After a new member of the family appears in the house, naturally, a lot of worries and troubles are added, and the sexual desire for some reason is reduced. For men, abstinence is rather forced, and for women, the absence of sexual attraction may even be completely unexpected. And, of course, it is the woman who is tormented by the question: "Why after sex does not want sex and what can I do about it?"
First you need to understand why this happens.
Physiological factors.
Determine the sexual response of human hormones. Prolactinum - this hormone is actively produced during pregnancy and during breastfeeding. He also suppresses ovulation, without which conception is impossible. A sexual attraction and the possibility of conception are closely related.
Prolonged breastfeeding. Many mothers breast-feed for more than a year or until the baby himself stops taking the breast. Therefore, the restoration of the habitual reproductive function can be delayed.
Lactation. After giving birth, the breast often increases, painful seals can form, fever may keep, nipples become covered with cracks. With this you need to cope and sex moves to the background, if not the third.
Injuries to the genital organs. Without them, almost no one can do, even with the use of the latest modern technology.
Changes in the shape. Few women quickly come to form after giving birth. The rest, who could not get rid of excess weight, very often experience discomfort from this, and may even begin to feel embarrassed about themselves naked.
General fatigue. A lot of new worries and responsibilities, responsibility and an unusual daily routine - all this also reduces the attraction.
Proceeding from the above mentioned, why after the birth does not want sex, there are enough physiological factors that can cause a lack of attraction. But they will disappear, as soon as the body starts to return to normal, the child will grow up and everything will gradually get used to the new way of life. Psychological same causes can be restored much longer.
Psychological factors.
Postpartum depression. A condition in which general oppression and a lack of taste for life is formed. First of all, this is due to a sharp exit from the state of pregnancy. Also postpartum depression has a hormonal nature. The duration of such a state can be different. But the gradual entering into the familiar life, returns and the taste for life itself. A woman in this state, as a rule, closes in herself, and sex interests her in the last place.
Postpartum depression in men. Young fathers can perceive their child as something alien, because he takes all the attention of a woman. Some have unquestionable doubts about whether or not he really is the father of a child. They react very aggressively to requests for help and children's crying, they blame that now he needs to work more to provide for the family. This further exacerbates the condition of the young mother and, as a result, kills sexual attraction to the man.
Domination of the child in the mind of the mother . Someone is convinced that there can not be a bust. But it is not always the case. Maternal instinct, in the blood of every woman and mother - this is the most necessary and the main person for the baby. But when the baby begins to mature, the need for maternal attention decreases. Many women can not even imagine how a child will be without it - will stay with someone from relatives during the day, at night or on the weekend. There are children who need society all the time and they do not want and do not like to spend even a minute alone without the attention of an adult, doing their own things independently. Such children completely absorb maternal attention. All these facts leave no room for sexual attraction.
Isolation from the usual past life . Some women work almost until the very birth and try to lead a very active lifestyle. But since the birth of the child, they are mostly surrounded only by home walls and relatives. Communication with the outside world is limited to going to the store or walking with the baby. Such a revolution in life, anyone will be depressed. And this, in turn, is a bad incentive for sex.
All of the above are the most typical psychological and physiological factors of a situation when one does not want sex. But from any unfavorable situation you need to look for a way out.
What to do if you do not want sex? First, you need to calm down - and this is the most important thing in this situation. Irritation only increases tension in a relationship. Perhaps it's worth to just relax and let it go.
If possible, you need to reduce the load, and for this use the progress. Do not torture yourself, following the advice of good people: "that all modern is harmful" - these are arguments for those who do not sit with the child. Baby monitors, diapers, washing machines, disposable diapers, microwaves, powder for children, balanced mixtures, comfortable mops, washing vacuum cleaners are indispensable helpers in the household and child care.
Try to trust your relatives, even if you disagree with them in matters of upbringing, but they can perfectly help you if you ask them about it. Drop your fears for the child - it's just the consequences of the instinct of motherhood.
If possible, you need to get enough sleep, since sleep well restores strength. Go to bed during the day, along with the baby.
Take care of yourself. The child loves you and the way you are. But for you it is necessary, even if there is no desire. A good appearance will return a good mood. This also applies to your favorite hobbies, you do not need to deprive yourself, even for the sake of the child.
You can try talking to your husband and explaining what is happening to you, but only if you yourself know exactly what is going on.
In general, we need to seek an individual solution to the current situation. And it is always there!