Psi-factor
- The first and main question: can I have sex in bed when a small child is sleeping nearby? On the one hand, he does not have an understanding of what is happening, even if he is awake. On the other hand, most of us feel a subconscious ban on such an action. Most sexologists believe that the presence of a child in bed during intercourse is unacceptable, and that's why. It is peculiar for a person to build an associative relationship between the sexual situation and the sexual act itself. At the same time, if loving people have sex, say, in the hayloft and have received extraordinary pleasure from it, then the smell of hay will be a strong stimulating factor. Experts believe that it is not worth risking, leaving the child in bed for the time of the sexual act. The work of the brain is bizarre and mysterious, you should not allow the risk of displacement of sexual desire.
- The second argument in favor of the word "no" is the emotional background that occurs in the spouses during sexual intercourse in the immediate vicinity of the baby.The internal sensation of taboo causes shame, a sense of danger, as if you are being watched, and this can also lead to deformation of sexual attachments The fact is that after the birth of a child, a woman begins to experience more turbulent feelings during sexual intercourse, the confusion of the power of feelings with shame can lead to the subsequent craving for making love under precisely such "extreme" conditions.
- The third argument is a banal psychological strain. It's one thing when you constantly listen, if the baby is not awake in the next room. And quite another, when you subconsciously expect this with a crumb at your side. A complex of negative emotions may not lead to the deformations of the drive described above, but it can turn a sexual act into a source of stress, and this does not have the best effect on the sexual functions of partners.
- The fourth is the impossibility of "breaking" between the roles of the mother and the woman near the baby.This is a little easier for men, but the mother's dominant is very strong in the young mother, especially during the infancy of the child.In this situation, sexual intercourse will not bring sexual pleasure, but will turn in the "conjugal duty". Of course, such things do not happen with everyone and not always, but in general, young parents tend to experience discomfort if the baby is nearby during the sexual act.
How to organize everything?
If you wanted to have a full sexual life, but are not ready or do not want to teach the baby to sleep separately, you will have to get out of the matrimonial bed yourself or temporarily shift the baby. Here are some possible options.
• Carefully move the crumb into a stroller or crib when it is already asleep. Usually, when sleeping together, the baby falls asleep at the mother's breast. This time, feed the crumb, putting his head on his arm. Wait until he has completed the first phase of rapid sleep and a deep phase: the crumb will stop twitching with hands, his face will be completely relaxed, he will release the nipple from his mouth and stop snapping in his sleep. After this, gently move it into a stroller or a cot in which a warm diaper rests. You can take it back as soon as it starts to show signs of anxiety.
• Make love not in bed. If you live in a separate apartment, then it even diversifies your sex life. Feed the crumb, covering it with a blanket, wait until it falls asleep, and get out of bed carefully, as usual, when you want to finish household chores in the evening.
Do not overdo with the taboo
Many parents perceive the presence of crumbs in bed as a ban for any caresses, including non-sexual ones. And in vain. The Kid will not suffer at all from the fact that Mom and Dad embrace and tenderly touch each other. Moreover, many psychologists believe that the presence of a child in a matrimonial bed helps to form attachment. Many children love to sleep with their parents when they are afraid, to go to bed with their mother and father to "sleep" in the morning. This is a good option, especially for working parents who can not pay much attention to children. In families where a warm emotional atmosphere reigns, even grown up children lie in bed with their mother and father. Some spouses are afraid that a joint sleep with a child will irreversibly affect the sexual life, cooling the ardor between the spouses. In fact, in safe families this does not happen, and sexual activity is reduced because of fatigue, psychological problems due to the appearance of crumbs. Try to organize your life in such a way as to enjoy both roles: the parent and the spouse.