Which of us does not have a girlfriend who starts a new romance, forgets about everyone around, completely immersed in a new relationship and in his next boyfriend. Then, some time later, she suddenly remembers your phone number, and day after day for hours she stuffs your head with information about what he really was, selfish and cynical, how he ignored it and did not react as needed this. You, as a truly loyal friend, listen to all this, not reminding her of the fact that she did not remember very much about your existence some time ago. After all, you understand everything, men come, and women's friendship and solidarity are much more important and lasting.
If you consider all of the above, you start to wonder why the situation is repeated not only with our friends, but also with us. And why we do not change anything in our relations, since there are so many reasons for complaints? Perhaps the reason is that we just love that we sometimes regret it. Then why do we love ourselves so much? And how to get rid of this bad habit?
1. This allows us to feel like a little girl again
Many, being children, used this method. A little puffing, in return received support and affection. Growing up, sometimes we want everything to be just like before, so that you can make a melancholy grimace, get on your knees to your beloved mother, who will always regret and do it. But it is worth considering that such habits and desires can not be fraught with the best consequences for the relationship. If initially your partner and agree to see in you a little girl who sometimes needs to be pampered, eventually he will want you to grow up.
2. This gives us the opportunity to suffer, without doing anything
We will not say that this explanation indicates a positive perception of external factors. Everyone in life has situations in which he wants to feel weak, knowing that there is someone nearby who will help. But if the feeling of self-pity is regular, nothing good can carry it. Such feelings will not help you cope with a complex situation, they just exacerbate it. From all of the above, there is only one conclusion that self-pity has the right to exist, if it is immemorial, and does not leave unnecessary consequences behind itself.
3. This allows you to take responsibility
After all, how much easier it is to blame the entire white light in your problems, and not see your own shortcomings at all.
4. This is an excellent occasion to get emotional support from friends
Everyone chooses his own way to get emotional support from others, someone likes to get praise for his achievements, he likes to be pitied.
How can you eradicate this, not the best habit?
1. Become a friend
Almost in every women's magazine you can find an article on the topic "love yourself", in which there are many, but there are no specific and clear recommendations how to do it. If you address this question to professionals, they will advise you to find out the reasons that cause you to become self-reliant, after finding which, they will advise you to soberly look at the situation and appreciate how important it is to you. The main thing in the struggle for itself to learn to find hidden opportunities to overcome all difficulties, to particularly effective results will help to bring the presence of a person who will not spare you, and support and guide you in the right direction.
2. A decisive step forward is the result of a good kick in the ass
Here the main thing is to find the right "pusher", and this is not a simple matter. In this case, the main thing is to know the measure, because excessive pressure, most likely, will aggravate the situation and the process of self-pity, will grow into a state of "eternal failure". Here the main skill of the assistant is to make you a decisive step forward, competently combine pressure with encouragement. With time, when you get into the taste, learn how to do without outside help, and start pushing yourself to the baptismal actions.
3. Praise yourself for the small
In our country somehow it is not very common to educate children that they can have occasions for praise addressed to oneself. Growing up and becoming mature, we often do not pay attention to our own achievements, albeit not particularly significant on an ecumenical scale. However, if you learn to distinguish yourself even a small fraction of attention from day to day, life at once seems to you better and more pleasantly.