It is unlikely that there will be a woman who does not blame her husband for being lazy. It's unlikely that there will be a man who would not be indignant: "It's not enough for her ...". Why does misunderstanding arise between us? And how to act if the husband constantly speaks, but does nothing?
From the life of sprinters
Has it ever happened in your life: you and your husband spent the morning in the market, in a supermarket, or made a long walk. But when he comes home, he lies down on the sofa, and you go to the kitchen to cook dinner. Why? Are not you equally tired? No, he was tired more. The fact is that if we compare with the runners, then the man is a sprinter, and the woman is a stayer. We are more hardy. Men have more starting energy, but there are no reserves that women retain due to fat in different parts of the body.
Therefore, if the husband comes home from work and immediately lies on the couch, perhaps he really is very tired, laying out there until his last efforts. Well, let him rest ...
The errand boy
On weekends, you turn around the house like a squirrel in a wheel, and your faithful "rest". Your sporadic requests: "Take out a bucket!" "Run to the store for sour cream!" "Vacuum the apartment!" - hang in the air.
The farm is a territory, as a rule, a woman's. And they use a man only as an assistant, a runaway boy. Well, which head of the family will agree to such a non-prestigious role?
It is better, if the husband will clearly know his functions in the household. Let them be connected with technology: it's easier for him to walk around the apartment with a vacuum cleaner than to wipe dust off small objects with a cloth.
Lazy bone
Most often, women accuse men of laziness when they bring in insufficient money to the house: "Instead of asking the boss to find additional work - he constantly says that everything will be fine, but does nothing ..." If you have in the family there is such a problem, think: does your husband want to earn more?
In America there is a definition of "lazy bone": these are people who will never be forced to "move" bad conditions of life. Maybe your husband is one of those? Maybe it is quite satisfied with the standard of living that his family has? And then you are unlikely to convince him that "it is better to be rich and healthy".
But maybe your husband simply does not have an incentive to earn money? Maybe all the money that he brings, you spend on clothes or furniture at home - to which he is completely indifferent? And you also do not know how to show your joy at buying ...
Before you ask your husband to earn more money, think about how to interest him in this. Maybe he dreams of a vacation at sea? Or at the dacha where will be the master? Then let him do something for this. Then, when he gets used to a higher standard of living, you buy what you want most. And do not forget, when a husband brings money, reward him with his gratitude.
"Bring out the Christmas tree!"
There is an old anecdote: the husband is watching the May Day demonstration on TV, and his wife is "itching" nearby: "Bring out the Christmas tree! Bring a Christmas tree! "Most likely, both of these spouses had a phlegmatic temperament. Otherwise, it is unlikely that a man for four months would quietly endure calls of his faithful. And if his wife was a sanguine or a choleric, she would simply have killed the idler.
In the collision of opposing temperaments, the accusations of both sides are inevitable. Active wife all the time it seems that her phlegmatic husband is too lazy to do anything. And he is just so arranged: before he does something, he must perform this action in his mind, think whether it is possible to somehow avoid the commission, weigh all the pros and cons. But if the phlegmatic responds to a request to dig up the garden, he will shovel the whole garden.
If your husband is a "gradual" being, do not ask him to jump up and run to carry out your assignment. For him it's stress. If a husband is constantly talking, but doing nothing to try to understand - this will quickly lead to the collapse of the family. Give him time to get used to asking, get used to, get along with her.
"To spite mom!"
No matter how just your demands are, the man will not fulfill them, if they are expressed in an orderly tone. At that moment he does not even understand the words, he hears only a reproach, he feels only that he is not loved and does not appreciate. And automatically refuses to do what you ask. This is the reaction of a teenager: the more you educate me, the worse I will behave. To you to spite! Often, such wives are generally morally degraded by men: oh, you're drinking me, you're teaching life, but then I'm content if you're such a strict "mommy!"
Ask your husband for help briefly and concretely, show reasonable persistence, but do not become a commander, whose orders are carried out without reasoning. Even those little things that a man does for you, do not take for granted, thank him every time. And maybe then he will have a desire to do something more for you.