That is why, we now talk about how to behave in life, how to become serious, how to calm down. So, first, let's define the situations in which you can not calm down. Most often, the reluctance to behave calmly is caused by situations when something does not happen as you want, someone behaves wrongly or does not treat you with respect. Of course, this is very unpleasant and you want to, whatever it takes, to defend your place in life. But, after all, not all situations, in fact, such as you think at first glance.
For example, you can not calm down because someone is wrong and can not admit their mistake. First, let's see if this person's behavior is about your life, or you just do not like his opinion. If a person simply wants to behave as he sees fit, then he has every right to do so. And even if his opinion is wrong. Of course, you can try to convince him, but, you should never go on shouting and accusations. This you will not achieve anything. Especially if you talk to a man. Guys need arguments, not hysterics. Learn to restrain yourself. In order to stop screaming, to become calm and serious, you need to come up with your own method. Many advise to count up to ten, but, it helps not everyone. To some, such an account is annoying, and instead of becoming calm, a person begins to behave even more inadequately. Therefore, think of something that calms you. For example, you can represent the sea or remember something from childhood. In fact, every person has memories that soothe and pacify his soul. Determine what exactly acts on you and use it. Of course, at first it will not be easy, but, you are a person, and a person always knew how to manage his emotions when he needed it. Even if it seems to you that this is not so, you are simply looking for excuses. There are many examples where real choleric people, by working with themselves, turned into impenetrable phlegmaticians. People who got acquainted with them after such a "transformation" could not even imagine that this man was once started with half the turnover. In fact, everything is possible, you just need to really want it.
Even if you do not like the behavior and opinion of a person, because it harms him, and you value it, or you yourself, there are still ways to calm down and not react to it. First, learn to be wise and serious. In order to convince a loved one, you do not just need to insist that he is wrong. It is necessary to present facts and arguments. Even if he speaks obvious delirium, do not interrupt or shout. Let him express everything he wants, and then calmly say your opinion. When we interrupt people, they take it as a disrespect and an indication of what is not considered with them. Therefore, even with great zeal try to prove their case. If you listen to them, it seems to them that in something you agree with them. Therefore, after you express your opinion, there are more chances that you will be listened to, because the opponent will feel that there are also his thoughts in your words.
When we are offended and insulted, we always want to shout and defend ourselves in any way. But, we do not understand that only a cold tone and a thoughtful response can have, then influence on the person we desire. Insulting someone, a person as a goal puts the opponent to scream, tears and resentments. If you do not give him this, he becomes angry. Therefore, in order to influence the offender do not react as he wishes. Remain calm and balanced. Show all your appearance that you do not consider his words something important for yourself. And, while he literally "proceeds to the foam," instead of interrupting and calling names, better think up a decent answer and tell him when the offender is silenced, deciding that he took the upper hand.
In order to calmly react to someone else's anger and claims, you need to be able to abstract from this person and not pay attention to his words. They should not cling to your heart and soul. Think for yourself, why spoil your nerves because of those who wish you evil. And even if they do not want to, but just do not behave the way you want, why worry about it and ruin the relationship.
That's why you should not allow something that is unpleasant to your heart. Let someone else's cues digest only the brain and find a decent answer. Of course, initially it is very difficult to do this. But, of course, there is a way out. It is just necessary to engage in a kind of self-training and control yourself. In a situation where you understand that a person is saying something is not right, but you want to shout and resent, immediately pull yourself together. Begin to convince yourself that he has the right to his opinion that you are not affected by the opinion of someone who wishes you evil, that even if a person behaves wrongly, this is his life and he has the right to lead it. In each situation, you can give yourself a different explanation, the main thing is that it acts on you. Do not allow yourself to relax and convince yourself until you feel that you have calmed down. In time, you will notice that you no longer want to shout and speak out on trifles. You will learn to speak only when it really makes sense, and on senseless stimuli you simply will not react. And this does not mean that you will become an insensitive person who does not care about other people's opinions and problems. Simply, you will learn not to turn these problems into your own.