Fear of childbirth, I'm afraid to give birth

Every future mother, of course, worries about the health of the future baby, her own health, relationships with loved ones, often forgetting that the period of pregnancy is a unique and unique time when she and the baby are a single whole. Fear of childbirth, I'm afraid to give birth - the topic of our rubric today.

Pregnancy is always the expectation of something new. I was childless - I will become a mother, I was the mother of a girl - I will become a mother of a boy (or two girls or a mother heroine) ... Any innovation always gives rise to anxiety: after all, you can never be sure of everything that expects "beyond the face" will be absolutely perfect, and you will cope with it. Most often, fears are concentrated around the same quite natural questions. And many of them have already found answers.


I'm afraid that my baby is developing somehow wrong

You are only pregnant for a couple of weeks, but you are already sensitive to the "alarm signals" from your body. Slightly pulled the stomach - and you scooter fly to look for a reason in the Mum forums. Someone sneezed in a couple of meters - and here you already in an embrace with a thermometer are wondering about the risk of colds, because in the first trimester you need to be especially careful. And all the time you are waiting tensely, when the pusher will cheerfully push you with a pen or stick out a heel - what does he not give signals at all? ..


How to cope?

Do not neglect the necessary calendar of surveys. Many mothers confessed that after the first UZ And their fears for the health of the crumbs subsided somewhat.

Do not focus on the medical aspect of pregnancy. There is nothing wrong with monitoring weight gain, taking tests and adjusting problems in a timely manner. This is how all healthy people act in civilized countries. Remember that pregnancy is not a disease, but a perfectly natural condition for every woman.

If you have any suspicions, keep in mind that the probability of finding a pathology, and its further development is not the same. And any deviations from the norm of development are not yet a diagnosis.


I'm afraid not to endure the baby

In fact, a healthy baby is kept in the womb very tightly, and asking him from there before the time is not so easy! In addition, the vast majority of all miscarriages, according to statistics, happen when a woman and does not suspect about her pregnancy - all that happened is perceived as ordinary menstruation. This is due to the fact that a fertilized egg is most vulnerable when it "travels" through the fallopian tubes and has not yet established itself in the uterus. With increasing pregnancy, this risk is significantly reduced.


How to cope?

The period of increased danger is the first trimester, when the rudiments of all future organs and systems of the baby are formed. At this time, more carefully protect yourself from the effects of the environment - all kinds of viruses, nicotine and alcohol, radiation, prolonged exposure to the sun, vibromassage.

Dates 2o-24 weeks and 28-29 weeks are critical for women with high content of male sex hormones (especially if the "turned out" boy). If you are one of them, according to the results of the tests, you can be prescribed special preparations to maintain the level of female hormones.

Despite all the naturalness of your situation, you still have to reduce your activity. More rest, give up excessive physical exertion, forget for a while about extreme sports, go to fitness for pregnant women.

I'm afraid that I will not endure a birth pain

If in any movie the main character wants to give birth, she will necessarily scream and demand urgent anesthesia. After watching such pictures, and having listened to the stories of a recently-born girlfriend ("If I knew that it would be so, did not agree to it!"), You begin to wait nervously for the beginning of the process. And timidly hope that you can still pull yourself together.


How to cope?

Only 20-30% of the pain that women in labor sometimes feel is really justified by muscle contractions. The rest - the result of purely mental stress, expectation and fear of childbirth, fear of giving birth. Women who own the situation, giving birth consciously, will tell you that the pain was completely tolerable or there was practically none at all. The stronger the panic, the sharper the pain: after all, the adrenaline stress hormone is released into the bloodstream. As a result, muscles tense, vessels, and the nerves of the uterus are squeezed - all this is the main source of pain.


Fact

Paradoxically, it is the increased anxiety of a pregnant woman that helps her prepare for the changes that await her, and tune into motherhood.

Pain in childbirth is radically different from the one you experience in diseases, injuries, bruises. Family pain is not the enemy, but an assistant who brings the long-awaited meeting with the child closer. Set yourself up before the birth, that you will go to meet this pain, and then, strangely enough, it will be much weaker.

Learn several methods of anesthesia in childbirth: massage, breathing techniques, poses. Do not rely on the universality of one of them. Your friend was more likely to bear the ancestral pain while lying on his side, and you, on the contrary, can be relieved if you stand or walk during the period of intense bouts.


Pregnancy sometimes becomes a kind of "litmus test", showing all the fears and complexes that were quietly sleeping in a woman (by the way, in her wife too) all previous life. Fears of childbirth, fear of giving birth, you should not drive inside or brush away from them, as from annoying flies. Share your worries with a doctor, experienced friends. Do not hide your anxious state, it must find a way out - you can throw out negative energy through physical exercises, dances or drawings. If you feel that the victory is more often on their side, be sure to ask for help to perinatal psychologists. They will help to separate the rational grain from emotions and teach how to cope with them. After all, a happy mother is a pledge of both spiritual and physical health of her future crumbs.


