Field research confirms that this enzyme is selectively toxic - aimed at the complete destruction of the daughter-in-law and increasing the level of conflict in the family. Of the relatively useful side effects, one can distinguish zeal in the upbringing of a flea-basted lapdog, the desire to attach to the breast a son and a manic craving for cleaning, garden work and standardization.
Thus, we shall single out the main types of the mother-in-law according to the content of the FS.
1. Ulcer . According to the content of FS this type is in the lead. Externally, it's very simple: a dry, wrinkled woman, not age-matched. Prefers dark and poisonous-screaming shades, for example, a black skirt, a gray blouse and a fiery scarlet manicure. When she passes through the courtyard, neighbors, dogs and pigeons draw in their heads. No, she will not be hysterical, calling the residents of Olympus to witness, this is not her tactic. In a quiet voice, almost in a whisper, she is capable even of Danko to bring to a heart attack. It is possible to neutralize the ulcer, but it is difficult. The direct hit of a ballistic missile is a good help, partial music is brought in partial relief, so that its hissing can not be heard.
2. The Godfather . He aspires to the levers of power and to the threads of government. Manipulation and intrigue, this is not just a hobby, it is the meaning of her life. She is a huge spider in a self-woven network of conspiracies, contracts, spoiling, gossip, speculation, fictions and outright lies. This lady plot series serials perceive not as evening entertainment, but as a guide to action. So unexpected turns in life, newfound relatives, lost pets and children, villainous dirty tricks, advice of kind fairies and the like of a nonsense are part of her life. And considerable.
3. The Matriarch . Holds the whole family with an iron hand. Gives money for beer to her husband, controls the sex life of her son and the length of her daughter's skirts, does not allow the reproduction of hamsters, and has trained fish to swim along a given trajectory. The life of the family is subject to strict order, the slightest failure of the schedule is punished by public works or hard labor. By the way, it is quite capable of screaming loudly, appealing to everyone - to the yet deafened neighbors, to justice, to the spirits of the forest, to conscience ...
4. An incurable patient . Do you know what kind of patient can not be cured? Correct, imaginary. And, if you properly play a deadly disease and introduce relatives into a state of trance, you can claim almost everything from them. An asterisk from the sky, bird's milk in a glass, divorce from an unwanted daughter-in-law ...
5. The top model for marriage . Constantly feels the need to compete with his daughter or, at worst, with his daughter-in-law. He conducts intimate conversations, mostly devoted to himself, his beloved. Like, what a beauty she was, what hair, what waist, what a small leg! Not that these modern maidens: shapeless, tasteless - ugly, in general. It is only worth looking at the daughter-in-law ...
6. Bearer of the wisdom of generations . She is the bearer of traditions, she is the honor and conscience of the tribe, she knows how to properly preserve tomatoes and cut into carrots. She perfectly stuffs the chicken, watches the right programs and reads the truly faithful newspapers. The fountain of her wisdom whips over the edge. Anyone who does not scoop up is considered an outsider and a loser.
7. Girlfriend . Very dangerous type. Anyone who can not be expelled just like that, she will kill you to death. It's very simple: advice, comments, sympathy, interference, disappointment, sincere indignation ... "She's ungrateful, and I'm with her whole heart ..."
8. Selfless hard worker . With pressed lips and a broom in her hands she cleans, washes, polishes. He always responds to offers: "No, you, do not, that I, I can not manage myself." Copes and goes, tells the whole neighborhood how she was not lucky with her daughter-in-law. And when lazy people do not, and somehow forget to clean up ...
Of course, this is an incomplete classification. In addition, the content of FS may vary depending on the season, the situation, the temperature of the air and the body.