When a person is incredulous and timid, easily frightened, feels uncomfortable, experiences any difficulties in communicating with the surrounding people, he is said to be shy. To understand the origin of this word is not at all difficult. So what is shyness and how to deal with it? Surely, many people ask this question, but coping with this problem can be quite difficult.
Behavior of shy people
Often, shy people are very afraid of someone else's opinion. They constantly think that this is the worst thing when you do not like someone, cause disapproval of someone, discontent or ridicule. Such people, as a rule, can not afford to be in the center of attention, they are afraid to express their opinion or defend their rights. They try to avoid any situations in which to make decisions, openly speak and make decisions. Because of this, most of the shy people are afraid to act and therefore do not achieve any success in life. Such people can not get acquainted with some new strangers, are afraid of communication, take up any new business in order not to fail.
Shyness is harmful to humans
Very often a person is embarrassed and worried about what they think about him, about his behavior. However, all this works only against him. It rarely happens that people around adequately assess all the talents and abilities of a person, often the opposite, and then the person loses all the clarity of his thinking. In such situations, any negative and unpleasant sensations appear very quickly, anxiety, excitement, and depression appear. All this happens to shy people.
With shyness, fighting is simply necessary. This problem is common in people quite often. But for everyone this manifests itself in different ways, sometimes a person may have a pulse, he loses his temper, lowers his eyes, can not speak and trembles.
Causes of Shyness
We all know that young children are very cheerful and sociable. They like to be in the spotlight, openly expressing their opinions. And it becomes unclear where all the sociability and boyishness disappears with the years. The specialists on this account have many assumptions and theories. Many are convinced that shyness is innate, and some believe that shyness appears throughout life, as a reaction to any unpleasant events that occurred earlier. After all, each person has a negative life experience, which is associated with different life situations. It can be a psychological disorder, or if a person has suffered a great failure in communication, all this is enough to make shyness fixed in the mind of a person. It can arise even when a person has absolutely no experience of communicating with people, communication skills, and very worried about how his actions will be appreciated by other people who surround him. It is at such moments that a person begins to humiliate himself and consider himself unnecessary and incapable.
According to psychoanalysts, shyness appears due to any internal conflicts. It happens that in order for a child to become shy, it is enough for parents to speak with him about it. Very often parents tell their child that he is shy, this also applies to caregivers in the kindergarten. When the child grows up, he begins to compare himself with peers.
How to deal with shyness
Cope with shyness is possible. But in order to fight it, you should find out the exact cause of its occurrence. Sometimes a person misunderstands how people around him are treated. He starts to think that he is condemned or disliked, but he is not very surprised, because he already thinks himself much worse than everyone else, so the unfavorable outcome of it does not surprise.
Often, all the worst and anticipated expectations come true. The people surrounding such people start to consider them as losers, give them nicknames and try to program it on problems of a different kind. You can get rid of shyness if you put a lot of effort into it. With shyness you can fight in many ways, you need to learn how to communicate with absolutely different people to feel relaxed and free in any situation. Take for yourself the decision to change your life, you can even turn to a psychologist for help, it will do you good.
You should understand for yourself that it's very foolish to worry and worry about what other people think about you. And besides, people who have a good attitude toward you, evaluate you only by your qualities, and not by external signs.
Try to always think positively, especially if you often think about people around you. Even if people disagree with you, or have absolutely the opposite point of view, do not despair, and this does not mean that they are trying to condemn you. You need to learn how to communicate, even if it's difficult, force yourself. Often smile to people, try to be friendly and affable.
Do not judge yourself strictly, try to wake up a sense of humor. Do not scold yourself, if you said something wrong, be yourself and continue to talk in the same spirit.
In order to achieve some goals, they must be meaningful to you, otherwise the desire to achieve them will simply disappear.