According to psychologists, crystal honesty can damage relationships and marriage. Of course, this does not mean that you need to lie to your partner to save them. But excessive frankness: "He is my half, so I can talk to him about everything!" - it is better to avoid as much as deception.
Especially it is necessary to be attentive in the following questions.
Often you can hear the words of men: "This woman is like a book I read." I'm not interested in reading it further. Yes, indeed, the scourge of the beautiful half is excessive trustfulness and frankness. The warning of psychologists: you can not tell your beloved "all-all", it can just disappoint a man. Outward frankness can destroy a relationship even faster than a lie.
Another scourge for lynching relationships is the lady's desire to show off her new companion relationship with a former admirer, or mention the signs of attention and compliments that she is honored by her co-worker. Caution for men: do not ask your girlfriend life questions about her past! If the faithful with patient perseverance asks, "how much did you have before me?", Stay away from details and do not give in to provocation! It is better to ask why he is interested? After all, you are currently with him! Also, you try not to ask him questions about his love affairs before your meeting.
True, here psychologists allow one thing: lovers should tell each other about important relationships for them, whether it's marriage or just a serious long-lasting romance. Why is it important? Thus, you can better know the partner: what can be important to him, and what is unacceptable and unacceptable. But if in the course of the "confession" you want to draw conclusions like: "you yourself let her manipulate you", then it's better not to say them out loud. In the future, your partner can no longer show confidence in the conversation and will be on the alert, just do not want to share anything with you.
Another important point is the relationship with his mother. Do not say that you do not like her. Jealousy between the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law is a frequent and, to some extent, natural phenomenon, it can not please your companion, because he will be torn between two fires. Asked about your attitude to his mother, you can answer something like: "I am very grateful to her for the fact that she raised such a wonderful son!" - this will be enough. After all, you would also not like it if he began to speak poorly of your loved ones? Remember and reconcile with the idea that the mother for most men is a man of utmost importance!
If you start to have doubts, that your relationship has a future, i.e. simply, you are thinking about parting - do not rush to inform the partner about it. Suppose that after a small, in your opinion, quarrel, the husband says: "Honey, I was thinking, maybe it's time for us to divorce ...?" With ease, a thrown phrase can give rise to an end. Therefore, it is better to first formulate specific claims, draw up their list, and maximally tactfully invite the partner to discuss the problems stated. It may well be that "insoluble", at first glance, the contradictions can be easily solved.
But what psychologists advise not to withhold:
Health status.
If the relationship acquires the status of long-term, your partner has the right to be aware of your illnesses. Especially if they somehow can influence your future life together.
Desire to have children.
This question is discussed long before you decide to marry. For some people, the presence of children in the family is mandatory, for others only a loved one can be enough. If you have problems with conception, or you do not want to have children for any reason, your partner should know about it in advance. In the same way as the desire immediately after the wedding to acquire offspring.
Past or present problems with the law.
You have been judged, or you know that you may be convicted - a loving person is not difficult to understand and accept these unpleasant facts of your life. But if he finds out about it, when he has already married, your recognition will be regarded as a deception and betrayal, which is very difficult to forgive.
Age, education and other "personal data".
Do not pretend to be a graduate of Harvard , if you left the fourth year of the provincial institute. If you can not admit that you do not have enough education, or try to hide your age, ask yourself - why? Do you think that you will cease to love the uneducated, or because the age is more for five years? Or maybe your new lover has too high demands?
Your level of income, debt, obligation.
The budget of your future family and standard of living would be better planned before you combine your capital in order to have an idea of what you can expect. If at the beginning of a joint life the budget is to be saved, it is better not to try to cause the partner the illusion that he will be "in chocolate" - disappointment can spoil the whole impression.