I do not want children - is this normal?

All girls from an early age get the idea that they must become mums, give birth to children, love them and educate them. Listening to such speeches, all women try to find in themselves a maternal instinct, a desire to have a family and so on. But with age, some ladies begin to understand that they absolutely do not want to have children. And because of this thought they feel defective, not like everyone else. But is it really worth worrying about? Is there something abnormal in that a woman does not want children or is this an adequate solution, in which just not everyone can admit?


Absence of the Mother's Instinct

For some reason, there is an opinion that for about 20 years, each women should sharply awaken a maternal instinct and she simply must have a lot of children. But in fact, this is completely wrong. There are a lot of women who do not like children. But most of these ladies can not admit it because of fear of the opinion of society. And this only leads to the fact that women are just beginning to subconsciously hate their children, which leads to the development of complexes in children and the emergence of problems with the psyche. Therefore, if you feel that you do not have a maternal instinct, there is nothing horrible in it. Moreover, it may appear, but much later. Maternal instinct is not a born. It can be fully obtained in the process of growing up, for example, communicating with your beloved nephew. And even if you still understand that you can love a child, but not your own, do not be afraid and consider yourself a white crow. On the contrary, you are an honest person who can admit that it is not an ideal in accordance with social standards and templates .

Ambitions

Many women do not feel the desire to have children, because in the foreground they always have a career. And this is also a strange and strange mystery. For some reason, everyone decided that only women and children could bring happiness to women. In fact, this is an imposed patriarchal affirmation, which is not supported by anything. Men and women can equally want, and do not want to have children. Also they both may wish to make a career, not to give all their strength to the family. Therefore, if you feel that you do not want to have children precisely because of the desire to become a significant person in terms of career, then in no case should you give up your dream. It is possible that when you achieve what you want, you will want to have your child. By the way, many people can declare that it may be too late and so on, but in fact, such arguments are not justified. A successful woman can always seek help from specialists and give birth to a child without even having a partner. So there is no need to be afraid of your true desires. Remember that if you do not make a career, and turn into a housewife, your relationship with your family will never be normal. You will blame them for being left without realizing your biggest dream.

Infantiness

Another reason why a woman does not want to have a baby is that she considers herself to be small. And such a feeling can be in twenty, and at twenty-five, and even in thirty years. In this there is also nothing awful and out of the ordinary. Many people want to remain children. And if this does not turn into complete irresponsibility, no one can be blamed for this and consider the person as defective. Infantiness often becomes caused by the fact that a person does not want to take on too serious a responsibility. Life, health and upbringing of children is the most serious thing a woman can do in her life. Therefore, if you feel yourself to be infantile and adequately understand that you can not cope with such responsibility, then it is really too early for you to have children. The fact is that families with infanta moms look very sad. Such women do not know what to do with their child, they constantly want to shift responsibility to someone, are irritated, angry with another child, and with themselves. Therefore, if you feel that you do not want children because you still need custody and care - this is absolutely normal. It happens so often with those women who grew up without father's love and upbringing. They are looking for the father in the men who are near and so do not grow up psychologically until they get what they need. So instead of reproaching yourself for not wanting to have children, it's better to find a man who can give you the tuffle and caress that you missed in childhood. Perhaps, after a time, your feelings will change and you will understand that a certain kind of affection and love are ready to give her to someone else.

Live for yourself

The desire to live for yourself for some reason causes a lot of people's negative perception. Although in fact, those who judge this egoism, in fact, dream about the same thing, but because of families, children and so on they can not afford it, they are terribly envious and angry. By the way, the desire to live for yourself does not arise from scratch. Most likely, since childhood you have lived as your parents desired: they studied, behaved well, did what the relatives wanted or demanded. But then comes the moment when the adult life begins, in which no one has the right and can not lead. Here in this life people start to act in their own way and finally spend time as they want. And the idea of ​​giving birth to a child immediately leads to fear - I will again be led. Such women do not want children just because they could never live at their pleasure. Therefore, if you understand that your situation is exactly this, you should not consider yourself defective and worried. Instead, do what you want: travel, communicate with friends, go to clubs, in general, do what you want. Believe me, someday the time will come when you will feel that you are satisfied with such a life. But while he does not come, it is unnecessary to force oneself to abandon the pastime that you have always desired. Moms who did not have time to live for themselves, in fact, are very unhappy. And it often happens that over the years they begin to blame their children for spoiling their lives and depriving them of all the pleasures that they could receive.

If you do not want to have children, this does not mean that you are some kind of abnormal or abnormal woman. Each person has the full right to set his priorities in life, and in different periods they are different. It is possible that the time will come when you want a child. But even if you do not feel it, do not get discouraged. So, you have just another mission in life, which is no less important than the birth of children.