Relatives ask in a chorus: "Have you already prepared the child for the kindergarten? It's time! He needs to communicate and develop! ". Mummies of one-to-one kids vying with each other share the results of the "castings" of the surrounding kindergartens. The older comrades, who are not "first", describe in detail how to temper the child ("Although, you know, the first couple of months we did not get out of the snot"), how to teach him to sleep on the kindergarten schedule ("Well, you know my beauty" He does not want to sleep, so at least lie down during the day "). And most importantly - how to survive the very fact of "giving" the child to the children's institution ("He sobs in awe, I, of course, also a white roar, and what to do? .."). And you yourself, morally and financially preparing for an epoch-making event, continually catch yourself thinking: "Maybe we will not go ...?". Are the advantages of the children's collective irreplaceable?
Luggage storage
There is no doubt that the kindergarten is a wonderful invention of mankind, a gift for modern parents and the like. But if you turn to the original idea underlying such institutions, it becomes clear: a kindergarten is a kind of "storage room" where you can "hand over" the baby if you do not have someone to look after him at home. It was not for nothing that the gardens and nursery began to appear everywhere only after the October Revolution, when mothers and grandmothers were actively involved in the construction of a "bright future". They were just forced to give the child to a kindergarten.
Of course, staying in a kindergarten is difficult to compare with the situation of a "picture, a basket and a cardboard" in the luggage - it's much more comfortable, there are friends, classes and walks ... But sometimes on the other side of the scale - frequent illnesses and stresses of addiction, the child's conflicts with "Colleagues" or tutor, family difficulties and other reasons, because of which a particular kid may not attend a kindergarten. Will it hurt his development?
The struggle for socialization
"What about fellowship with peers?" - Loving parents are excited. We are taught from childhood that it is only in the garden that a child can get a "full" experience of communication. We'll figure it out, is it really so? Firstly, in the kindergarten the baby does not choose whom to communicate with, and with whom - no, because he spends all the time in a closed collective. Secondly, groups are formed on the basis of age. And do we only communicate with peers? Thirdly, communication to the child is necessary - but in such quantities, as in kindergarten? Alas, for the nervous system of many children this is a serious test. After all, even in an adult working day, even in a friendly team causes fatigue. Noise, the inability to retire and rest from communication, change occupation - all this can undermine the health of a baby with a vulnerable nervous system.
Supporters of kindergartens believe that here the child is forced to find a common language with peers, to assert themselves in the team. And the key word is "forced." There's nowhere to go! But do you need it specifically for your baby now? After all, children are completely different! One already in 4 years is ready to lead comrades, even in an arctic campaign. And the other only by the 6th and 7th years will show a desire to communicate with children, and forcibly spur on such a child - only to harm him.
Discipline: for and against
"What should teach kindergarten, so it's discipline!" - say "traditional" parents. And of course, they will be right. In the average kindergarten from the child require strict observance of the daily routine, obedience to the instructions of adults. But ... is it necessary to give the child to the garden for this? As a rule, under the discipline we mean "overcoming" the child himself, his desires, and often - and physiological needs. Do not want porridge? Let's "can not"! Do not want to read, do you want to run? That's all go for a walk, and you run. Do not you want to sleep? Lie, be patient. Attention, the question: is it useful for the child's health such a process of "perebaryvaniya itself" (eat when the body is not ready to eat, sit still when you want to run), not to mention the moral well-being? And the notorious authority of the educator? Is it reasonable to argue "I'm right, because I'm older!"? Perhaps it is more correct to develop in the crumb simply a sense of respect for others - but certainly not unquestioning submission, bordering on the fear of punishment? .. If you look "at the root," the almost army discipline of most Soviet kindergartens served as a general ideology for growing the "cogs" of society who are ready for humiliation and do not know how to take care of themselves, and also unquestioningly - and thoughtlessly! - obey the authority. Such people are convenient for a totalitarian society. But is it relevant now? Maybe it's better to teach the child to be organized and responsible for their actions? And do not parents, by their example, teach the child to remove toys, cover the table, cover the bed?
With the benefit of home
So, if you came to the conclusion that going to kindergarten - an event not for you, be sure to think about how to make your child develop harmoniously.
1. Communication
Many parents are frightened by the prospect of the upcoming school trip - they say, how is our child without experience of communication? But the absence of a kindergarten in the life of a child does not mean that it needs to be locked up at home alone with a mother or grandmother. Go with a crumb walk to where many children, invite guests, visit circles and sections - 1-2 hours of communication a day is enough to make your child become a full member of the children's society.
2. Intellectual development
Up to a certain (school) age the cognitive needs of the baby are quite capable of satisfying the members of the child's family. It is not necessary to plant crumbs for a small desk - it's even better if he gets knowledge and skills in games and communication. For example, when you cook dinner - is it difficult to count with a crumb of carrots and potatoes and tell what kind of flowers and shapes? If you want something "special", at your service a lot of developing activities for children from cradles to school. Here, and communication with peers and elders, and intellectual, and creative development. If your city does not have children's development centers, it does not matter! Perhaps you will cooperate with two or three mothers of preschoolers and a couple of times a week can arrange development days at home. Surely one of you knows how to play the piano and sing children's songs, the other will show how to count the sticks and apples, and grandfather or aunt has the gift in an exciting game to tell about geography or biology, teach you how to read or draw ... Although the idea of "tutoring" can be enjoyed not only by your friends, but also by students of a local teacher training college. You will see, financially it will not be depressing at all!
3. Self-esteem and self-confidence
To grow up psychologically well, your child must be sure that he is loved and capable. The fact that he spends most of his time with adults may prevent him from forming an adequate self-assessment - but only if communication is built either on the principles of the "idol of the family", hyperopeak, or on constant pressure and control (if the kid is with us we ka-ah-ah-ak educate yes ka-ah-ah-ak let's develop it!). Let the child be ... just a child! Let him do what he wants, let him develop, according to his age. Of course, home education of the baby can seem much more difficult than the usual "passed-accepted" in the kindergarten. We have to look for a lot of information about early development, take responsibility for the child, in the end - constantly defend our right not to be like everyone else ... But this is a thankful work - your efforts will bear fruit, and you will know for sure that development the child is in your hands. Of course, for many of us, parents who grew up in the Soviet Union, the idea that visiting a kindergarten is not an obligatory measure, it may seem absurd and even wild. Of course, there are wonderful kindergartens with talented and sensitive teachers. There are children who adore going to the kindergarten and are happy to spend time there. After all, there are parents who simply have no other choice but to give the child to a kindergarten ... But if you still have this choice, go ahead or not, you should do it consciously, weighing everything "for" and "against", listening to your heart and baby. And not just because you need to give the child a kindergarten.
And what about development?
An important argument in favor of kindergartens is compulsory education, the availability of special classes and so on. But if you count, it turns out that in reality, the child spends 1-3 hours a day on "lessons" in kindergarten - usually drawing, reading, music, logic / mathematics and a foreign language. And how economically justified are your costs for these classes? In a group of 15-25 children, the caregiver does not have the time, the opportunity, or often the special desire to adapt the curriculum for each particular baby.
So it turns out that it is interesting and useful to learn from such an "averaged" program that only the child will be "standard". Such a majority, but if your baby is "from the minority"? But the crumb-wunderkind, who knows how to read and write in five years, or the kid-kopushe, who needs to gather his thoughts for a long time before doing something, this "schedule" may not be suitable. So think carefully before deciding whether to give the child - with a kindergarten is sometimes worth it and wait.