The child feels that the parents are not focused only on him alone, as before. Changes are coming.
Mom and Dad ask the question: how to explain to the child that he will have a brother?
It is very important to prepare the first child for the appearance of another baby in the family. First, it is necessary to ensure the safety of a future brother or sister. The older child needs to be explained that with her mother now it is necessary to manage very carefully, so as not to hurt the little one. Mom needs to rest more, and, actively playing with him, sledding and circling on the handles can only temporarily dad. To make the kid feel more mature, make him your assistant: give him simple tasks. Best of all, if they concern care of the mother (and, at the same time - about the crumb in the mother's tummy): go for a rug and cover it, bring water or a book. So the child will feel necessary, involved in what is happening, will become responsible. But, do not force the baby to help against his desire, do not overload unnecessarily - mother's pregnancy should not cause him negative associations. If a child begins to feel like a "cinderella" in the family - he can forever connect these unpleasant changes with the birth of a "small rival".
Jealousy for younger children is a common problem. "Parents have got a new child for themselves, and I do not need it anymore," "why should I give up everything to my brother (sister) in any way, what am I worse than him?", "Why they started treating me like an adult, I, after all, only 5 (8, 10, etc.) years! " - Such feelings are often experienced by older children when a newborn appears in the family. To minimize the risk of jealousy, parents should not forget that the eldest child is anyway a kid. He needs to feel that for Mom and Dad he remained "a little favorite kitten" despite the fact that the family will soon have another crumb. Psychologists say that at the time of the birth of the second child, the first child needs to be given twice as much time as the newborn. This is not at all easy, but if it is right to prepare the elder for the appearance of the baby - it is quite feasible.
The main thing is to create the right mood in the family. Include the elder in the joyous fuss that accompanies the expectation of the baby. Take it with you to the store - let it help you choose a bath, advise what color the wheelchair to buy a brother or sister (be sure to listen to his opinion), will pick up a stack of beautiful diapers. But, getting a dowry for a crumb - buy something for the older child. And do it always. All equally - the correct principle for children.
Choose a name for the baby together: it is considered a good sign when the youngest child is named the elder, and, among other things, for the child - this is a serious reason for pride and a serious proof of parental trust, respect and love. After all, the most important thing is that the older child should feel: this is their "common" baby, and not the "new favorite" of mom and dad.
Beware of comparing your children, emphasizing their differences - this is a direct way to reduce the children's self-esteem and the emergence of jealousy. On the contrary, pay attention to the older one's likeness to the youngest, since the time when the baby is still in the tummy: "You just wiggled your legs, and I was tickled, touch it!".
Take the child with you on ultrasound (especially if you can see the 3d image): "cartoon about the baby", as a rule, causes a furore in children. Parents need to be ready, to the fact that they are more than once asked to show this video at home.
Do not deprive the older child of the usual joint pleasures with her mother: she, as before, is able to draw, read, build houses from the designer, and a game of football, or skating - will be able to support as a spectator.
Explain to the older child that he hears a crumb in his tummy: let him talk to his future brother or sister, sing songs and stroke his mother's tummy - so the baby will get used to his voice. Mom can answer the older "younger voice" - as a rule, this game causes positive emotions for all participants.
It is important that when a baby is born, the older child is not disappointed: a newborn may seem to him a rather boring creation, and not an expected fun friend for games. It is necessary to explain to the child in advance that the crumb will at first be, basically, sleeping and eating, and it will be possible to play with it when it grows slightly.
Surely, the older baby will have "purely technical" questions about how his brother or sister ended up in the mother's abdomen. Answering, you can focus on how the baby grows and develops, and do not delve into the physiological details of conception and childbirth.
If the place of sleep of an older child should change its dislocation in connection with the appearance of a younger one, it is better to do it in advance, after all, when the baby comes from the hospital, the firstborn will have to adapt to serious changes.
If the first-born is still very small, do not rush to tell him about a new pregnancy: the child can simply get tired of waiting. Wait until the pregnancy becomes visible to the naked eye.
Report to the first child that having a brother or sister is a huge success in life. "Younger" is the closest friend, student and pride, not a competitor. This is actually the main rule of how to explain to the child that he will have a brother or sister.
Being parents of more than one child is multiplied happiness. Enjoy together with the first child the magical waiting time of the child. The benevolent situation in the family will necessarily pass to the older child, and he will eagerly await the moment when he can touch a tiny heel, shake the cradle and see the first smile of a brother or sister.