So it turns out that you love, but you do not. In the soul there is some painful-painful feeling. It torments you and gives you no peace, forcing you to rush to forgive the object of passion, then, on the contrary, to make plans for terrible plans for revenge ...
All this is because of a feeling like falling in love. So how to get rid of love for a person?
Methods of prevention.
Let's analyze the feeling of love closer. It, so praised in society, in fact is not something more than a mental illness. Remember how you experienced the first love - depression and euphoria, complete passivity and excitement, absent-mindedness and the feeling that you can turn mountains. In a literal sense, every Juliet has the above described signs, but try to go with them, for example, to a neurologist.
He will immediately diagnose you - psychopathy - and then offer to undergo treatment. Alas, often love begins to be treated in an already neglected phase, when the disease almost does not respond to treatment. It is much easier to take various preventive measures. You should not allow even thoughts of love or love, fight with all its manifestations, stop reading books about love, throw out love melodramas, and instead, immerse yourself in your work. If these preventive measures are followed, the threat of infection with a "virus" called "love" will quickly decrease.
The way of logical comprehension.
Objectively and calmly evaluate all the advantages and disadvantages. What can give you a feeling of love? Even if everything goes well further, then inevitably the extinction of feelings, and then conflicts, quarrels and the inevitable break. Even if you and your partner behave correctly, even if parting will cause you a lot of negative emotions.
To love is to lose. And first of all freedom.
Love is voluntary, and therefore it is simultaneously the highest form of slavery; remember your dignity, do you like being a slave? Love takes away from you a huge amount of time, energy, nerves, money; you are most likely to lose friends, work, and in the end, only get memories, and not always pleasant. To get rid of love for a person it will be enough only to remember how many crimes and evil were committed at all times because of love; remember all those people whose folly caused harm to relatives and friends. Does this serious madness still seem tempting to you?
Method Lope de Vega
"If you are too smart for women, look for disadvantages in the charms," - so taught the hero of one of the famous comedies of the Spanish playwright. Try to treat the object of your passion as critically as possible. From time to time, remember his shortcomings. Does he have a small tummy? - Perfectly! You can believe, in a couple of years it would look like a real hog. He does not know how to cook? "And he will never learn!" Every time you come home, you will be waiting for burnt chops and undercooked potatoes. Find imperfections even in its merits. Is he too economical? It's not true, he's just stingy! Is he a great lover? This means that he "still trains" somewhere else! The more often you do it, the faster the falling of the falling in love with your eyes.
Pasteur's technique.
It's no secret that Pasteur proposed to introduce a weakened infection into the human body to prevent the development of immunity. Therefore, if you are so overwhelmed by all sorts of romantic dreams, and you are already tired of pressing them, then just give them free rein. Try to find yourself a comfortable object of passion and twirl with it a novel. But, as soon as you feel that you become attached to it - immediately throw it and look for the next one. Having done this way 4-5 times, you will receive a sufficient dose of "medicine" and completely get rid of the love of a person. But do not forget, "everything is poison and everything is a medicine - only in a dose," the most important thing is not to overdo it, or you will fall in love again. True, and the lack can become for you the reason of new tortures.
Method of de-romanticization
As you know, it is people with a romantic mindset who tend to fall in love. They idealize love, and therefore any obstacle in this matter is regarded by them as a source of incredible suffering and torment. If you have this type of personality, then you can help de-romanticization. It will be enough just to rid people of an idealized romantic idea of the world, and love will pass by itself. For this, first, read a couple of incompetent love stories, however, almost all of them are mediocre, so there should not be any special problems.
Talk to such a person who does not approve of love in principle. Such people can be found everywhere, in each city you can find an interlocutor for yourself. Still there is an option to search on the Internet. Recently, I managed to find a misogynist site. Such elementary support is often very effective, in order to get rid of love for a person. Further, if it still does not help, you better go and work. For natures set romantically an excellent medicine will be the profession of a nurse, a builder, seamstress, a loader. As a rule, it is quite enough to stay in this environment for only a month - one and a half, and the rose-colored glasses will be removed forever.
Method of extrapolation.
