How to explain to my husband that my mother-in-law is superfluous

A young wife does not always manage to find a common language with her mother-in-law. It often happens that the mother-in-law is constantly trying to insert her "five cents." Her endless advice can relate to relationships, parenting and much more. Of course, any person will get tired of it, but how to explain to her husband that her mother-in-law is superfluous? In order to understand this difficult situation, it is necessary to consider several possible options.

You live in the mother-in-law's house

How to explain to her husband that her mother-in-law is superfluous, if a young family lives with the parents of a man? In this case, the mother-in-law seems to be and can not be superfluous, because this is her home. But on the other hand, she must understand that a young couple should have their own way of life and their own life. However, what to do when your mother-in-law constantly wants to explain something and tell you?

Firstly, it is necessary to understand that such behavior hinders the husband as well as the daughter-in-law or he agrees with everything. If the guy himself is not thrilled with what his mom does and believes that she is superfluous, then half of the problems are solved. But in this situation, the husband, most likely, will conflict with the mother and mother-in-law will become more angry with the daughter-in-law. She will think that this is what sets the son against her. Therefore, the daughter-in-law should learn to avoid conflicts. And in the first and second cases, she should explain to her husband that his mother is kinking the stick, but at the same time, to work out with him a strategy of behavior in which the conflict is exhausted and not inflamed. True, unfortunately, there are such mothers with whom it is impossible not to fight. But in this case, conversations do not help at all.

If the husband is on the side of the mother, ask him what exactly makes him do this. Let him try to explain the reasons for his behavior. Perhaps he grew up in a family where the mother was always authoritarian and simply afraid of her. There is another option, when my mother did everything for her son and he does not want to offend her and insult her. However, in both cases, the husband simply does not try to independently assess the situation, guided by fear or pity. Therefore, you need to explain to him that with all due respect to his mother, only you and he solve problems in your family. And you would not want your mother-in-law to impose your own behavior patterns. Give him examples in which my mother put in her "five cents" and in the end everything turned out differently than he wanted. In every family where the mother-in-law is constantly trying to get into the relationships of the young, there are necessarily a lot of such examples. Therefore, dig in your memory and choose the brightest. The main thing is never to just tell your husband that his mother is superfluous, bad and she is not right. Reinforce your words with arguments, otherwise he will decide that you are simply slandering your mother-in-law. In the case when you live in his mother's house, remember that in everyday life, most likely, she will still remain in charge, since this is her home and then she is the landlady. With this you simply have to accept.

Her mother-in-law lives separately

If you live separately from your husband's mother, but she constantly calls, comes to visit and controls everything, then try to explain to your husband that your mother misses him and ask him to visit her more often. Perhaps, if she regularly sees her son, she will stop getting you. True, this method does not always work, and then you need to ask your husband to restrict your mother's communication with you. Tell him that because of the constant visits to the guests and calls, you do not have time to deal with everyday life, because you constantly have to pay attention to his mother. Therefore, if he wants the house to be clean, cleaned and always had a delicious dinner, then let him explain to his mother that you have a lot of things that you do not have time to accomplish because of communicating with her.

And the last thing is the upbringing of children. In this case, ask him if he wants his child to see him as an authority and always obey him. Of course, the answer will be positive. After that, explain that in the case when the grandmother constantly corrects the decisions of the parents, the children then begin to perceive it as the only authority, forgetting that the last decisive word should remain for the mother and father.