On a Sunday morning, you turn on the TV (or radio) in the hope of getting distracted from the vital affairs, and then a stream of unpleasant, and most often stressful information collapses on you. You make coffee and call your girlfriend to chat and relax, and in response she talks about her problems and complains about her life for thirty minutes in a row, her husband, her children, the idiot-boss. You put the phone down and you realize that somehow you feel unwell. And the day outside the window is gloomy, and the children are somehow imperfect, and my husband did not indulge in gifts for a long time ... It was a good day off, and plans were there, and slept, and the sun was so invitingly shining. What happened?
We often underestimate the power of negative information and the strategy of protection against it is simply neglected. But negative information is destructive to our already emotional state, weakened by problems and everyday difficulties. Our life, in the end, takes place against a background of constant stress, against which our psyche and the whole organism are protesting. Specialists do not even recommend in a bad mood to take tests and undergo other medical research. For example, the level of hemoglobin jumps, if we are irritated, and falls if we feel lethargic. The same thing happens with the level of glucose. But most of us already know by experience that in the state of blues do not make serious purchases.
Then it turns out that they are extremely unsuccessful, since they cause negative associations. Since it is not possible to physically protect yourself from negative information and a protection strategy against it, you can choose to reframe. It sounds mysterious and solid, but this is a very simple device. The point is to find at least three positive points in any trouble. That's all the reframing. Then how much fantasy is enough. But one positive side is in any negative, namely: interpret failures as a life lesson, and this will guarantee that now you will not get into a similar situation anymore. The second positive thought that can be appealed to life: thank God that nothing worse happened! To grieve? Yes, there are more important things. In a word, at the end of such a reframing, you'll even be glad that it all happened! Well, and draw conclusions, of course!
She smiled and ... did not notice. It is very important to learn not to react to negative information from people, both acquaintances and strangers. The neighbor commented on your appearance in not the most partial expressions and your mood for the whole day went bad? If this happens quite often, then you need to work out a defense strategy. First, there is a rather serious work to be done to determine its reference group, as the psychologists say. That is, a group of people whose opinion is really important to you is important or beneficial to consider. Is your neighbor a fashionable expert? Can be an authoritative stylist? Or is it just a person you want to like? If so, then come back and ask, what's wrong with your image? Otherwise, throw it out of your head and think about something really important. Observe and decide - maybe it's worth changing attitudes toward this person?
Adjust! They say that the beginning of the case is half the battle. A positive attitude at the beginning of the solution of any problem is almost a guarantee of its successful completion. A successful student who is going to pass the exam to the "harmful" teacher, thinks: "I will make him smile, be surprised and recognize in me spontaneity, but a thinking person!"
The loser , who balances on the verge of deduction because of unsheathed tails, wanders to the institute with the thought: "He will again mock, ridicule and let me know what a jerk. Lord, what for to me such? »So draw conclusions: a negative attitude and negative information have a bad effect on a person.
Do not stand at anchor. Anchor is past failures. It is worth several times to fail or to experience negative emotions in the same type of situations, as there is a stable association with negative experiences. We sit down on the "negative anchor" and move it from its place is not possible. It is necessary to realize that further the situation itself or even only its expectation causes negative emotions, and hence the probability of failure increases. How to be? Try to simulate a similar situation, but with a beautiful, enchantingly successful ending! If so many times unlucky on this site, it is unlikely that the situation will repeat! Encourage yourself to change the circumstances, which we often absolutely undeservedly endow with such mystical power!
Unpleasant conversations
No matter how hard you try, you can not avoid them. For one reason or another, you have to deal with particularly unpleasant people with particularly unpleasant topics. At the same time, periodically listen to impartial statements. Negative information directed to you personally, carries a destructive energy, which acts on the mood, self-esteem and overall well-being. Therefore, you need to be able to protect yourself from negativity and this will help you succeed in life, be healthy and calm, and also look forward to the future with optimism. So, if you have to lead an unpleasant conversation, learn to perceive it exclusively as a working moment, nothing more. It is necessary to learn to take nothing to heart, especially negative to one's own account. And remember that any problem can be solved, and it should not affect your life negatively. Try to switch to something else more pleasant. Distract or just sleep. Sleep will be the best medicine after an unpleasant conversation.