Good behavior of the child always pleases parents. We strive to achieve this in many ways: persuasion, punishments, encouragement. One way is to stimulate correct behavior with the help of money or their equivalents (points, magnets, stickers). How to apply this method correctly?
Controversial issue
Issues of material encouragement of children, especially in preschool age, cause controversy both among specialists and among parents. Some say that the child should obey the parents and help around the house disinterestedly, others - that with the help of a money-reward system for a child for good grades or their equivalent, the baby adapts to adulthood in time. All systems of the child's encouragement are connected, first of all, with the cultivation of the desired behavior, and already in the second place - with penalties for the undesirable. This is their strong point. The weak side is that excessive use of them can develop the child's position "not a step without encouragement." But after all it is a question of excessive use, and within reasonable limits these systems work well and allow to effectively impart the necessary norms of behavior to preschool children.
Coffee beans
Nikita, 6-year-old son of Svetlana, is a self-willed child, who is difficult to force to adhere to the accepted rules. Realizing that it's time to take action, Svetlana came up with a system of coffee beans and, together with her son, developed a list that said: "I ate everything for breakfast (lunch, dinner) - 1 grain"; "neatly did the job - 3 grains"; "I cleaned up the room - 2 grains", etc. The list was posted in a conspicuous place, and Nikita had a grain storage bank, and a list of privileges was added to which grain can be exchanged: "a hike to a children's entertainment center - 70 grains "," An additional 20 minutes of computer games - 20 grains, "etc. There was also a system of punishments:" rude to an adult - give 15 grains "," lied - 30 grains. "Svetlana soon saw the results: Nikita began to follow the rules. Mom worried about whether this would make the son uncontrollable in the absence of incentives? When it comes to the system of incentives, then, as a rule, a point system is used, which adults agree with the child.This system is recommended to be used when the child is 5 years old, because before this age the system will be too difficult for the child to understand.For each desired action, a certain amount is assigned points, and for bad behavior scores are taken away. A certain amount of points can be exchanged for privileges that are pre-determined.
What should I encourage?
Each child has his own problems in his behavior. For one, this is compliance with the regime, for the other - maintaining order in the room, etc. The list of encouraged behaviors should be written (if the child can read) or his positions should be drawn (pictures indicating the desired behavior), and there should be a few items - a maximum of five. You can make positions associated with the regime (on time and without whims, went to sleep, got up in the morning and got dressed), as well as with household duties (he neatly hung his clothes, cleaned his toys before going to bed, etc.). For a certain period, you can choose to stimulate 2-3 duties. But this does not mean that the child will be released from other duties. To encourage other cases, use praise (both private and public, expressed in other people), other encouragements ("you will help me, and then we'll go play.") This is necessary to avoid the child's formation of a "no step without points" .
Careful execution of the task (for example, preparation for school) can be encouraged, but carefully, so that the position is not fixed, "I do the lessons only for encouragement." Therefore, stimulate only one action, the most important at the moment, and periodically change these actions. forget about verbal praise, it is more important for a child than scores!
What is the incentive measure and in what quantities?
You can select any items that can indicate points:
- coffee or other large grains;
- beads of square shape, which are recommended to string on the thread;
- fridge magnets.
Important visibility and availability for recalculation. Make sure that the points earned by the child can be spent reasonably. It is necessary that for 7-10 days the child had the opportunity to exchange points for one of the big privileges and he would have points for 2-3 small ones. In this case, the system will work efficiently. The mistake is excessive bonuses when the child has the opportunity to earn points for a large promotion in 2-3 days. Also, an inadequate bonus may be a mistake, when points are scored too slowly, and the kid loses interest.
What to choose as a promotion?
Visiting together with an adult interesting places: cinemas, amusement parks, theaters and museums; buying a long-awaited toy, etc. It is recommended to include the "Surprise!" Position, the adult is thinking of some entertainment, but does not tell the child before arriving at the place.It should not be used as a promotion for chocolate and computer games.The consumption of sweets should be limited in other ways, and as for the computer, from common sense and doctor's recommendations. Be sure to invent and organize surprises, which the kid did not "earn". But in this case it is better not to offer him, then the entertainment, which he currently accumulates points (parents usually know about this). It is necessary to preserve the child's motivation.
Do we need measures of punishment?
It's up to you to decide in each case yourself - what kind of punishment deserves a misconduct. Often punishments are needed only at first, and then the child gets used to cherish what he "earned." Fine only on the items on your list, excepting very serious misconduct: lies or deliberately rude behavior.