Causes of quarrels
The reasons for family quarrel can be many. These are claims to each other on everyday trivialities, jealousy, fatigue, past grievances. Jealousy is perhaps the most common reason for conflict. Suspicion of one of the spouses, his insecurity in himself and in the feelings of a partner, too hypertrophied sense of property often leads to quarrels.
If the couple live together for a long time, the romantic haze eventually falls and life appears to them somewhat in a different light. Important are not only kisses and conversations until the morning, but also accidentally forgotten things on the chair, a toothpaste splashed with toothpaste in the bathroom, unwashed dishes after dinner. Often in such cases they say - zael life. The monotony of life and boredom are also quite fertile ground for the development of conflicts.
Many couples begin to quarrel with the advent of children. And it's no wonder - the needs and habits of adults go to the background, and the child becomes the center of the family around which all interests revolve. Often at such a time family relations interfere with relatives. In trying to help, to reconcile spouses, they become the cause of even more serious quarrels and grievances.
The overall complexity and unsettled life does not contribute to peace in the family. Problems with housing, lack of money, the inability of one of the spouses to satisfy their needs - all this leads to inevitable quarrels.
Constructive dispute
Adult people can not quarrel with each other, in the end, we all left the childhood for a long time, when any problems were solved exclusively by conflicts - with oneself, relatives and friends. Any quarrel can be turned into a constructive dispute and draw the right conclusions.
Recollect, with what the quarrel in your family begins. It is likely that it turns out that with mutual claims and reproaches. The spouses utter mutilating things to each other, not caring about each other's feelings. Try to avoid this. It is not necessary to tell the spouse "you always throw your socks!", It's better to explain that you spend a lot of time cleaning his things, but could at this time do something more useful and enjoyable. Usually quiet, reasonable requests act better than aggressive charges.
The next thing that makes the quarrel full already is screaming. Please note that the conversation on high tones will never work. Screaming is aggression, it makes another person defend yourself in your own way, that is, scream. As a result, the spouses in their hearts suddenly spit out on the friend all the anger, all the accumulated negative emotions that may not have anything to do with the problems of the family. So try to stay calm and ask your spouse about the same.
If you are aiming at a constructive argument, rather than a banal quarrel, then take breaks in the discussion when you feel that your passions are too hot.
Another way to not bring the matter to the scandal is not to accumulate grievances and negative emotions in weeks, months and years, otherwise one day it will necessarily end in a big quarrel. If something offended or offended you, talk about your feelings at once. Talk about what exactly caused your disappointment, and what you felt while doing it.
Elimination of consequences
Unfortunately, people either naively believe that there will not be quarrels in their family at all, or they take up solving problems when these quarrels were already a lot. Relationships are checked in different ways, quarrels and disputes, including, however, after scandals for a long time there is a feeling of devastation and resentment. First it starts with a small one - with a simple insulting word, then the spouses allow more offensive cries, serious accusations and even insults towards each other. It is almost impossible to stop, which is why quarrels among many families are similar to military actions in terms of the scale of aggression and destruction.
If you leave everything as it is, dreams of family happiness will remain dreams. It is very difficult to enjoy life, when the closest person does not cause pleasant emotions, respect and is a constant opponent in disputes, when it should be supported. Therefore, it is necessary to learn to calmly talk, negotiate with each other and listen to everyone's opinion.
First of all, find out what causes your quarrels most often and by joint efforts get rid of it. Try to agree that the family and your relationship is more important than trouble, and peace in the family is more important than silly quarrels and grievances. It is unlikely that one of the spouses wants another evil, why offend a loved one? Always remember that before you - a living person who is not devoid of shortcomings, but he is the one you love. Then the desire to quarrel will arise less often. Learn to seek not guilty, but ways to resolve the conflict, then you will be able to maintain a good relationship.
Family quarrels are the first step to parting. They cause much pain not only to spouses, but to all close people-children, parents, friends. Frequent conflicts oppress, make a person change for the better, are reflected in all spheres of life. But family quarrels can disappear if two people appreciate each other, in any case, quarrels can become discussions of problems - without scandals, tears and mutual resentments.