I always wanted to be a housewife and educate children. I thought that I would have at least two kids. But, alas ...
I explained to my son that I can not have a baby, since I'm not married. And at first this explanation was enough. But then, when the ex-husband in his new family began to "mature" a baby, my son suddenly became worried. It seemed to me that he began to worry about me, how I would react to the fact that the pope will have another child, and I do not. And he regularly talked under various pretexts about how good it would be if we had a brother, and how he would love him, and how he would cuddle with him, then share toys. I did not break off this conversation - it was clear that it was important for my son. For several months we talked extensively about how we could also have a brother or sister. The variant of the adopted child was also discussed. Some of our friends have adoptive children, so this possibility was considered quite natural. I tried to explain to my son all the difficulties and difficulties of this path (although she herself only represented them theoretically). I started to study all kinds of literature and relevant forums on the Internet. And then came the day when I went to the guardianship authorities, and everything turned round.
Will the boy
In "guardianship" immediately had to come down from heaven to earth and think: "What exactly do I want and what can I do?". First, it was necessary to decide whether I wanted to adopt, become a guardian or foster parent. In addition, to understand what age the baby I will look for. The fact that it will be a boy, my son and I have already decided: the older one will be more fun, and it's easier for me, since I already have the experience of raising a boy, and I myself have always grown among boys. In addition, most adoptive parents are looking for girls. In general, I decided that I would choose a boy no younger than 1.5 and not older than 3 years. I could not take a whole crumb - for his sake I would have to quit my job. And I, as the only breadwinner in the family, could not afford this. With more adults, a number of other specific problems arise: the longer a child is in a children's institution, the more problems he accumulates, and the development gap is not the most difficult of them.
Having considered different options, I decided that I would become a guardian. (You can become an adoptive parent only after you have completed special classes for which I did not have time).
Immediately adopt, I did not dare . But, as a guardian, I can do it pretty quickly. It was decided: I'll take custody of the boy 2 years. After 3-4 months, when he is more or less accustomed to the family, he can be taken to a kindergarten, and this will give me an opportunity to work.
In the guardianship agencies, I was given a referral for a medical report. The doctors had to confirm that I could be a guardian. In addition, it was necessary to bypass a number of instances, each with its own requirements and its terms for manufacturing securities. Due to the fact that I combined the collection of documents with work, it took me a whole month to prepare the whole package.
The reaction of doctors and various officials with whom I had to face while collecting all the necessary papers is interesting . Some of them, after learning the reason for receiving the certificate, spoke kind words, wished success, encouraged them. Others - silently, gave out the necessary documents. The third shrugged their shoulders in bewilderment. In one instance, they asked me this directly: "Why do you need this, do not you have enough for your child?" For a middle-aged woman who asked this question, it was immediately apparent that she did not have any children-neither her own, nor her adoptive ... Finally, I was given the consent that I could become a guardian. With this paper, I went to the data bank of the Department of Education, where it was necessary to choose from the photos and diagnoses myself (!) A child - no matter how incredible it sounds. The choice turned out to be, unfortunately, huge ... Many with severe chronic diseases ... But it is also difficult to choose from "healthy" ones. Photo is not enough, he says. Yes, and what to look at - all children are cute and unhappy ... As a result, I selected several kids from the nearest Children's Home. According to the rules, you must first visit one, if not, then the next, and so on.
We do not choose, but us
The first was Rodion. He turned out to be the only one for us. In the House of the Child, I was first shown a baby, and then read out his medical record. When I joined the group, my knees trembled. There are 10 kids between the ages of one and two. Almost all boys. The girls were dismantled. Rodion, sitting, changed his clothes after a walk. The doctor, with whom we came, called, and he joyfully went to her. In her arms, he began to examine me carefully. And having studied, he stretched out his hands to me ... It seems that at that very moment everything was decided. I took him in my arms. And he became our baby.
Overall victory
After this meeting, I went to the Children's Home for another two months. It is necessary to visit the baby until a good contact is established with him. Since I worked, it turned out to visit twice or three times a week, not more. Contact with the baby with us was established quite quickly. What can not be said about the relationship with the staff of the Children's Home ... But this obstacle was overcome. I had a document on my hands confirming that I was Rodion's guardian. I picked it up on a clear June day. It seemed to me that even passers-by rejoice with us. True, before we left for home, we spent about half an hour at the closed gates - waiting for the guard, who had disappeared somewhere. The child's face showed that he could not wait to get out of the gate, he was very worried. Finally, a guard appeared and unlocked the gate. I put the kid on the ground. He - the first time in his life - took a step beyond the threshold of the shelter. When he got out, turned around, looked at the people who saw him off and laughed victoriously. For him it really was a victory. And for me too.