Specialists say that a child of three years has a number of age and psychological characteristics. It is from this age that he begins to consider himself more independent. But young parents are not always ready for such changes, and it is necessary to take into account the peculiarities of the psychology of a three-year-old child. For this they need, first of all, to study.
What happens to the child.
It would seem that more recently the baby was so obedient, easily predictable, and then suddenly became harmful, stubborn and completely uncontrollable! Noticeable sharp contrast of concepts: predictable - uncontrollable. Is it only the child himself - in the changes of his personality? Or maybe the whole trouble is with the parents? The fact that they are not ready to accept their grown-up baby, that they want to regain control over him? Often, parents are not ready for the absolutely normal and legitimate demand of a three-year-old child: "I myself!" But many things a child of three years can already do quite independently. Let not as fast as we, adults, but still can. This should only be rejoice. But for some reason most parents are just scared.
- Let me help! - Mother exclaims, looking at the son trying to lace up his shoes.
- I myself! Confidently affirms the boy.
"Well done!" - We grieve at the best, but we will still be annoyed. At worst, let's start screaming at the child: "Come faster!" Behind such irritation, besides the desire to make everything faster, there is real fear. Fear of losing absolute control, loss of one's own importance for the child.
Time for self-government.
Start to organize the "self-government days". Let it be a certain day or period before or after sleep - it does not matter. The main thing is to clearly record this period for the child with the help of, for example, a timer or an alarm clock. First, the leader must be a child, and you will do what he asks of you. If you want to do something yourself, then ask him for permission. Better, if all members of the family participated in this game, it will emphasize family integrity for the child. Then the power will change - the whole family will have to follow the instructions of the new leader. The main condition is that every member of the family should visit the leader's place. If one of the members of the family does not participate in the game, then the psychotherapeutic value of it for the child is sharply reduced.
Everything changes.
At this time a child of three years of age noticeably changes. Moreover, these are not only external, but also much more significant internal changes. The baby actively develops internal organs, there is a visible sharp jump in physical growth. Significant changes are under discussion. The child of 3 years already clearly realizes that he can do many things himself, but at the same time he already understands that without the help of an adult he can not do.
How to behave.
For another capricious "I myself!", Instead of an irritated desire to subdue - "Give! You're still small to do it! "- stop and sincerely praise the child:" What an adult you are! "You will see how grateful and happy your child's eyes will light up. After all, you will say out loud what he feels. In such a situation, it will be easier for the child to accept the help of adults-after all, he was called big and he does not need to prove anything to anyone!
There are a number of objective, organically conditioned reasons for the "bad" behavior of a three-year-old child. How can you cope with this? The main thing is not to bring the situation to a scandal. However, if, after all, the hysteria has begun, then act according to a certain plan:
Take or take the kid from wherever he is.
Now, perhaps it is better to leave him alone for a while - for the lack of spectators the child will quickly calm down.
Remove emotional tension of your child with a couple of simple tricks. Give the baby a soft clay, let him for a while pokramnayet it in his hands.
Ask him to break the newspaper or any other piece of paper, but it should be done together with the child. You can even arrange a competition - who will get smaller pieces.
You can also just crumple paper in your hands - this is a great exercise, which develops small motor skills. Put the baby on the palm of a piece of paper about A4 size, then suggest "hide" it in the cam. Lightly help the child by pressing his finger on the middle of the leaf to make the paper deformed. By the rules you can not help yourself with the other hand. You can help if the kid does not manage at all, - cover and squeeze the child's cam with his hand. Then you can play paper snowballs! It's just a wonderful massage for your hands and just a useful exercise.
Easy massage will always help to relieve tension, especially after violent hysteria. There is an excellent game "Affectionate chalk": you draw a finger on something on the back of the child, and he then guesses what you drew. But, perhaps, it will be more effective if you just regret the baby, embrace it. In the end, this emotional "explosion" was aimed at attracting your precious attention. All tasks for relieving mental stress can be performed only after the child has calmed down a little.
Friend and partner.
Of course, not everything is so simple, but most importantly - to start. Let the baby have several permanent tasks, which he will perform himself. For example, he is quite able to bring his socks in the morning, help his mother to put on the table and after the meal to clean the dishes, etc. Do not do for the child what he can do well himself.
Of course, the peculiarities of the child's psychology in three years are such that he especially needs your support. But it should be support, not dictate: your actions should be constructive and expected for the child. In communicating with your baby, you should always adhere to an even tone, not allowing yourself an unnecessarily emotional reaction to his behavior.
Do not develop a crisis within yourself, and then this difficult period your child will be able to overcome without losses and receive a lot of positive experience. Try to accept your child as a friend and partner - this is what most needs.