived as dramatically as, for example, the daily departure of the mother for work. This feature of the psyche allows children to protect themselves from very difficult experiences, forget the traumas of early childhood. Some simple and acceptable explanation of the situation makes it possible for the child to correct his perception of the world. If there remains a person who cares and loves, then everything is in order. And all about small things (what is a trifle for us) a child can cry long and inconsolably. So long that he wears himself out and then falls asleep. To bring children to this state is not worth it, but there is no point in frightening and fencing.
Crying is their way of responding to emotions, throwing out all the negative. As a rule, after such a storm of tears, the awakened child feels much better and is ready to play in a good mood (although parents are already exhausted by this moment). In addition, it is at this age that a child learns different ways of interacting with adults and peers. If he understands that his crying acts on people eerily, he will use this weapon consciously. "Nastya does not cry. She whines, and it's much worse. There is not a single person who would remain indifferent to these mournful, drawn-out sounds. When she whines in the store, even strangers are ready to buy everything she wants. At first she did not do it on purpose, but now she is just being frankly manipulating. There is only one way to deal with this - to leave and not listen. Then she will gradually calm down. " The bad mood of a child of this age is expressed not only by crying. He can lie on the bed without answering offers to play, can look blankly at the window, and if a bad mood is combined with aggression - kick and throw toys. In any case, it is necessary to help. He himself can not cope with his mood for the time being. Show maximum participation, patience and warmth, even if, as they say, he is to blame. At the same time, this should not mean that you have to make concessions, for example, to refuse a visit to your home, since the child without you is so bad. He is getting used to the fact that everything in life is not all and will not always be the way he wants. And to the fact that this is not a reason to be depressed. So give him this lesson. Without changing your plans and without discussing the cause of his negative state anymore, hug and just sit by the side. And often play with children in noisy games, squeeze them and slow them down. And stroking the back is generally one of the best methods of stress prevention.
Three to six
At the age of two and a half - three years the child develops self-consciousness. He talks about himself "I", becomes more shy, bashful (realizes that other people can look at him, discuss and so on). In addition, he has an increasingly pronounced need for communication with peers, and in this area, too, have their own reasons for experiencing. In general, the older the child, the more likely that the cause of a bad mood is outside the family (although the relationship with the parents is still the most significant). At the same time, stealth may appear in behavior: the child is no longer inclined to tell his parents absolutely everything. Sometimes he just does not know if it's possible to tell what happened. So, for example, if a child is attacked by an adult, a friend or a stranger, he may not talk about it. After all, an adult is an authority, if he cries, then, "I deserve". So to find out what is the cause of depression, a bad mood is not so easy.
Teach the child of frankness, to the fact that he can tell absolutely everything to his loved ones. Always support the child in case of trouble, even if the situation is controversial. Yes, you can discuss it, find out who is right, who is to blame, but - later, later. When a child is depressed, depressed, he needs, first of all, in support. By the way, this rule is valid not only for children. We all need such a prejudiced attitude, that we are loved no matter what. This is the basis of happiness in the family. If the child still does not tell, do not interrogate. Especially since emotions at this age are complex, almost the same as in adults, a child really can not understand until the end why he is sad. Talk on abstract topics or on the topic of mood, but without looking for reasons. "And when did you become sad?", "And how sad are you - just sad or so that even ice cream does not feel like it?", "What you need to do so as not to be sad?" - the child can answer such questions. And, accordingly, together with you can find a way to improve your mood. In addition, so-called emotional vaccinations are very helpful. You from time to time tell a story from your childhood (mocked mother, punished in the kindergarten, quarreled with a girlfriend). The story should be detailed in the part where it says about emotions and certainly have a good ending. This will provide a positive outlook on life. Now you know what the mood of a child is, the mimicry of a child.