But usually everything is fine until the moment when it comes to children. Usually, those who were one child, necessarily want two, or three, because they strongly wanted a brother or sister. A spouse grown up in a large family, and having experienced all the sorrows and joys of such a life, first assessing your opportunities, is more inclined to one child.
How to solve this situation? And how is it better for the family? Let's try to find the answer to this question.
If you look from the point of view of sociology, then the ideal option, to improve the demographic situation in the country, the number of children in the family should be three. In the future, one will replace the father, the other mother, and the third - plus one to the general population. But in practice for three not many are solved, since this business is not only troublesome, but also costly.
To determine the optimal number of children in the family, the first thing to pay attention to is the material aspect, as well as the psychological climate in the family. Leaving this information, it is already possible to more realistically assess the potential of future parents.
And it happens without children.
There are families in which the question of the number of children simply does not arise. Not because everything is decided initially and firmly, but simply because this family does not want to have children, or simply can not do it for a variety of reasons. Now families without children began to meet more often than before. The fault is the state of health, financial position, psychological factor, or increased enthusiasm for a career.
Of course, if it is impossible to conceive for physiological reasons, then there are such options as a surrogate motherhood or adoption. But it happens, and simply unwillingness of a married couple to acquire a child, as a source of unnecessary problems and worries. That's right or not, it's not for us to judge. From the point of view of the child, it is often better not to be born, than to be born only for a tick, that the neighbors do not look askance at their parents.
1
When the family still decides to have children, everything usually starts with one child. Although recently the cases of twins and twins have become more frequent. It often happens that with the advent of the long-awaited child, parents stop there. The reason for this restriction is a real vision of the parents of their financial situation and an assessment of the opportunities for the future. After all, a child is not enough to give birth, it needs to be raised, raised, educated and put on foot. Not the least role is played by the housing issue. If you can still get along with one kid somehow in a one-room apartment, then with two kids it's more problematic. Although many manage to build up and so. As one woman once said, who had only a daughter: "I would love to have a second child, but I could not think of where to put the second crib ..". Comments here are superfluous.
But there are many negative factors of the phenomenon of one child in the family. First, such children from an early age to a fairly mature, constantly are under the close attention and care of their parents. Often such children grow up to be self-reliant and very selfish. In the process of life they are re-educated, but the habit of always being "under the wing", sometimes remains for life. There is also the influence of such a factor as "should". When a child grows up, he starts not to demand, but from him. He should study well, achieve success in sports, enter, go to a good job, marry, give birth to children and all this under the motto "must" and under the pressure of the parents. What is not the best way it affects.
2
When parents decide to take a responsible step, and succumb to the persuasion of the child to buy a brother or sister - a second child appears in the family. Initially, the appearance of the second crumb does not greatly affect the financial situation of the parents. Difficulties begin even when children go to school, enter the institute, but parents usually cope with them. The reason for the appearance of the second child is also a kind of stereotyped thinking that a girl and a boy are born in the family. In these moments, the number of children is no longer greater, but on the basis of gender.
Sometimes parents, in this way, simply "divide" the children, according to whoever whom they wanted more.
From the point of view of the older child, the appearance of a younger child becomes both a test and a relief for him. After all, now the parents' attention is distributed between them, and is not focused on one thing.
Similarly, psychologists believe that two children in the family create more favorable conditions for the psychological and physical development of each child.
3
The third child in the family is a feat. Scientists believe three children are also a very favorable option for the family, of course, if it is allowed by this financial opportunity and housing conditions. Usually parents who have decided on the third child in the future do not mind the appearance of the fourth or fifth. Such replenishment has little effect on the psychological and emotional situation in the family. Such children, more independent and accustomed, help each other. They also cherish and value family ties, and maintain contact throughout life.
Give a clear answer, which affects the number of children in the family, in modern times is quite difficult. All cases are very individual, and with different development options. For someone, happiness is in the fact of the child's presence in the family, for someone in their number. Some can allow a whole kindergarten to be raised, but they take care of one, while others from the last forces pull their favorite "football team" - and each of them is happy in his own way.
The choice is yours, and no one has the right to order you to do, anyway. The main thing is that the children in the family are desirable, loved and long-awaited, and the rest, with the efforts of the parents, will necessarily follow.