Hardly anyone knows the exact answer to the question about the education of a special child. The fact is that there can be no "right" answer. Each of the parents feels at home how to act in this or that situation. But it is very important to understand correctly the state of your child, to track symptoms, to notice improvement in the condition. This requires some knowledge. Communication with other families who find themselves in a similar situation, too, will not be superfluous. After all, it is easier to learn what needs to be understood, an unerring decision. But, still, the main thing is to learn to understand and love the child. This can and should be learned all my life. This article reflects the diary entries of teachers and parents, the revelation of students and the thinking of specialists, including those on which science is not yet able to provide answers. Let's talk on a difficult topic - a special child: the upbringing of children with developmental disabilities.
Indisputable is that the child needs to be helped very early. Now it is already well known that caring for a child begins before his birth. It is important and proper nutrition of the mother, and her positive emotions, and a sense of security and confidence in the future. When marrying, everyone dreams of love. But marriage is also a great responsibility for society and for oneself. In marriage, a third life is born, which largely depends on the understanding of parents responsibility and the ability to properly build their behavior.
... A child was born. He showed a deviation. Of course, we need a qualified consultation of a doctor, a teacher, a meeting with parents who have the same child. It is important not to get lost and not to put the entire measure of responsibility for the health of the baby on others. The help of parents is more weighty, because they observe the child, spend a lot of time with him. This allows you to know and observe what the most successful specialists do not have.
From what has been said, the first advice follows: observe the child, analyze and notice what he likes, and what causes crying, protest, rejection. Be with the child as a whole: feel it and understand. Sometimes parents can tell a doctor and a teacher much more than they tell their parents. We must believe in ourselves, be aware of our duty and follow it sacredly. Sometimes the mother knows more of the doctor, says Y.Korchak in the book "How to Love a Child." Mother brought not a two-month-old child with a complaint that he was crying, often wakes up at night. The doctor examined the child twice, but did not find anything from him. Assumed various diseases: sore throat, stomatitis. And the mother says: "The child has something in his mouth." The doctor examined the baby for the third time and actually found a hemp seed that stuck to the gum. It flew from the canary cage and inflicted pain on the infant when he sucked on his chest. This case confirms that the mother can know more about her child than the specialist if she wants and can listen to the child. But this judgment is not indisputable, as every pedagogical statement is not indisputable.
The second rule seems simple and complex at the same time. The child should be included in the interaction, i.e. get a response from him.
A non-traditional massage is useful, the use of vibrating devices under the supervision of specialists, changing the position of the hands, legs, trunk, stroking, rubbing, massaging individual parts of the body. Parents in their actions are consistent, persevering. They "lead" the child, repeating individual actions repeatedly, without losing hope that once again they will notice small changes.
The question arises as to how to include in the interaction a child who is indifferent, despite the measures taken. You can repeat, copy the child's actions so that he sees them. Others find it easier to notice what you do not have, do not get it, or vice versa, notice what you are successful in. The child caught a glimpse of what was happening - this is victory. He saw the surroundings, although he had not noticed it before. Important examples of correct actions, joint actions, training exercises, gradually becoming more complicated, enriching with various techniques. In some cases, the active actions of adults (parents) when the child is indifferent are needed, so-called stimulation. The influence of polar stimulants is used: cold and warm, salty and sweet, hard and soft, etc., to awaken the sense organs (sensory systems of the child).
Inconsistent relationship with the child disrupts it, disrupts the course of a normal reaction, disables the soul. Hence follows the following everyday advice: be with the child are calm, patient, sustained in any situation. If something does not work out for him, look for the cause primarily in yourself: are there any infringements on your part, misunderstandings, contrast of parental influences and manifestations. Even an adult suffers when his joyful expectations come across sad reality. But it is especially damaging to the child. Life is careless and conflict-free, so it's difficult to be calm and balanced. However, this requires a parental duty.
Parents are often persistent in wanting to know how their child will develop. The correct answer is that everything can change and change for the better. The nervous system of the child is plastic, supple. We do not know all the possibilities of the human body. Hopefully, look for ways to help and wait. Known is not one case, when reality overturned the most authoritative conclusions of specialists who determine "today's day of the child." His tomorrow depends on the correct psychological and pedagogical strategy and parental activities for its implementation. The position "Hope and wait, do nothing" is wrong. Need a position "Try, act, hope and wait, convince yourself first of all: if not you, then who?" The child with psychophysical disorders not only "disease sprouts, but also poods of health."
