What does stress look like?
Let us consider the physiological aspect of the question. Stress is a natural reaction of the body, which allows us to mobilize all our forces and resources in order to reflect the menacing danger. We are all perfectly familiar with this feeling: "Fight or run." That's how it looks. In a stressful situation, the body releases substances that prepare us for decisive action. Thanks to this reaction, our body gets a wonderful ability to cope with sudden problems. Why, then, this valuable mechanism of self-defense, which nature has endowed us, suddenly turned into a tool of destruction, into a syndrome that exhausts us? It turns out that the answer is simple - that trigger, which includes stress, has been active for too long. A month or two, maybe years, we carry a load of worries, which is beyond our strength; we are afraid to break off relations that exhaust us; we have long held on to a fragile shell called "family", which in fact has long been gone. And so we imperceptibly find ourselves in the impassable marsh of chronic stress. Experts say a lot and write that the constant nervous loads affect our mental and physical health. But you probably already know about this for a long time, so now we want to dwell on a very different aspect.
Look at the problem from the inside
What if the source of eternal stress is inside of us, and not outside? What if all this is due to the fact that our ideas about life are at variance with existing realities? The realization of this presses on us, driving us into a chronic hassle. How can you possibly ask that? Probably, external factors are perceived by the body more seriously than, it seems at first glance. Eternal traffic jams, lack of money, crazy regime, leader-tyrant ... The reasons in fact - an infinite number. The way we treat the events in the world around us and how we react to this depends only on ourselves and. of course, from the inner emotional state. This explains why some people remain calm in situations that others bring to white heat. We constantly think about how it should be, and do not feel the present moment. We live by some imaginary concepts and therefore do not notice that in the present there are also positive aspects. They need to enjoy and just enjoy. Many begin to look at stress differently after getting to know the works of the American scientist Kareem Ali. He believes that "stress is the difference between what is and what I would like to see. Meanwhile, what do you do, and what would you like to do. Meanwhile, what you believe in, and what you have. " We should be responsible for our lives, instead of delegating it to someone else. The easiest way to say that nothing depends on me, and in general, life is darkness and complete injustice. You can constantly scold the government for raising the price of gasoline, complaining about the rainy weather, etc. Live in a state that nothing depends on you, and there is an unchanging source of stress. Let's give an example: you got into a traffic jam, you sit and think about it all the time, but if it did not happen ... ", you are nervous about the fact that you do not have time. And by that you wind yourself even more. But the situation does not change from this. Or, for example, with respect to your partner, you certainly want him to be different - not as it is, but as you want. In other words, external circumstances affect the internal state, and a feeling of helplessness arises because nothing can be changed.
Do not rush to remake the world
And then I wondered where this desire for another reality came from. Where does this need to do all that is planned, in an exact chronology with the schedule? Or it can be said in another way: why do I continue to pull on myself such a load of responsibility that I can not bear; I support relationships that endlessly exhaust; listen to the teachings of my mother, which are far from reality? As Dr. Ali says, the answer to this question is not easy. We often have to deal with things that do not like at all and do not coincide with our views. Why is this happening? If you look into yourself, we will stumble upon the inner critic who lives in us and tries to build everything in his own way. Because of this, and a feeling of constant dissatisfaction with yourself. After all, we have to live forever by the standards of this internal, disturbing voice. For example, I - a person by nature calm and unhurried, but this my personal critic forever drives me, puts an impossible time. But if you look around, in fact, no one requires such deprivations from us, we just aspire to some ideals, which they drew in their imagination. It happens that even when the desired coincides with the actual one, we are still not satisfied with ourselves and our inner voice continues to repeat: "But it was possible to do better!" And the biggest problem is that we take everything to heart. Let's go back to my morning rush, when my second "I" constantly urges: "Do it, do not do it!" I, even knowing that I need to lie early, especially pulling to one o'clock in the morning, and in the morning instead of immediately getting up from the bed, I spite myself lying in it. That's what it all came down to! Realizing that all this is wrong, I'm trying to change the situation. When I feel that everything is boiling with discontent, I take a deep breath and try to reconsider the situation.
Only you manage your life
When you decide to get to work on a car, then, of course, take responsibility for all subsequent events that may occur. That is, you realize that you can get into a traffic jam or (God forbid!) In an accident. And if suddenly this happens, it's only because you wanted to get into the car and go by it, rather than by public transport or by taxi. So, you do not need to curse the circumstances and look for the guilty. Or, for example, you had to finish some work at home, but you decided to watch a good comedy about which you heard a lot of positive feedback. Yes, you were aware that you would have to finish all your work tomorrow or late in the evening, but decided to take the time to watch the film and got a lot of pleasure from it. Therefore, you do not need to scold and reproach yourself. To have what you want and be responsible for your actions is the main key to fighting stress. It depends on us how we will react to a specific situation - as a victim or as an adult person responsible for their actions. And here you need to understand and have the courage to admit to yourself that you can make a mistake. For example, you got into the car to go to work, although because of the traffic jam it would be faster to get on the metro. That is, you made the wrong decision, but it was your choice, and only he can show what is good for you and what is not. Of course, changes in consciousness will not happen like this right away, overnight. But the desire to know oneself will show the right way. The main thing is not to forget that in a calm state it is much easier for you to cope with all complex situations than in a panic attack. There is such a prayer: "Lord, give me the courage to change what can be changed, the patience to accept what can not be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish one from the other." Use it in your life, and stress will be perceived quite differently.