It would seem that divorce is an ordinary everyday matter, which has become the norm for modern society. But this is only as long as it is a question of another's divorce, which does not hurt, does not turn inside out and does not make you howl at night on the moon. When the divorce divides in half its own family, comes a personal apocalypse and the end of the world. It becomes difficult to believe that after a divorce there is a life in which there is a place of joy, love and female happiness. However, psychologists claim that there is. Moreover, even the most neglected case of parting can be experienced with the least losses for the psyche, and the relationship with the ex-husband - bring to friendship, or at least not turn into a battlefield with numerous victims. Easy to survive the divorce will help ten simple, but effective advice from leading psychologists:
Tip 1. Recognize and accept the divorce. After a long period of family life it is very difficult to utter even in thoughts this eerie word "divorce." But if it is ripe, it must be recognized, voiced and acted. Doubts here are relevant only at the first attempts to "resuscitate" the relationship. If the decision is made, accustom yourself to a new reality, where parting is inevitability, which becomes a fact. Tip 2. Close all doors and burn all bridges to retreat. Do not harbor the illusion that relationships can be resurrected if they began to destroy you. Take this step resolutely and give yourself and your spouse the chance of a new happiness with a new person. Cut off any path to retreat so that you do not have the temptation to enter the same river a second time.
Council 3. Follow the adage: "Eyes do not see - the heart does not hurt." To be offended, angry and even hate her husband in the process of divorce and at first after him is quite normal. But it is better to do this without striving for destruction and destruction. To maintain civilized relations in the future, whenever possible minimize contact with your ex-spouse. Hot emotions are never wise. When the soul hurts, it is very easy to say and do what you can regret all your life.
Tip 4. Give a way out to emotions. Do not hold the pain in yourself. Let her go out: scream, cry, beat the dishes. Let it be better to be a wedding service, not your husband's head. Get rid of the opportunity to contemplate your anger. Let's get out of the negative in the kitchen of a friend, on the forum on the Internet, on my mom's shoulder, at a psychologist's reception or even in the woods, where only the trees and birds feel your anger. And then, with a cold heart and sober intelligence, discuss with your husband the nuances of the divorce process. Tip 5. Upload yourself with work. The best doctor is not only time, but also work. Fill every minute of your life without a husband with an activity that would exhaust you to the point of exhaustion, when you are most happy to see the pillow. And so on, until the thought of the collapse of the family is at least a secondary goal.
Tip 6. Look for new hobbies. Divorce frees up a lot of time, which can and should be used to implement an old dream, which turned out to be not a priority because of family employment. Sign up for dancing, attend cooking classes, learn a foreign language, get a driver's license or become a driving instructor yourself. A new hobby, interest, hobby will give you a large portion of joy, inspiration and self-realization, in which you can draw energy for survival after a divorce. Advice 7. Help someone who is worse than you now. Your grief is universal, but only for you personally. In the world around you there are people who, perhaps, are now a hundred times worse than you. Find this person and give him all possible help. From the heart, without expectations of gratitude and relief. Penetrate his experiences, help me find a way out or just listen. What is a trifle for you can be a lifeline for another person. Helping others, you heal your own pain.
Tip 8. Do not shut yourself in and do not get drunk with pain. Suffering is permissible only if they have a time frame. When you wear "mourning" for a long time with another woman who has gone into another life with another woman, this becomes your way of life, which grows into a norm. Having burst into tears, having uttered yourself in a vest to a close friend and having eaten on the nerves of an elephant, rend with cruel mercilessness. You go out with your friends to the light, go for mushrooms, go fishing, travel. Show the world itself and give yourself a chance to meet new people who can make you happy. Advice 9. I'm sorry. Learn to forgive. Forgiving, you help first of all yourself, because resentment and hatred destroy first of all its carrier. Forgive you will help understand that every person who has come into your life, a teacher. And the harder the lesson, the more valuable it is to you. Thank your husband (in any relationship, there is something to thank) and let go in peace, not allowing yourself to dismiss his notoriety. If your spouse really deserves punishment for his act, the offender will find it, and this is his lesson, his karma and his pain.
Council 10. Lead a club of abandoned wives. If you manage to part with your husband easily, wisely overcoming all inherent in the divorce test, share this invaluable experience with women who are also experiencing the bitterness of parting. The joint overcoming of the divorce problem draws together and makes it stronger, more confident, bolder. Help yourself and painfully experienced the collapse of the family of women to understand that a happy life after the divorce exists.