Sudden death can plague a louse. Suddenly, both an elderly person and a young man, seemingly full of health, can die. Unexpectedly, shockingly. Death does not choose.
From illnesses die for a long time meaningfully. And those who had to endure the rapid death of a loved one, often envy those who managed to say goodbye to their relatives.
In such a situation there is no better option, there is no suitable moment and death never catches on time. But you can talk about it, and sometimes you need it. We raised this topic in order to help those who lost loved ones in different situations to cope.
Sudden death of a native person due to an accident, accident, during the execution of various works, forceful death, is exacerbated by the search of the guilty parties, legal litigation, ambiguity of the situation, the unclearness of the event, the impossibility to believe in what happened. Often you have to see how a person disappears in a matter of seconds and, going into his room, you can see that all things are lying on the ground and it seems that their master is about to open the door and enter alive and healthy.
How to cope with yourself?
... but a miracle does not happen. It will take some time to say goodbye to accept what happened. The reaction can be different: tears, hysterics, silence and isolation ... Do not be shy, but it's important to remember that funeral preparations lay on the orderly and perhaps you will be surprised, but it is the discussion of terrible seemingly ritual moments, purchases and everything else that allows you to relax for a while and not think about what happened.
If the deceased remained unsubstantiated, resentful or were simply not the best relationship, try to forgive and let go of his soul. You may need the help of a psychologist, sometimes it is enough to go to church for confession or simply to put a candle for the peace of the soul.
Long-standing grievances do not disappear in a moment, but you will become much easier when this happens.
Look for support in each other closely. You can feel the presence of the deceased for a long time, therefore it is important for everyone to realize that they can not return a person, but you will certainly keep a memory of him, a bright and clean one.
Help the grieving person if he falls into a trap. There is a state where a person from sudden grief loses the ability to respond to external stimuli. Hold him by the hand, stroke, show that he is not alone, that you are alive, that he must continue to move, breathe. Suggest to fulfill some errand, drink tea, talk about something detached. When a person leaves this state, it is quite possible that hysterics will begin and your help may also be needed.
Stupor and any other psychic reaction to severe stress can arise both from those who did not expect death, and from the one who took care of the sick person for a long time and knew that it would voskresluchitsya.
A long farewell: how to learn to live with the knowledge of the inevitability of the outcome?
When relatives suffer from incurable diseases, cancer for example, then fading takes months, and sometimes even years. It depends on what stage the disease was found, what measures are being taken, how the patient's body is taking care. But there are cases when doctors give a few days, when it seems that it can not be worse, and time lasts an incredibly long time.
And self-discovery begins in itself. The poor begin to wish the death of their loved ones. And they want this of the best intentions, realizing that a person is hurt and death will ease his suffering, when the count goes on the clock and the slightest improvement only gives a few more difficult days, becomes frightened of his own thoughts. It becomes terribly embarrassing. Do not be afraid to share your thoughts with the person you trust. Believe me, waiting for the death of an affectionate person is perhaps the most difficult test in life. And it's okay if you want the best for him. No one is to blame for the fact that sometimes death is the best.
With gradual dying, people have time to finish their business, say goodbye to anyone they would like, but only the person will be heavier than seeing off. The dying seize the opportunity to breathe, then they ask the Lord to take them back sooner.
It is important to accept the inevitability of death, be prepared for the fact that this may not happen as soon as the predictor predicts. And not even as fast as you might seem by external signs. One God knows when this will happen.
Pray for your relatives, do not be afraid of your thoughts. Get ready gradually for the funeral. The native person will let you know that he is ready to discuss them. Choose clothes together, think over the details, who were often called to parting.
Surely, the advice will seem strange, but a sense of humor saves even in similar situations. If you cry 24 hours a day, then it will not be better for anyone. It's not about black humor, but only to relax at least for a moment, otherwise you can go crazy.
As you already understood, there is no better option for death.
But the actions are approximately the same. Do not brave yourself, help yourself or your relatives to cope with the loss with the help of medication.
Drink soothing drops or capsules. Even if it seems to you that you have adequately experienced the loss today, it is not known how the nervous system will behave in the next days. There may be a cramp or complete apathy. Say good-bye to the deceased. While you can still see his body. Of course, do not rush to anyone after the coffin and keep yourself in your hands, but do not overreach.
You still have to go through 9 and 40 day of death and several stages of mourning. You will have to learn to lead your grief. Find different ways to calm him down, but definitely and yield the right to give.
There will be a period of anger at the deceased. But that he left so quickly. Anger at yourself, for not helping, did not see the time. All this is normal. The main thing is to be together with those who were so shocked by the death of their relatives. Do not admit depression to yourself. Follow the meals. If the loss is experienced by someone close to you, be sure to offer food, sweet, to avoid a critical weight loss. You need to unite and remember that life continues. Loss will not be forgotten, but it will become easier, with time, which you have a lot ahead of. And the person who was very dear to you, no matter how quickly he passed away, or you watched his departure, I certainly would not like to watch you from heaven and see incessant perceptions.
Even the tribulation has a time frame. When it passes, you can think of the deceased easily. The pain will abate, and its place will be taken by other emotions, positive, which will appear in the past time. About a year and a half later, the awareness of the event will finally come, and in two or two and a half years there will be a bright memory, pleasant memories. Talk about a person will not cause pain and tears every time. Be sure to talk about your own person. Your friends, children, relatives should know that there was one who had a huge meaning for you. And despite the fact that among the living it is no longer there, you will always remember and know that he has gone to a better world, where he does not hurt.