In the event that you are still overcome with all sorts of romantic fantasies, if you think that you can still save or restore relationships, then there is another advice - stop practicing self-deception. You think that "everything will be completely different" - try to imagine this "differently" day by day, month by month. The freshness of the relationship has already passed; interesting topics for conversation have been exhausted, it remains only to discuss the pressing problems or the weather, which you can successfully do with friends or friends. In the partner all the new not very nice lines open (in each of us they are, and from this can not escape) ...
Imagine such a fresh communication with your partner, from week to week, from year to year, always with the same person - and you will immediately feel how an irresistible boredom will seize you, forever saving you from the love of man. Think: what can this kind of love lead to in the future? Do you want to live together? And will you have the opportunity to build a life together with the object of love? Is there such a necessary mutual understanding? If there is an idealization and deification, can you agree on something? Do you have ideas about business, financial, and domestic priorities? ... You see, how many questions !? Will you manage to transfer all this weight of common life ... From time to time think about it, and you will see that the desire to fall in love quickly disappears.
The right way of life.
Remember that idleness is the source of almost all existing vices. If your thoughts are not occupied in any way, then it is not surprising that the head is immediately filled with nonsense; nature, as you know, never tolerates emptiness. If you are engaged in constructive intellectual activity that gives you pleasure, in general, if you have an exciting lesson (whether it is a hobby or a basic job) - thoughts about your former partner are unlikely to take your consciousness and you will easily get rid of love for a person.
It is not necessary to succumb to the false agitation of those who raised their personal weaknesses in absolute terms, while not being able to overcome them. Such people, worthy only pity, and this is at best, and at worst - neglect, since they flooded the world with phrases like "you can not order your heart", "with a nice paradise and in a hut" and so on. Such nonsense resembles the stories of drug addicts and alcoholics who do not want to overcome their own vice. Be above all this, and you can then be proud of yourself, and this is much fun than the ghostly "delights" of love.
The method of Sigmund Freud
The great philosopher Freud in his scientific works outlined the mechanism of human consciousness called sublimation. This is a process whereby energy directed initially to aggressive or sexual goals is redirected to other purposes, often to intellectual, artistic or cultural ones. Therefore, it follows that, having fallen in love, we must redirect all our thoughts to creativity. Do you like drawing? So draw! To play music? This is even better!
Try to compose something brilliant (absolutely seriously), for example, an opera or a cantata. Do not know how neither one nor the other, then go and learn! It's never too late to learn to play your favorite musical instrument, learn the basics of painting or learn a couple of modern dance movements, while expressing in it your emotions and feelings that you have received from love for another person.
Sublimating the energy of love, you can create something beautiful and, key, your love will go away, and you will have another talent, which, at the same time, can be the occasion for a new acquaintance.
Methodology B. In. Zeigarnik - just finish the love
The popular domestic psychoanalyst Bluma Wolfenovna Zeygarnik in one of her studies gave the subjects 20 small tasks, for example, to make a house out of a pack of matches, to solve the equation, to assemble a mosaic, and part of the tasks were not finished until the end. Then, as if by accident, he was asked exactly which tasks he especially remembered, and very often the subjects recalled exactly the tasks that they were not allowed to complete.
So love is not always complete until the end. It seems to be stuck in the stream of consciousness, interfering with the usual flow of thoughts. We always remember this person when we need or do not have to, we talk to him mentally, we rave about him and immediately forgive ... Often these thoughts become so obsessive that they can interfere with learning, working, sleeping, so we must necessarily leave them to get rid of.
How can you get rid of them? It is necessary to finish your love. Of course, it would be nice to go to a psychoanalyst and talk to him. However, not everyone has such an opportunity, so you will need the help of an understanding girlfriend or friend. First: you need to sit opposite each other. After that, describe to him or her the whole situation, while starting from dating and ending with parting, do not need to talk about your emotions or feelings, try to do it, such as an official report. The next part suggests the same story, but now from the emotional point of view, let your assistant ask: "What exactly did you feel at that moment?". The third stage involves understanding you what you are experiencing for this person now, tell us about it in detail. The fourth stage consists of a conversation with the former half, but not the present, but the imaginary one. Get one more chair, and say personally from yourself what exactly you think about these relationships, then change to the second chair, and imagining yourself as the person with whom you left, give him an answer, and so on. Then again, repeat step four. Psychologists say that it helps a lot if you want to get rid of love for another person.