I'm afraid that my intimate relationship with my husband will not be the same

Faced in the first weeks of pregnancy with fatigue, drowsiness, nausea, you already do not expect to return to active sexual life in the next five years. And then "your third growing" becomes your growing tummy - finding a comfortable position with every week is becoming more difficult. In this difficult period, the beloved husband often remains overboard, and you involuntarily start to think that this will always be so.


How to cope?

In the first three months of pregnancy, the absence of sexual desire is quite natural. You have a higher content of female sex hormones, which is necessary in order to maintain pregnancy. But the number of male hormones (natural stimulant), on the contrary, decreases. It is not surprising that during this period you do not want anything and nobody. In the third trimester, hormonal storms will end, and your desire for you will return.

Feel desirable, despite the pigment spots, behemoth grace and reaching to the nose of the stomach, is not so easy. In spite of the fact that men consider pregnant women extremely sexual, it is very difficult for you to reconcile yourself with a constantly changing body. What can you advise in this case? Do not be limited to one dimensionless overall. Allow yourself at least one beautiful dress and a set of beautiful underwear, especially since all these wonderful things you can wear and for a while after giving birth.

Even if sexual pleasures do not inspire you at all, there are things that will surely deliver you a lot of pleasant minutes. For example, hugs, kisses, massage or just gentle stroking. All this will allow you not to lose for nine months your sensuality and quickly return to the form immediately after childbirth.


I'm afraid that I will not be able to breast-feed my baby

Breast milk is the most valuable thing that a mother can give to a baby. But suddenly this is exactly what you will not be able to do? Suddenly, you have too small (large) breasts, an "incorrect" nipple, not that heredity, stress ...


How to cope?

According to experts on breastfeeding, your psychological readiness to breastfeed for as long as possible is the main component of the success of breastfeeding. Here everything depends on your attitude. If you are firmly sure that you will have milk, and you will be able to feed the crumb as much as it will need, then it will be so.

О Before the birth, you will certainly read a lot of recommendations and advice on breastfeeding. But one thing is to know the rules of breast massage, pumping or putting the baby to the breast, and the other is to apply them in practice. Be sure to ask a nurse in the hospital or a more experienced neighbor in the ward to show you all these simple wisdom at least once.

If you plan to return to work immediately after birth, or your nipples are "not at all intended for breastfeeding" (they are flat-shaped), special breast pumps, nipple lining and breast lining for milk collection will come to your aid.


I'm afraid that I can not love a baby the way he is, and be a good mom to him

Looking at photos with smiling blond angels, you begin to dream that soon you will have a serene snatch and your own miracle soon ... And then suddenly you remember how a couple of kids cried out in the shop a couple of days ago. And it becomes clear to you that the children you like are not all and not always. Suddenly, and your little one will not be able to make a "proper impression" on you, and you can not treat him with maternal tenderness? ..


How to cope?

Nature has not in vain provided for a period of nine months before the birth of the child. During this time, without forcing events, you have the opportunity to adapt to a new period of your life, even if while you feel absolutely not ready for motherhood. At the same time, you do not need to try to think things through. The future is in the future, and today it is necessary to live today. Be sure, with the birth of a child, a lot in your life will change, including the attitude towards children.

Many women are so absorbed in pregnancy and childbirth that they almost do not notice what it is, the baby they just gave birth to. If you are one of them, do not worry: the speed of mental reactions and their switching is very different for everyone. After a while in the worries about the baby you will take and love it.

Before the birth of a child, decide for yourself: I will not look for a reason for all these "oh, why?" Or "oh, but is this normal?". I'll just look, and rejoice at the way he slaps his eyes, puts out the tongue and, smacking, searches for the chest. And try to compare it with other kids less often.


Fears of benefit!

Since ancient times, pregnant women have tried to protect from possible negative influences, sad experiences, stresses, if possible. But here's the paradox: long-term studies of psychologists show that light and short-term stress in the mother's womb is absolutely necessary. Those whose mothers were carefully guarded against any unrest, did not tolerate childbirth well. Growing up, they lost themselves in the face of the slightest difficulties in life, coped with insults, irritation, negative assessments of their actions by other people, were more passive than peers. They explain this by the fact that when a mother experiences stress, her body "shares" with the baby the physiology of his living and compensation. To learn this outside the mother's womb is much more difficult than inside. So the fears and excitements of the mother are just as necessary for the child as the vaccination against measles. In small quantities, of course!