If a man says that he wants me to have a child, it is necessary to understand if he can become a good father. Besides, for the beginning it is necessary to answer itself to the following question: is I ready to become a mother, do I want to have a child? Of course, every woman wants to make happy a loved one. That's just no happiness will not happen, if you yourself will feel unhappy. In women, the maternal instinct begins to manifest itself at a very different age. There are girls who are quite ready and in seventeen years to take care of the child. And there are those who at twenty-five understand that they are not yet ready to sacrifice someone for their preferences, lifestyle and free time. Indeed, the child always requires sacrifice. Of course, it's not his fault. Just a kid is a small and helpless creature that needs constant care. So tell yourself, are you ready to give him this care, to the detriment of your desires. A child is not a doll or a puppy. You can not put it on the shelf, you will not throw it away and you will not give it away. You take full responsibility for his life, his development, his fate. If you realize that you are not ready for such a responsibility, it is better never to rush. Whatever your beloved insisted, whatever he said, remember that if you take a hasty decision, you can ruin the life of yourself and the guy and the little man who comes to this world thanks to you. If a young man does not want to understand and take your decision, try to explain to him that children are not toys. And if the mother shows the least irritation to the baby, this has a very negative effect on his psyche. But the future father does not want the baby to grow up mentally and socially unstable. That's why it's better to wait a little longer and then everyone will be happy.
You should never be completed because you are not yet ready to become a mother. For each woman comes his time. If this happens, then you must still do something before you dedicate your life to the baby. The main thing is to understand this yourself and bring your position to the young man. There are just a lot of cases when children give birth to a husband, and then the family starts constant scandals and discord. Women do not stand up to their responsibilities and responsibilities, and men, in turn, resent that the mother of his child does not behave like a real mother. All this leads to the traumatized psyche of the child and divorce. Therefore, in order to avoid such stories, it is better to immediately admit to yourself and the guy or to your husband in the unwillingness to become a mother. A loving person will understand everything. Otherwise, perhaps parting will be the best option. Agree, it is better to suffer, some time to two, than to suffer all three lives.
If you still understand that you are fully ready for the duties of your mother, then think carefully about whether your boyfriend can become an ideal dad. The fact that men have a tendency to romanticize and idealize the fact that the appearance of a child. Of course, it's very cool to tell everyone that you have a son of a hero, but in fact, raising a child is much harder and harder than it can be in your man's fantasies. Of course, he himself will convince you that he will make an ideal dad, but, try to be realistic and adequately assess his capabilities. Nobody says that your boyfriend is bad and irresponsible, or does not like children. A young man can simply adore kids, play with them for days on a flight. But, can he calm the child when he cries, get up in the middle of the night month after month and help you in everything? Will your boyfriend take on a lot of household duties? Will it become a real support and protection for you and the baby? And, most importantly, will not the young man be afraid, suddenly, of responsibility? Indeed, there have often been cases when, as it were, a loving young man, after the birth of a child, changed drastically. He began to disappear with friends, to drink, to walk and not pay attention to either his wife or the baby. This is how panic manifests itself before responsibility. Simply, the young man suddenly realized that he was completely responsible for someone other than himself. And I realized that I can not always answer for myself, so how can I accept this responsibility for someone else? That's why he starts to hit hard and delay his return home. And, God forbid, that the young man nevertheless thought better of it and remembered that. That his child is loved and desired. Otherwise, it may happen that the girl will be left alone, with the baby in her arms. But you did not want such a destiny for yourself, would you agree?
We also need to adequately assess our financial situation. Can you give the child a decent life? Of course, no one talks about the golden crib and toys with diamonds, but all parents want the kid to tolerate deprivation. And, as you know, the baby has to spend very considerable sums. Every young mother can tell you about this. Therefore, think a few times before you decide to still give birth to a child from your loved one. Simply, many men can not withstand a lot of stress and break down. This can be expressed in aggression, depression and binges. In order to prevent such a tragedy in your family, try not to romanticize the birth of a child, but to take everything rationally.
Of course, it's just fine if a man says he wants me to have a baby. So, most likely, he really loves you and wants to take the most serious step in life. But, that this step does not bring pain and frustration, you need to treat it very seriously. Only if the two understand the full responsibility of the decision, then they and the baby will be the happiest.