Everything starts, as it may seem, from insignificant moments: difficulties in remembering letters, inability to concentrate or slow pace of work. Something is written off to the age - still small, not used to; something - a lack of education; something - the lack of desire to work. But it is at this point in time that the problems are relatively easy to detect and easy to fix. But then the problems begin to grow like a snowball - one pulls the other and forms a vicious and terrible circle. Constantly arising failures strongly discourage the child and pass from one subject to another.
The schoolboy begins to consider himself incapable, helpless, and all his efforts - useless. Children's psychologists are sure: the result of training depends not only on the abilities of the person to solve the tasks assigned to him, but also on the confidence that he will be able to solve this problem. If failures follow one after another, then, of course, there comes a time when the child inspires himself that, no, it will never work out for me. And since never, then there is no need to try. Thrown by my father or mother between the case: "What are you stupid!" - can only add fuel to the fire. Not only words, but just the attitude itself, which is demonstrated, even if unintentionally, but with reproach, gestures, intonation, the child sometimes speaks more loud words.
What should parents do if difficulties have already appeared or how to help the child in school problems?
It is not necessary to consider the emerging school difficulties as a tragedy.
Do not despair, and most importantly, try not to show your discontent and grief. Remember that your main task is to help the child. For this, love and accept it as it is and then it will be easier for him.
We need to be attuned, and will prepare for the upcoming long-term joint work with the child.
And remember - he alone can not cope with their difficulties.
The main help is to support self-reliance.
It is necessary to try to relieve him of feelings of guilt and tension because of failures. If you are absorbed in your affairs and take a moment to figure out how to do things or scold - then this is not help, but the basis for the emergence of a new problem.
Forget the hackneyed phrase: "What did you get today?"
It is not necessary to require the child to immediately talk about his affairs at school, especially if he is upset or upset. Leave him alone if he has confidence in your support, then, most likely, will tell you everything later.
No need to discuss with the teacher the difficulties of the child in his presence.
It would be better to do it without him. Not in any way, do not abuse the child if his friends or classmates are nearby. Do not admire the achievements and successes of other children.
Be interested in doing homework only when you regularly help the child.
During the joint work, have patience. Since work aimed at overcoming school difficulties requires the ability to restrain and is very tiring, you do not need to raise your voice, calmly repeat and explain the same thing several times - without irritation and reproaches. Typical complaints of the parents: "All the nerves exhausted ... There are no forces ..." Do you understand what's the matter? The adult can not restrain himself, but the child becomes guilty. All parents regret first themselves, but the child - rarely enough.
Parents for some reason believe that if there are difficulties in writing, then you need to write more; if poorly considered - more to solve the examples; if bad reads - read more. But these lessons are tiresome, do not give satisfaction and kill the joy of the work process. Therefore, you do not need to overload the child with things that are not working well for him.
It is important that in the course of the classes you do not interfere, and that the child feels - you and him and for him. Turn off the TV, do not interrupt the class, do not get distracted to run to the kitchen or call the phone.
It is also very important to decide with which parent the child is easier to do the lessons. Mom is usually softer and lacks patience, and they perceive more and more emotionally. Dads are calmer, but tougher. One should try to avoid such a situation, when one of the parents, having lost patience, causes another to succeed.
Still need to bear in mind that a child who has school problems, only in a rare case will be fully informed that he was asked to go home. In this there is no malice - just homework is almost always given by the end of the lesson, when everyone in the class is making noises, and your child is already tired and the teacher hardly hears. Therefore, at home, he can sincerely state that he was not asked anything. In such cases, learn from your classmates about your homework.
Preparation homework should be a total duration for continuous work no more than thirty minutes. To pause, while doing homework, it is necessary.
No need to strive, at any cost to do immediately all the homework.
The child needs help and support from different sides, so try to find a common language with the teacher.
If there are failures, it is advisable to encourage and support, and any, even the smallest successes need to be emphasized.
The most important thing in helping a child is to encourage him for work, and not just with words. It can be a trip to the zoo, a joint walk, or a visit to the theater.
Children with school difficulties should observe a clear and measured regime of the day.
Do not forget that such children are usually unassembled, restless, which means they do not just follow the regime.
If in the morning the child gets up with difficulty, do not rush and do not push it again, better put the alarm the next time for half an hour.
In the evening, when it's time to go to bed, you can give the child some freedom - to let go, for example, from nine to thirty. The child needs a full rest at the weekend and vacations, without any training assignments.
If there is a possibility, then be sure to consult a child with specialists - speech therapists, doctors, teachers, psychoneurologists. And follow all their recommendations.