But often such a complex decision is made very haphazardly, without weighing all the pros and cons, relying only on their own emotions without sober reflection and consideration of other possible options for solving the conflict, or out of the situation.
In recent years, divorce statistics are rather sad, which indicates a more frivolous attitude toward marriage, stubbornness and inability, or rather, the ability to make concessions, in young couples. A thought is imposed on itself, about the possibility of such an outcome for themselves, because they do not insure against this. But it is worth remembering that in any case, everything depends on you, and you need to know how to protect yourself from divorce in the family.
Creating a family is also a work, probably the most difficult and most enjoyable of all possible types of our activities. With such abilities are not born, they learn throughout life, relying on experience, both personal and foreign. Of course, we are all capable of making mistakes, but only a few can correct them.
Why do people get divorced?
Family life, in all its manifestations, demands from the spouses emotional maturity, responsibility and understanding on what important step they are taking. After all, the creation of a family does not constitute an eternal celebration for a wedding. And after a noisy feast, gray days come, which very often differ from our ideas about living together.
From the point of view of psychologists, we can distinguish several of the most common causes of divorce in the family:
Incompatibility of characters. No matter how trite it may sound, but the leading cause of divorce is precisely the complete opposite of the characters. And if someone answers a question about the reason "did not meet the characters," do not take it as a signal, and unwillingness to talk about a true pretext. Such a concept as a person's character makes us who we are. In the period of falling in love, we try to show our best qualities, in the period of our life together our whole essence will be as it is. Because of this change, conflicts begin.
- emotional immaturity. As mentioned above, the emotional immaturity of partners, and the unwillingness to live together, invariably leads to a divorce. This is especially true for couples who marry at an early age and more for the sake of curiosity.
- Leadership aspiration. Everyone can be a leader, but in the family, as in any other part of our life, someone should lead, and someone must obey. If no one wants to give in, marriage is doomed.
What can I do to prevent my marriage from falling apart?
How to save the family from a divorce, and save peace and coziness there, despite many factors, psychologists know.
As practice shows - the reason for the divorce, this is only an excuse for changing the relationship in a pair. Perhaps your relationship has already lost its past colors, and they need to be updated a little. Divorce can be considered the same, some purpose to get emotional shakeup, whatever it may be. So why expose yourself to negative emotions, if you can make a surge of positive?
Similarly, to preserve peace in the family, conflicts should not be avoided. Conflict is also communication. Often only in this way, people can communicate their discontent or wishes to each other. Therefore, an ideal family can be considered not one where there is no dispute, but one where they can solve them. After all, it is also necessary to know the relationship.
Just learn to admit your wrong and ask for forgiveness. The word "forgive" refers to one of the most difficult, since its use means admission of guilt, and nobody wants to make oneself guilty. But, in family relationships, the place for pride is far from the first, so admission of guilt, and the ability to ask forgiveness and forgive is more important.
Another mistake that most couples make almost daily is the transfer of work problems to the family. This does not mean that the topic of work from now on is taboo for you, just get the support or advice you need without taking out all your anger or discontent on a person close to you. Otherwise, the work will fill your entire life, displacing the family from it. In this case, a divorce in the family can not be avoided.
Parents.
Often the root cause of divorce is parents. This is due not only to the fact that because of the desire to help they are ready to live the life of a young couple, do not let go and make a step on your own. It is more about relationships in the families of spouses. People from childhood tend to copy their parents' behavior patterns, and then transfer them to their own family life. A big difference in the family charters of the parents of the bride and groom, may soon bear their negative fruits. Therefore, before you put a stamp in your passport, take a close look at how your chosen one is used to living, sooner or later you will still come across this.
The main thing in family life is not to look for reasons for quarrels, then there is no reason to seek a divorce.