How to learn to have fun

In the modern world, the word "pleasure" is most often used in advertising slogans and is inextricably linked with consumption and money. The phrase "for pleasure must be paid" has recently been generally taken literally, in the context of commodity-money relations. To the concept of "pleasure" we appeal even in those moments when we talk about sex and food. And that's all. We consider it to be something frivolous and facultative: a whim, nonsense or a whim. Rarely think about it and never really set ourselves the goal of getting it. There is a feeling that if we did not eat, did not do somersaults in bed and did not consume all kinds of products and services, our life would be deprived of all pleasure. The famous ancient philosopher Epicurus, having learned about this state of affairs, would be so sad that instead of a glass of wine, which he asked to bring before bathing in his death, he would order vodka.

Pleasure was one of the central concepts in his philosophy, but do not write down the old man in a series of such bon vivans. And with Dionysus - the god of winemaking and fun - it's also not to be confused. The teachings of Epicurus can not be reduced to the call to enjoy life to its fullest - it is much more multidimensional, interesting and psychological. No wonder most of the outstanding psychologists of the 20th century appealed to him.

The theorist of buzz
Epicurus did not believe in the afterlife, although he did not deny the existence of the gods. However, in his opinion, they lived their own lives, experiencing only indifference towards people. According to the philosopher, the man himself had his own destiny and had the will. Thanks to her people had to reach the state of internal balance - ataraxia. On the way to this goal, Epicurus proposed to focus on his own feelings, which he considered a more reliable source of information than reasoning. Well, in the process - to meet their needs, have fun and minimize the anguish and suffering. Thus, part of the principles that guided modern psychology, were formed even before our era.

We all have a lot to learn from Epicurus. For example, it costs less to think and feel more. And also - take fate in your own hands, realize the real needs that clearly go beyond the list of "sex-food-shopping", and not postpone the receipt of real pleasures for later.

The philosophy of Epicurus is so positive, transparent and wise that it is not at all clear why we still do not live in the era of the victorious Epicurean. It is possible, of course, to explain this deplorable fact by the fact that we were all influenced by medieval religious morality, in which all kinds of pleasure were forbidden and tied to a sense of guilt. However, in fact, both Christianity and Epicureanism call us to moderation. The pursuit of new and new pleasures leads to a state of internal imbalance. No ataraxia can not be achieved that way.

The lists do not appear
Modern parents tend to teach their children all sorts of things. They raise hardworking, obedient, intelligent, successful children, instilling leadership skills or the ability to sacrifice themselves for others. But the thought of systematically developing in their spinogryzah to enjoy life in the head does not come to anyone. Although, if you think about it, this skill is the best parachute, triggered in difficult periods. Such a simple thing as pleasure, strengthens and strengthens the desire to live, pulls out of a depressed state, is the world's best motivation and stimulus. It is also a real alternative to alcohol and narcotic kicks, and hence addiction.

When the process of work itself is pleasant, the path ceases to resemble an ascent and turns into a joyful walk through the picturesque terrain. Of course, on the road there will certainly be descents and ascents. There will be fatigue. However, after achieving significant results, you can make a halt and celebrate the victory, and go further will be much easier. As the great and gruesome Jobs has proved by his example: "Find something to like and you will never have to work again."

A girl from a good pig
An unconscious ban on getting pleasure is given by those parents who teach children always and in everything to give in to others, to think first of all about others, and only then about themselves, to be a "good humble girl" and a "properly educated boy". In principle, there is nothing wrong with these ideas, sometimes it is really worth thinking about first and foremost from time to time, and not going to open conflict. However, the child's perception of some piece of information coming from parents has one peculiarity: it adds to the sentence "always". This leads to the fact that, having matured, a person turns out to be incapable of thinking about himself, defending his boundaries and realizing his desires. He becomes a mother Teresa or Batman, constantly saving everyone and everything. As a result, they get tired and irritated, the "modest girl" turns into a fury with a baseball bat, and a "well-bred boy" who never serves in the army organizes the day of the paratrooper in a separate apartment.

Finding and finding pleasures is one of the ways of self-knowledge. A person who does not know how to take care of himself, in fact, can not really take care of his loved ones, because we treat others only in the same way as our beloved. Noble impulses, help, salvation and charity are good only when they bring pleasure in the process, and subsequently do not cause a nasty sediment in the form of irritation. Otherwise they are just a disguised desire to exchange services for some kind of reward in the form of attention or positive evaluation. Pleasure becomes a sort of beacon that allows you to navigate in the space of your own life. The question "if some action does not bring me pleasure, then why am I committing it?" can be key to understanding yourself here and now.

Wines do not come alone
In some families, signs are passed from generation to generation: "Do not laugh much, then you will cry a lot." Thus, not only laughter, but also any positive emotions, including pleasure, are at least limited, and sometimes even completely banned. While enjoying something, a person begins to feel guilty in the process, as if he is angry with the gods or, rather, the evil spirits of ancestors who once decided against sin not to rejoice and have too much fun. Why? Perhaps, indeed, a long time ago after a very joyous event, another thing followed - very sad. And then what psychologists call magical thinking, which is typical for all children under six years old, and some especially disturbing and immature adults, went on.

Almost every child at an early age believes: if you look very long at the clouds, when you want to walk, they will disperse and the sun will come out. A little later, in elementary school, we get information about cyclones and anticyclones, and forget that once we believed in our own magical abilities. However, in some aspects of life such a faith remains with us for life. And at the age of thirty and forty, we can spit over our shoulders and knock on wood so as not to jinx it. So we support the illusion of managing global processes, the ability to control a frightening and unexplored future.

If we abandon the idea of ​​our divinity, confess ourselves that we can not control uncertainty in any way, then we can relax and have fun. And in those cases when, at the onset of some long pleasant moment in life, thoughts arise in your head about the imminent approach of the black band, imagine the situation like this: turn left or right, and then go along the white strip along, along and along ...

In our life, pleasures are the place of intersection of the corporeal, intellectual and sensual spheres. This is a very important point of support, finding that you can easily turn the world around. Finding and finding sources of positive emotions is also an attempt to find answers to the questions "who am I?", "What am I today?", "What do I want?". And the search is not rational and exhausting, in which it is easier to get confused than to come to an important awareness, and live, and also very pleasant.