There is another very delicate question: to leave the child in the family or to transfer it to a childcare institution of the appropriate type? Families are different, and professionals working with children, too. Applied to parents, I want to say: "Do not judge them, but you will not be judged." But here about the child it is possible to tell unequivocally: it should be brought up in a family. The family helps, strengthens, retains power even in cases when violations are recognized as uncorrectable (not subject to correction). Even in the best boarding school the child is ill. He needs a caress, support, a sense of his need, usefulness, security, in the awareness that someone loves him and cares about him. That's why the ideas of integrated learning proved to be attractive. In conditions of joint training with healthy peers, a special child lives in the family and interacts with other children. The family gives those knowledge and methods of activity that can not be gleaned from training sessions. To a child with impairments are the same as to a normal child.
In a state of deep emotional shock, when parents find out about the violations that the child has, when their bright expectations are faced with harsh reality, they begin to rely on the help of a doctor. They think that it is worth to meet a good specialist, and he will be able to change everything. There is a belief in a miracle, in that recovery, a change can occur quickly, without the participation of parents. It is important to realize right away that there can be many years ahead of overcoming violations, correcting them or weakening them, that is, correction. Parents need perseverance, a fortitude of spirit and a huge everyday, inconspicuous labor. Successes can be scanty, but parental intuition helps to notice what others do not see: a child's attentive look, a slight wiggling of the finger, a barely perceptible smile. I described in my publications one case and I return mentally to him constantly.
On the reception to the doctor came a devoted, loving mother with a boy. He was already diagnosed: imbecility, i.e. severe form of mental retardation. In the 70s of the last century, the diagnoses were written in direct text, parents were not spared. The boy was not speaking and not contacting. But at the reception the doctor noticed his gaze. He looked at the subject in question. It became clear that he sees a hen, a seal, a puppy. The doctor immediately rejected the diagnosis and told the child psychiatrist about this, who remarked: "You know better the child's mental disorders, you examine thoroughly, I could be mistaken." Many years of work began. Now that more than 40 years have passed, and the boy has become a respected person, working and earning a decent life, one can rightfully say that he owes everything to his mother. She taught him daily, hourly, following the advice of a specialist, but she invented a lot herself. Gathered and brought to the lessons of leaves of trees, grains of various cereals, cereals and soups. The child saw them, tried them, treated them. He did not need him to speak right away and right away. The main thing was that the child became interested, discerned, experienced pleasure, grieved, felt. Assistance required all the years of study in the secondary school. Communication with the mother turned out to be strong, indissoluble. And now you can observe their caring relationship, the manifestations of motherly and filial love, touching affection. The fact that he was an intelligent, decent, hardworking, caring and decent person - no doubt. And the fact that he owes this to his mother is also an indisputable fact.
A common mistake is despondency, loss of oneself in the family. Usually a woman suffers. A man often does not stand up and leaves the family. A child, no matter what his age, owns the feelings, thoughts, desires of the mother. The world ceases to exist in the diversity of its manifestation. Mother is deformed as a person. I think that not to lose yourself as an individual, as a person is very important, but without help it is difficult. Most likely, here the help of a family with the same problems will be effective. Parents of such families are united by a community of interests, mutual understanding, kinship of souls, arising from the presence of a special, not entirely understandable child. Undoubtedly, those parents who create clubs, associations, other public associations do a good deed. Meetings, meetings are listened to by councils, shared by experience, discussed sore, and also have fun, relax, say compliments, congratulate on birthdays, holidays, learn to notice in everyone the most remarkable. In the family it is also important to create a festive mood, so that pleasant little things brighten a monotonous life.
Raising a special child requires strength of mind, character and perseverance. A child in an atmosphere of permissiveness can become a despot, a tyrant. Parents need to be able to say "impossible", to impose restrictions on unacceptable actions. There should be "reasonable pity", understanding that the introduction of prohibitions, retention, painful contact (of course, it is not about physical punishment) form the child's correct, conscious behavior.
Parents are required to learn. After all, the most capable "teachers" are parents. They notice that the child has reddened his tongue from excessive exercises, that he can reach the upper lip with his tongue, and then to the nose. All the parents said in unison that they like "defectology", it's so interesting and easy. Sometimes experts assume importance and abuse professional terms: "Your child has a deficit development, he is hypodynamic, he has dyslalia (alalia), pronounced prognosis, lateral sigmatism", etc. This, of course, is not justified. A really good doctor will always explain what is achieved by this or that exercise, why certain techniques of work are recommended. Parents, testing the methods of correction (correction) on the child, make sure that they get and carry out the necessary work at home. Without the help of parents, it is difficult to achieve success.
The most important for parents about children with developmental features:
The main thing is to learn to understand and love the child. Education of the child begins with the first birthday and even before his birth. Parents observe the child, analyze his actions. They can know the characteristics and needs of the child better than others.
The child joins in interaction. He performs actions jointly, on the model, on the show, when providing full, partial assistance.
The child is provided with positive emotions. Parents make mistakes: fall into despair, doubt, lose themselves as an individual. It is important to hope, act and wait.