Liked or girlfriends

The phone is silent - again I did not call, but promised. Already a month does not come to our Friday hen parties in your favorite cafe, but hurries after work home. Call her in the evenings - one disappointment: this crumpled hasty conversation, tension, like an athlete before the barbell of a bar. Girls say "we lost it ...". Somehow sad and insulting, although you need to rejoice - because a friend has a man ...


Wise nature, giving us the ability to love, gave us protection mechanisms against this feeling, so when a man appears on the horizon, many women subconsciously face the dilemma of determining priorities: a friend or a loved one. And now look into your heart and honestly admit to yourself - who are you closer to?

I already hear the angry: "No man is not worth breaking off with friends!". And if this is the FAVORITE and the ONLY man? That's how it was with one of my friends. As I recall, not one of our sit-downs was held without discussion of the topic, who is closer - a man or girlfriends, and Natasha, shaking her shock of fiery red hair, always furiously argued that, of course, her friends. So what?

She met her Sashka and "sang" a very different song: "Sasha said ... my Sasha ... Sasha special ... we decided ..." In general, very quickly our gatherings were left without their ideological leader, who soon ceased to participate even in the evening ringing for collecting daytime news. Like this! Human nature is inherently selfish, our deep ancient instincts often prevail, and we choose personal happiness. We will not condemn girlfriends who preferred their small world for two to a common interest. We will better understand the variety of shades of such a solution.

Girlfriends or rivals

One evening I went to my friend Nike. Quietly sitting in the kitchen and arguing about something hotly, we did not hear her mother come home. For me, Svetlana Ivanovna has always been a model of how a woman should look in her proud fifty: smart, smiling, well-groomed, with delicate taste, perfect make-up and hair. But this time it was completely broken - she had a difficult conversation with an old friend. "It looks like they broke up forever ..." Aunt Light said in a trembling voice. "We are both alone." They supported each other, helped than they could.

But for two months now, as she ignores me, she does not call, she rejects the meetings for some silly reasons. I decided to finally talk ... It turned out she had a man. I was asked not to disturb them any more - they are building a family! Do not understand why? What have I done? "Svetlana Ivanovna's friend - a woman, in principle, is good, but next to her - luxurious and blooming - just faded ...

We love our friends and cherish them, but in a secret corner of consciousness we keep the secret comparison scale of ourselves with them. Ani's legs are longer, and Vera is terrific cooking, Nadyusha is generally beautiful ... And when insecurity or the strength of the relationship with a man reaches its climax, we try to protect our happiness from the potential danger: more successful (interesting, sexual) girlfriends.

Advice to girlfriends. There is no guarantee that you yourself will not find yourself in a similar situation once. Help your girlfriend: be patient, give her time to strengthen relationships with her man, make it clear that you are sincerely happy with her happiness, and do not blame for being distanced from you. Be open to contact, but not intrusive. After a while, she will appreciate your correctness.

Council of a lover. Stop doubting yourself! You are unique! And if a man really loves, then he does not need anyone but you. Look at your girlfriends as a test of a loved one, like your ally and strict examiners. And if he is able to easily renounce you, then why do you need such a man ?!

My dear friend

Men are big children! They require constant attention to themselves and full return. They are jealous and capricious, feeling that there is someone else in their woman's life besides them. Jealousy of a loved one to girlfriends can be one of the reasons for renouncing a close-knit team of like-minded people. In addition, no matter what the men say, proudly pushing out the chest with their wheels, but each of them from time to time, fears about how an even more successful and charismatic fellow leads his only and beloved with the words "I'll give you a star!" .

No wonder that from the phrase "Darling, we have a little party with the girls. I'll be late, do not worry! "In the head of this" sweetheart "automatically switches on the mechanism of self-defense, spurred by the wild fantasy of macho-seducers. And he begins to build insidious plans how to reduce such gatherings to naught. And presses on pity, pretending to be sick, lonely, tired. Or feelings - offended. Or threateningly saying: "You have me, and you will be friends with the wives of my friends!" So it was with my friend Oksana. When she met with handsome Dima, he immediately demanded to change his friends to his company. We met on the rare days of his late meetings and then under the stamp of strict secrecy.

Not surprisingly, men of Diminsky type tend to minimize the communication between the beloved and the girlfriends, fearing the "council of the wisest." After all, he understands that all his shortcomings, emphasized by such despotic behavior, before his friends - as in the palm of your hand. And they will prove to him on one occasion that he is not so special.

Advice to girlfriends. Invite a friend and her man to a joint event with you. This will allow you to get an idea of ​​her boyfriend and better understand whether she needs help or, conversely, just such a man - powerful, strong - she needs.

Council of a lover. Try to figure out why a loved one is trying to protect you from your girlfriends. If he is afraid of their influence, then introduce him to them, and let him be convinced of their openness and benevolent attitude. He is calmer if he is acquainted with those with whom you spend hen parties.

Her Majesty Envy

Somehow at work in the ladies' room my friend Anya heard a conversation between her two best, as she thought all those years, girlfriends: "I'm just annoyed by her sugary smile when she talks to him on the phone. I do not understand what he found in Anka? Here we are with you - it's clear, and she is a mouse! ". Do I need to describe what Anja experienced at that moment?

The situation is rather rare, but probable. Renouncing from friends is not one with a man, and the girlfriends themselves - simply out of envy, because of the inability to reconcile with the fact that one of them is a little happier. This is possible if there was no real friendship between women, but simply relations built on mutual assistance, benefits or common interests.

Such rejection of a friend can also arise in the community of emancipated ladies, in which a serious relationship with a man is considered unacceptable, and a girlfriend who has changed the "code of singles" is simply expelled from the company.

Advice to girlfriends. I'm sure many people have ever caught themselves on this sticky aching feeling - envy. Of course, it's easier to destroy someone who is better than us, than to make efforts and become a little better, a little happier!

Council of a lover. For this case, I want to rephrase the well-known expression: "If the girlfriends leave you, it is not known who was lucky!". If it happened that envy has divided you with now ex-girlfriends, smile - they did not pass the test for the strength of the relationship. You have a man, and now he is your best friend.

When a man and a woman meet each other, no one and nothing around exists. A huge world for each of them is concentrated in the beloved. And if you know this condition - you can rightfully call yourself happy! Under the influence of this feeling, a person is not able to adequately assess his actions in relation to relatives, to whom he had and have certain obligations. My brother, when he met his future wife, did not call me or his parents for days. When I tried to discuss family matters with him, he looked at me with an absent look, twisted in the clouds. By the way, my future daughter-in-law behaved exactly the same: rare phone calls to parents and a full break with friends. Those, however, being wise women, understood everything and allowed the couple to enjoy their feelings, to look into the eyes and see in them a whole world.