How to deal with provocation, causticism and intrigues at work

Often a woman is confronted with work with rather acute forms of conflict. They are like bad games, and, as a rule, are associated with cunning, have a destructive effect. Psychologists have developed a set of recommendations for women, which can come in handy in an unexpected clash at work with provocations, caustic and intrigues. Provocation
Provocation in the sense of challenge, incitement often arises spontaneously and rashly, on the subtlest border between humor and insult. Provocation serves to bring others out of balance, challenge them; often this means to show oneself. Those who provoke want to show how witty they are. And since they need partners in this game, then there is nothing worse for them than when their statements are wasted.

At work, women are more likely to face provocations than men. As women conquer their place in the business sphere, men become less benevolent - they try, often with the help of such "games", to regain their sovereignty. So, many men find it hard to accept the fact that their boss is a woman. They use, for example, such defensive mechanisms as jokes behind their backs, ambiguous remarks, mock politeness, discrediting comments, such as: "She must have PMS" (if a woman has a bad mood), "She is obsessed with men" ( if the woman went to dinner with the boss), "She, probably, again turns in front of the mirror" (if the woman is not in the workplace).

How to respond to provocations
Consider provocation as a kind of fishing rod that you want to catch, and decide if you want to "swallow the bait" or not. It depends on you whether you enter the game. Without your consent and participation this game for another or another will lose its meaning.

Play if it gives you pleasure.

Write down the standard sayings that you often hear and think through clever remarks to them.

Disconcert, reacting paradoxically. You can always have ready-made sentences like "A month is shining clearly" and insert it into the conversation regardless of whether it fits or not. Most likely, the enemy will think that he does not understand something, and will be silent.

Just turn on ignore.

Sharpness
In contrast to the provocation of causticity, even in a witty form, are aimed at wounding, affecting another.

"Are you enjoying the cake again?" - A question to the full woman. "Did not you have time to cover your nails with varnish this morning?". "Sign up for a club of single people, then you do not have to work so much overtime."

Criticism and contemptuous remarks that should hit a woman on "painful points" are expressed disguised and obscene. Quips are wicked and are an indirect expression of aggression. People who are not used to show their irritation, directly and for a long time are fraught with disappointment and discontent, tend to show their dissatisfaction in this way. Instead of saying: "I envy your success," they say: "You probably have special connections with the director, since he made you an assistant to the directorate." Often, causticism is an attempt to compensate for a sense of own impotence and weakness.

How to react to taunts
Determine the hint and counter the most accurately, so that the talking tauntsman confesses to what he had in mind or was silent: "So you believe that ..."

If you have reason to believe that you understand - only then! - Explain that it offends you.

Deep breathe and ignore.

Ask yourself the question, what is your colleague's problem, because of what he or she constantly says taunts. Such podkoly - not uncommon in behavior, they can also hide a sense of weakness and powerlessness. This woman or this man to some extent perceive you as a threat or inferior to you in something.

Intrigues
According to the research of psychologists, 70% of all working women see the main cause of unhealthy climate in their collective in intrigues. We hear many terrible stories about how people harass and exhaust each other at work. In the intrigues, the shadow sides of human relations are manifested, they, unfortunately, are quite often observed in business life. Many people suffer from them and even become sick in the most severe cases. They thrive where there is intense competition, poor organization, an unclear division of competencies and a dictator-in-chief. It's easy to morally condemn intrigues or throw them away from ourselves, but in the end, there is always a willingness to intrigue in ourselves. Those who openly resolve conflicts and express their views are not intrigued. Flattery, gossip, spreading rumors, and silence about something important also apply to intriguing ways of behavior.

There are various reasons that induce people to intrigue. The first of them may be this: if the department has a heavy atmosphere or it seems that the work does not make any sense, then the feeling of depression and anxiety can easily find a way out that a group of employees will see themselves as a victim of one of their colleagues. The one who becomes a victim of insidious machinations, feels powerless. For example, she comes to work after lunch and finds out that all the employees of the department have already celebrated the holiday for an hour, and nobody even warned her about it. In this case, such a woman needs all the forces to take herself in hand, cope with the insult and take neutrally to colleagues who brought up the conflict.

Other motives for intrigue may be related to the desire for power and influence: to gain power yourself, to create advantages for oneself in a competitive situation, to take revenge if the desired place is given to another. The earlier such intrigues are identified and disclosed, the more likely they are to do something against them.

How to react to intrigues
To combat intrigues, there is no general rule. In each individual case, you must decide for yourself, depending on your condition and what happened. It's important how you evaluate your opponent. The following list contains suggestions on how you can act and protect yourself.

Talk to the person who understands you, whom you can trust, about your feelings such as sadness, hatred, rage and anger.

Ask yourself, what qualities and qualities you contributed to that became a victim. Do you see an opportunity to change anything in them?

Decide whether it makes sense to counter intrigues. To do this, ask yourself two questions: do I feel strong enough and independent for confrontation? Do I see a chance to influence the conversation about the behavior of another? If so, speak directly about it. In a conversation, you may find out what is the stumbling block for your colleague.

Find the way up and inform your boss. Try to remain calm and objective.

If the working climate does not change for a long time, then you should think about whether it is better for you to go to another job inside the enterprise or even leave the company altogether. It is not worth it because of ambition to force yourself to hold on until you break yourself.

As in any difficult moments of your life, trust your feelings, rely on your own wisdom. Your experience and your mind, perhaps, will prompt you the best solution that you can take in such situations.