The general infatuation of children with computer games worries both parents, and doctors, and teachers. The child stops eating, drinking and talking - he is not up to it, he has not all the monsters killed. Why does this happen and how to "drag" the child from the monitor screen?
To understand what a computer is so attractive to children, it's worth starting with yourself. Exhausted by the constant production of daily bread, we simply can not pay attention to our son or daughter, but it is more necessary than this bread. Without waiting for communication with living people, the child turns to a relatively living organism, which is favorably different from parents in that it is always ready to "form a company".
The speed with which this acquaintance takes place greatly exceeds the speed of mastering, say, the rules of the Russian language, and computer games with seemingly innocuous names "Heroes" and "Conquest of America" triumphally enter the life of your child. If suddenly you find on the desk also the "School Informatics Course", do not rush to rejoice: a shabby kind of textbook says that it is most likely used as a stand for hot tea.
Perhaps, one of the parents brags of hope that, making friends with the computer, in the future the child will become a brilliant programmer.
In vain: far from it. all young talents are able to voluntarily give up entertainment in favor of classes, even if at a computer.
Lord of the world
Computer games provide the child with the opportunity to be what he can not yet be in life: the guiding and guiding force of an event. He grows significantly in his own eyes, because it's not just about participating in a game action, but about full control.
How the process will proceed further depends solely on the desire of the push button. The game becomes a counterbalance to real life, in which little depends on the child. As a psychological relief, such a change of roles is necessary for any person, regardless of his age.
In addition, high-quality graphics gives the child a 100% sense of reality. But some rules of the computer game, for example, the immediate resolution of any questions by automatic queue, may give the child the idea that such a model of behavior is applicable in life.
Of course, the degree of receptivity and psychological stability in all children is different, but it makes sense for parents to at least occasionally be interested in the content of games. The most difficult part is to listen to the story with complete dedication. But then you will rightly be proud of an amazing mutual understanding with teenagers, elegantly inserting into the conversation with them words such as warcraft and counter-strike.
Fighting is useless
In fact, we can not escape this hobby of our children. The computer has come into our lives and will remain in it, whether we like it or not. Bad weather, rain and slush, too, do not give us special joy, but we take an umbrella and walk to the street. Hence the conclusion: to struggle is useless, but it is necessary to control.
One of my friends, having exhausted the reserves of arguments, began to take the mouse with her to work. This is not the best way out, because a child can always go to a friend whose parents are not capable of such drastic measures. Another friend of mine, a journalist, just does not leave the child with the opportunity to stay at the computer for a long time - she constantly sits behind him.
Try to give your son or daughter some set of feasible instructions for him, for example, about the house, after which he has a quiet conscience (if you are sure of its presence), can sit down for the game. If your grandmother lives, she will monitor the process on weekdays.
But do not rely very much on consciousness, and initially, when purchasing a computer, do not skimp on a good monitor: problems with vision will be more expensive. Teach your child to charge for the eyes, for example, squint and turn the pupils first in different directions, and then up and down. And charging for the back - after all, the sitting posture, in which the child stays for hours, is an "aggravating circumstance".
Learn, for example, the exercise "the cat is angry": standing on all fours, lower your head while rounding your back, stay so for 5-10 seconds, then slowly lift your head and gently bend your back. Repeat until you get bored, but not less than 5-6 times.
Cuff or good friend
Now let's imagine that we accomplished the most difficult task - for some time we tore the child off the screen. It remains to consider what we can offer the child in return. Let's face it: there are almost no good free sports sections left.
Maybe the street? But the street on which we with a calm soul let his parents, no more. Even in the "good old days" it was little like the Institute of Noble Maidens, today it has become even more cruel and even deadly - not in the figurative, but in the direct meaning of the word.
It's no wonder that many of us prefer that children spend more time at home: let the child sit at the computer better than paddles through the gateways. The circle is closed?
Before I started to work on this article, I decided to get the information from the first mouth: I asked my fifteen-year-old son that apart from the end of the world he could tear him from communication with monsters. The question caught the child by surprise, and he said that he should think. But the husband, a supporter of patriarchal methods of education, immediately replied: "Cuff."
The idea of the possibility of using brute physical force outraged his son, but accelerated the thought process. "Studies and more important things," he mumbled, looking down. I could only shed tears of emotion! But, judging by the frightening estimates in the diary, studies have long been not a top priority.
I demanded the truth, no matter how bitter it may be. I wish I did not do it - an alternative to a computer was a motorcycle! That same evening my son came up to me with the words: "Mom, I know that I can replace a computer - good friends!" Probably, this really is the best option ...
A piece of gingerbread will not hurt
Call the child for a confidential conversation. Do not pressure him - he will act by luck. It is better to help him realize that everything has reasonable boundaries, that you do not forbid him to do what he likes, but just want him to be engaged not only in this. Tell him that you are happy that he has a hobby (even if it is not really so), but there are still many fascinating things in the world.
Maybe you'll find your interests together and understand what your child likes. For example, in a conversation with 14-year-old Nikita, it turned out that the boy dreams of knowing cars, which surprised his father, an experienced car enthusiast: he did not seem to notice a big love for technology for his son.
But the parents listened, and since then, in his father's garage, Nikita spends no less time than behind the monitor. And another computer fan was sent in the summer ... to the computer camp. The boy's mother decided that at least they would teach him to perceive a complex machine not as a toy. But the teenager "overfulfilled the task" and not only learned to program, but also found a real, living friend there.
Hint to the child that making a final decision, of course, will remain with him and you do not doubt at all the correctness of his choice. A piece of gingerbread has not hurt anyone yet, and the whip in his life is more than enough.
"Save our souls!"
However, the devil is not as terrible as he is painted. The computer boom in something similar to chickenpox, which almost all of us had had a childhood illness. Of course, there was not much pleasure in this, but no one has yet been able to change the natural course of events. However, in our power to make the disease go without complications. And, whatever one may say, it will take time and patience, which we constantly lack.
Let each of the parents make their choice. We so often want to change the surrounding (and how easy it is to put ultimatums to children!), And are much less willing to change themselves. We have become self-absorbed and can find a thousand excuses for this. But no burdens of life are justification for our transformation into machines for obtaining money. And the fact that the car became the best interlocutor for many children, is our fault. Because the computer problem is part of the problem of "fathers and children."
All of us should think about why more and more children prefer the virtual reality of reality and replace live communication with contactless. Maybe because the child is afraid to be rejected and not understood and virtual contact becomes for him the only opportunity not to be lonely? Are we able to create a real alternative to such "non-volatile" and emotionless communication?
Quite, if only we treat the shortcomings of the child as leniently as our own, and perceive it as it is. We, the parents, have forgotten that we ourselves can also be partners in games, and visual training aids. More precisely, practical guidance on the subject called "Life."