With your outbursts of aggression, your little one spoils life not only for you (try not to buy him the required package of sweets in the store or suggest that he go in the wrong direction to which he is going!), Goes to dad, grandmother and kindergarten teacher. But most of all from your little robber suffer other children ...
Drachun and the bully
He fights for the slightest trifle, forcibly takes away other people's toys, jostles and screams, while in his voice and in his eyes there is a genuine hatred of the one to whom the cry is addressed. His mother is afraid of him on the platform where you are walking, because he does not need to launch a stone into another child - and this can have very serious consequences. Therefore, they try to stay away from him.
You yourself do not come to horror and do not panic only because of the chronic fatigue in which you are in the result of daily struggles, and sometimes even real battles with your villain, contented with the appearance of anger in a tiny baby. You are ashamed of other mothers, and you suffer, regardless of whether you decide at all costs to keep the side of your baby and stand up for his protection from the educational attacks of other adults, or, conversely, join the accusing choir and, together with him, brand the kid. The situation seems hopeless to you. Many mothers in such cases simply wait for their child to grow older and wiser. True, this approach justifies itself only when the aggression of the crumb was actually age-old.
Usually, if you do nothing, then with age it becomes worse and the manifestation of anger in a tiny baby can grow over time into a real storm of emotions. And those methods that you applied to a small aggressor before, for example - to grab under the mouse, take and lock minutes by fifteen in a room locked to the key, so that he calmed down and thought - no longer fit. Why? You just can not raise a grown up youngster, and he will not serve the punishment, and do not wait. So you need to take action now.
Why is that?
Undoubtedly, there are reasons why your kid is hooligan and disgraceful, and using the expression of anger in a tiny baby. And these reasons can be very different, because every child is unique and unique.
Health problems
And it is not necessary that the doctor you need is a neurologist. It can be both ENT, and gastroenterologist. Your baby can behave badly due to constant physical discomfort, which he can not describe, because he is used to it, feels so always. Hidden conflicts in the family. Your kid does not know that Mom and Dad have lost mutual understanding, that in their attitude to each other there is hostility, he is not present when clarifying the relationship. But the child is an indicator, a test of love in the family. Love is what it eats, like a plant with carbon dioxide. Moreover, love alone is not enough for him. A good attitude of all family members to each other is important.
And the manifestation of anger in a tiny baby happens not only when there are conflicts between spouses. For example, your mother or mother-in-law came to help you with the baby. You or your husband have come up with old conflicts with your parents, which stretch from your teenage years or from one of your spouses misunderstanding with the mother of another. All these difficulties lead to aggressive behavior of the baby, which is the basis for further manifestation of anger in a tiny baby.
Jealousy
Your baby is jealous of you to the newborn in the family, perhaps to your new husband, if you got married a second time. Or - to both, if the second child was born in the next marriage. But such things are usually well-marked: the mother herself in most cases herself understands that in the life of her crumbs there have been major changes, and he can with the help of aggression show his concern. With the correct, benevolent behavior of adults, the child soon realizes that there is nothing to worry about. Features of character. It also happens that the kid is quick-tempered, angry, impatient by nature. Temperament like that! Or he often watches a fit of anger in one of the adults in the family (and sees how much anger is effective!). Do not forget that the child is your mirror, it reflects not only all the good things, but also the evil that is in us. And it's easy to copy your behavior, because mom and dad are role models.
Spoiled and insecure
Perhaps your baby does not know who is in charge at home. This is because adults in the family are so guided in everything by the desires, interests, habits of the baby that he has to assume the role of leader. And such a role for the child is not yet possible. Remember what kind of boss yells at his subordinates? Quite true: insecure. The crumb is still too difficult to be your boss, but, having received this "post" in hand, he will now fight for it, for it is honorable.
Strict penalties
You inadequately (or too adequately) severely punish the child. By the principle: I deserve it - stay in the corner, stay without TV, sweets, toys, etc. Perhaps you, fearing that he will fall (stumble on the corner of the table, naretsya means for washing dishes), raise your voice more than you should in situations that seem dangerous to you. Your baby feels insulted all the time. He is sure that he "did nothing of the sort." And suddenly - the displeasure of his parents, screaming, severe punishment, in this case, the aggressive behavior of the crumb is associated with a constant sense of resentment. "Of course, it is necessary to punish the children, but it's better, especially if it's not about something serious, like theft, when the act and consequences of the child must be remembered for life, punished not "with all severity", but slightly less than he deserved, so that in his soul there was a place not for insult, but for remorse conscience. Mom's displeasure. Many mothers, after changing an interesting job for the role of housewife, after a while begin to feel tired and exhausted. They think that they have become stupid, ugly, neglected, that life has stopped forever. Dissatisfaction with one's destiny, irritation, fatigue accumulate and involuntarily spill onto the baby as the reason for this state of affairs.
And if at the same time he is given little time, then, at the same time, he attracts, therefore, the attention of adults.
Hyperopeka
The kid is so overloaded with mother's attention and excessive communication that any unnecessary contacts for him are stress. He always tries to avoid communication by aggressive behavior towards those who want to be friends with him. In addition, the mother's mother, who can not live without her child for a minute, has no opportunity to be alone, and this need is not only for adults, but for babies, he feels at all times under the sights of his mother's care, this creates a nervous tension , bursting outward with anger and aggression. Curiosity. If you react excessively to inadequate actions, the little one can, out of interest and curiosity, seek from you this reaction. It's like a very cheerful reception from a silent movie, in which the actor strikes ten times in a row about the same lamp post.
Gentle age
Or maybe your baby is too small and just can not and does not know much? He does not know how to ask - he takes away, he does not know how to say: "Go back" - he pushes. "He still did not think that others also feel pain and also take offense.
Making Friends Enemies
In order for the baby to become less aggressive, try to understand which of the above reasons can affect the behavior of your crumbs. Then try to fix it. And take advantage of proven tips. Try to reduce the manifestation of anger in a tiny baby, show him how you love and appreciate him.
During conflicts of your baby with other children, you, however strange it may sound, it is better to stay on the side of your baby, and not attack him with the indignant mothers of other children. This does not mean that everything that does your baby is good, because it's yours. But you should not be on the side of prosecutors and, God forbid, also decide that your child is evil, terrible, incorrigible. Do not express your indignation and grief over the behavior of an ugliness. In general, let your reaction be the least emotional.
Do not try to understand the child conflict. Do not find out who first started the fight, who is good, and who is bad. The best way to safely take the baby off the playground. It is useful to take him away whenever he allows himself something like that. You do not need to explain anything. The kid already remembered: behaved ugly - the walk was over.
Help the child understand what he feels, explain by examples that other people are also upset when they are hurt. Teach your child to explain in words what he feels and what he wants. For example, you could not push Sasha, but tell him: "Stand back, please, here my car is going." Do not miss Katya from the hands of the doll, and offer: "Let's play together." Katya does not want to? Then it's better to go. Manifestation of anger in a tiny toddler is sometimes based on mutual understanding with parents. Explain that the anger that a person is capable of is calculated by nature for a real enemy: a bandit who wants to rob him, an invader who attacked his country, but not to the neighbor's boy Kolya, and certainly not to his own mother. Trust your child and try to understand the causes of anger.