The birth of a child is a real miracle. Happiness in the house, the long-awaited native man in his arms. But for young mothers, this is also a real test. Especially in the first months of the baby's life. What kind of attack is this postnatal fatigue - the inevitable state of any mother? Or a disease that can be treated somehow? We asked - we answer.
Blues kid.
Our son is a month, he constantly cries at night, falls asleep only on his hands. I'm flung from my feet, I'm constantly sobbing, I "let the dogs down", I can not look at the child from time to time. And I only dream of one thing: to sleep!
Every fifth mother after childbirth starts one of the post-partum crises - "baby-blues". The reason for it - in a sharp, literally overnight, changes in the hormonal status. Decreased levels of progesterone and estrogen causes fears, depression and depression, adrenaline deficiency leads to a sudden decline in strength. Lack of sleep, new unaccustomed duties, the formation of lactation aggravate the nervous state. A woman may not like what is happening, but she can not cope with the situation herself - she needs help from her relatives. "Convince" the baby mom, husband, girlfriends - and spend precious minutes of freedom on a dream. Do not rush things: for recovery after childbirth it takes 6-8 weeks, but if pregnancy and childbirth were complicated, this period is not enough.
Do not hesitate to contact a gynecologist. The cause of postpartum depression is not "in the head", but in the hormones, and therefore it is treated not with psychotherapy sessions, but with the use of medications permitted during breastfeeding. Remember that after birth, the mother and child continue to maintain a close relationship. Mom's nervousness and fatigue can not but affect the baby: he becomes anxious, breaks down into a cry, even if nothing disturbs him. No matter how difficult, the baby needs to be treated calmly, and the process of mutual addiction will go faster.
Mother perfect.
Before pregnancy, I was obsessed with a career, and with the birth of my daughter decided that I would be the best mother in the world. The oldest daughter is 2.5, my son is six months old. I have wonderful children, but I myself turned into a tattered housewife. Children dressed, fed, washed? And all right. Play with them, read them books already no strength. I already forgot when I was going somewhere beyond the playground.
The birth of a child for a woman is a psychological crisis, akin to a teenager by gravity. On the young mother is poured the realization that her habits, her personal freedom, her professional plans are pushed to the background. Perfectionist, a woman accustomed to the fact that she is the first in everything, even more difficult: deciding to be "the best mother in the world", she strives for an obviously unattainable ideal. There are no perfect mothers, but every mother gives her child something that is good enough for him. Your shoulders immediately got a lot of worries, and you need to reconsider priorities: first the children, then you, and only the third place is the house and the needs of the household. In some women, only the feeling of unwanted "domestication" can cause a decline in strength. Such mothers are recommended to go to work as soon as possible. The change in the type of activity will distract from sad thoughts and will serve as a detente. And the need to be in public makes you keep yourself in good shape and watch yourself. First it is better not to go out for a full day. Children need to communicate with you, and you need time to get used to a new rhythm of life.
Criticism of pure reason.
My husband came home from work and lay down on the sofa: he, you see, worked all day and was tired. And I, therefore, are not tired of working around the clock with a baby all day and still have time to cook dinner for him! And he also reproaches me: they say, I launched myself. And when I do myself, if sometimes I do not even have to go to the toilet?
Such an attitude on the part of relatives is unacceptable, but even it should not become an excuse to tear into tears or respond with rudeness to rudeness. Without unnecessary noise, let me know that you do not like such statements in your address. Try to cheat. Under a plausible pretext (for example, a visit to a doctor) leave the husband alone with the child for at least a few hours. It is not excluded that now he will first think about how difficult it is to keep track of the crumbs. The man after the birth of the baby is also stressed: a couple of months ago he was the object of your adoration, and now all your attention is focused on the child. Perhaps gross behavior is a defensive reaction, a subconscious attempt to "force out an opponent" from its own territory. If there is a desire and hope to regain former close relations, do not skimp on yourself with kind words and lull his jealousy with affection.
Scientific organization of labor.
My daughter is calm, gives me a sleep, I can entertain myself. But the shaft of homework exhausts me. What can I do to save time and energy?
Try to delegate some of the concerns to "mechanical assistants". The limit of dreams is that all household units are programmable and work with a minimum of your participation. Cook "wholesale" and store for future use. Batch freeze in the freezer vegetables, meat and broth (using, for example, ice molds). The disorder creates unnecessary things, so as much as possible free them from the apartment. Do not feel sorry for curtains, carpets and fluffy toys, because you have to vacuum them. For constantly multiplying children's things, start boxes with lids: first, their contents do not accumulate, secondly, with them, cleaning will require only shoving things into appropriate containers. In a separate box, add up small things, the fate of which you can not yet decide. Return to this box once a week and sort its contents. If the child is very small, some of the cases can be performed with him in his arms. And then it can be connected to household chores: children consider them a fun game and willingly participate in them. Watering flowers, wiping the dust on the strength of even a 1.5-year-old baby. The main thing is do not make the kid do anything, but give help for the game. You immediately noticeably easier.