It happens that the relations between two people seem to have no meaning, but for some reason they do not part. At the same time the guy constantly insults and humiliates the girl, does not allow her to live peacefully, to realize herself, and so on, but still does not want to let her go, but still she can talk about love. Why does this happen and what's wrong with these guys?
Teddy Bear Syndrome
Some psychologists call this the behavior of the "teddy bear" syndrome. What is the point? A man who is not at all tampered with, is compared to his favorite toy. That is, when we were young, the current had its own fictitious friend, whose role was played by his favorite toy. This friend always did what we wanted and said what we liked. He supported us and never offended. From such a friend, no one had ever expected any surprises. In fact, he was our "dream man", but in childhood we did not notice it.
Modern children grew up and many realized that friends can not be like a teddy bear. They are able to argue, express their own opinion, take offense, act not as we want. However, some people did not want to put up with this and simply shut their eyes to the situation. They convinced themselves that the "teddy bear" exists, it is just necessary to find it. In time, such a person would fall in love with someone and be reciprocated. And then he begins to make from a loved one a "teddy bear". Although, in fact, such a thinker does not like anyone but his "teddy bear". Simply, he finds somehow the most suitable qualities for the development of his "character" and begins to lean from him an ideal partner in life.
In this case, men completely do not understand how terrible and despotic they behave. The fact is that they live in a fictitious world, in which a loved one should do what he wants. For example, "teddy bear" should always wait for a loved one from work and meet him happy and joyful, he has no right to ask those questions that the guy may not like. "Teddy bear" should not be interested in anything, except for the unique and inimitable one, for which he actually lives. The "teddy bear" should not have its own worries and problems. He is obliged to create joy and comfort. Such ideals are completely unrealistic. However, the thinker does not want to admit this. He is simply afraid to leave his world, in which the "teddy bear" fulfills all his whims, since in reality there are a lot of things that will not be to his liking. Such inventors are weak and notorious people. So it turns out that such a guy constantly humiliates and insults his girl. In this he does not consider himself guilty. In his mind, the idea of exactly how a "teddy bear" should behave is so deep-rooted that any of its actions that do not fall under the standards seem to be a fabricator for bad and wrong.
If you ask such a person why he cried out angrily at his girlfriend, he always answers: "She was wrong, I had to show her how to do it right." In this case, even noticing that the person is sick and bad, he will still continue to behave the same way as before, because he sincerely believes that such experiences will go to his lady of the heart and she will no longer make mistakes. And if the "teddy bear" for some reason tossed wrong, then it should immediately teach correct behavior. Unfortunately, most of the inventors become real despots. They are so afraid of the fact that people will never live by their rules, that they begin to use even forceful methods, just to keep the "teddy bear" next to them and prevent him from acting in accordance with his own opinion and wishes. In such cases, a guy can beat a girl, and after that say: "You brought me to this before, why do you act contrary to my wishes!". Pay attention, these people always make victims of themselves. They believe that they are doing the right thing, but the "teddy bear" has completely lost control and is punished for such behavior. Often from such a man you can hear: "I do not raise my hand to other girls, I only beat you. So, it's you who are versatile and disgusting yourself, and I'm just teaching you how to do it right, but you do not want to listen to me. " But even if the girl listens, the guy will still find a reason to cling to something. The more "teddy" tries to match the ideal, the longer the list of ideal qualities becomes. Accordingly, having fulfilled one whim of the inventor, the "plush mummy" becomes guilty in three or four punctures. And so it can continue indefinitely. Independently the inventor will not calm down never. He will always think of something. A "teddy bear" will finally lose its individuality, it will have depression and nervous breakdowns. As a result, once the inventor disappointed, he said: "You are not the same as before. You're spoiled. But I'm trying to help you, you just do not listen to me at all. " And tyranny will continue.
What to do with a "teddy bear"?
If you are in the role of "teddy bear", then the only way out is to part with such a person. Of course, it can be sent to a psychologist who will work on the complexes and problems, so that a person realizes what situation has happened and how he treats his beloved. But the problem is that a very small percentage of men with such a character warehouse will agree to the help of a psychologist, and even more so realize that they are really doing something wrong. Therefore, most likely, you still have to part with the inventor, no matter how bad it may be. Remember that you can never become an ideal "teddy bear". Many girls amuse themselves with hopes and think that it is worth doing one whim and the person will stop behaving in this way. Unfortunately, the inventor himself can not change. Therefore, he will always terrorize the "teddy bear". So if you want to live a normal life, you need to immediately leave this guy and stay away from him. Otherwise, you will have to endure insults and humiliations for the rest of your life.