After a painful and long process of parting, it is usually very difficult to maintain a good relationship with the ex-husband after the divorce. Especially if the cause of the separation was male treason. Women, as a rule, because of their tenderness and vulnerability, are much more difficult to survive the process of divorce. Therefore, it is much more difficult to build relationships with an ex-spouse.
The question of whether there really exist such relations with former spouses has rather controversial answers. In most cases, when building relationships with an ex-husband after a divorce, the reasons for the gap and the way people split up with each other play a huge role. For example, those couples who have lived in marriage for several years, after the divorce, there is often a crisis in the relationship.
The denouement of the crisis and the beginning of relations with the ex-spouse
For every ex-spouse it can happen in different ways. Here, first of all, it is necessary to emphasize that in the beginning, as it happens at all, people had wonderful relationships that were built on feelings and emotions. But over time people begin to focus their attention on the shortcomings of a partner. Therefore, if you need this relationship with your ex-spouse, you should take it (already as a friend) as it is. And for this you will be helped by the concentration on what was not so bad with him. Your shared memories, emotions, acquaintances are all the main foundation on which you need to build communication with your ex-spouse.
Control your emotions
A normal relationship with an ex-husband will be largely impossible if, apart from the general memories with him, you have nothing to do with anything at all. Here you can also include all the hiding grievances. Remember that at the sight of the "former" you should always have a calm, unflappable appearance, especially with regard to the situation when he appeared in the role of the initiator of the gap. You must build relationships on the general principle: "Now no one, nothing and no one should." If your ex-husband still hopes that he can come at any time and get everything you want from him (and there are also such cases), immediately cut him off. Let him clearly understand that, except as a friendly advice, and even not in every situation (you did not subscribe to the role of his psychologist), he will not get anything from you.
We keep a good impression
The main basis of this relationship with the ex-husband is periodic friendly visits to each other. This can even include the likelihood of acquaintance of their former with their current partners. In this situation, you need to understand that your "former" should clearly understand your role and the current situation in your life, and therefore, from the communication, there should always be only a positive impression. It is not necessary to continue even after the divorce reproach the man and even more so to his attempts to reproach you with something. At such moments (based on the general principle of relations with the former) immediately cut it off. Build respect for each other.
Common Children
If you have joint children left, then will is not free will, communication with the former is almost inevitable. After all, a child can not have a "former father" or an "ex-mother", for him each of the ex-spouses is a full-fledged and really existing parent. Therefore, to prohibit the communication of the former spouse with the child is still not worth it. Do not try to tune the child against his father, and with his father, in turn, you need to have a serious conversation. For example, to explain to him that he has equal rights to the child and is obliged to take an active part in his life. But immediately it should be noted that the former husband should not try to tune the child against the mother, thereby "dragging" him to his side.
Important details
It is very important to build such relationships already having a new partner. Otherwise, it will be a little sad to look at the new relationship of its former (if they already have it).
And lastly, remember that relations between ex-spouses in no case will not work if they both do not learn to apologize, control their negative emotions and keep everything that has boiled over the years of family life. Former spouses must try to always understand each other, whatever it is.