The crisis of 3 years of age has a clear physiological explanation. It was at this time that the brain hemispheres were reorganized. The right and left hemispheres begin to work differently, as in adults. It is also the period of separation of the child from the adult. You can even call it the time of the development of a child's personality. Just yesterday, our baby was so defenseless and dependent, could not stay without a mother and a couple of hours and considered himself a single whole with her. He said about himself: "Kirill will walk. Kirill will eat. " But now he has grown up and is aware of himself as a separate person: "I will, I want, I will go." But he knows how to do it so far only in the form of a scream, for this period there are absolutely clear symptoms that parents need to know in order to be on the alert.
Excessive desire karapuza to independence . "I myself!" Is his answer to any question, now he wants to do everything and decide only himself. Often, moms and dads do not allow the realization of the desire for independence to do anything for him, and they force the child to show self-will for any reason and even without it.
Depreciation of what he once cherished and that the baby loved. It can be aimed at anything - people, cartoons, books, toys. The child begins to break his precious cars or dolls, tear books and fight in the sandbox with a best friend. It happens that the child starts to offend even mom and dad. In fact, there is no one who is more expensive than the parents for a baby, and he does not want a bad one. He himself suffers from his behavior, but is forced to prove his position.
It occurs, as a rule, in those families where the child is brought up alone or the children have a big age difference . The Kid tries to assert its power over everyone who surrounds it, and dictates its rules.
He constantly distributes valuable orders - who, what to do, and to whom that is forbidden. If there are other children in the family, jealousy may or may become severe.
And if adults do not want to support and understand the child, recognizing for him the right to independence, a real revolution may come.
How to survive?
If you find out in your baby all or many manifestations of the crisis, do not be scared. All children go through this. Having found out the reasons, the parents ask themselves the question: "What is to be done with this obstinate crumb?"
Do you want to paint your dictator on the wall? You are welcome! Attach a sheet of paper to the door or to the refrigerator. Wants to wash your things? Why not - pour in a small basin of warm water and give a pair of handkerchiefs. Let him work! Control not the actions of the child, but the safety of the space around it - so as not to try to get into boiling water so that there is not a knife next to it. Of course, sometimes it seems to us that children overdo it and try to do everything themselves, but at the same time they are completely helpless. Parents start to get angry, which is understandable and understandable. However, such emotions must be suppressed in oneself and try to be patient. Do not shout or play a trick on the child, and all the more - constantly correct it. Thus, you suppress his initiative in the bud. Later, when he becomes lazy and completely uninformed with such behavior, it will be too late.
If you feel that you are boiling and do not have the strength to hold back, go to another room, turn on the music. On the street, leave the crowded place and firmly tell the child that his behavior upsets you and upsets you. And you continue to walk with him or play only when he calms down and ceases to behave like this.
Do not communicate with the child in an orderly tone and begin to be interested in his wishes. Let the kid make a choice in unprincipled things - which shirt to put on or which cartoon to include, from which cup to drink juice and where to sit at the table. If the question arises about things that do not tolerate choice (to drink or not to drink medicine), then it is necessary to justify why this is so, and not otherwise. Do not put pressure only authority - my mother said the point! You need a medicine to get better and go for a walk.
When a kid does not succeed or is not given freedom, he begins to get angry. And how is the anger of the crumbs manifested? He bites, fights, offends the small and weak. We blame the kid for this, but do not! Anger should be redirected so that it does not harm others. Let the kid bang his fist on the chair, let him tear the newspaper or throw a stone in the river, let him scream. The main thing is to give vent to emotions and not to shame him for it.
Whenever the baby rolls up the concert, you should talk to him. But not at the moment when the crumb roars like the turbines of an airplane, and tears flow into three streams, and when emotions come to naught, and he comes to you for affection and consolation. Explain to the kid that he upset you that it's not necessary to behave this way. What did you do, because it was necessary ... Show the crumb that you treat him like a person.
Despite all the frills , these are ours with you kids, so beloved and dear, the best in the whole world. Constantly talk about it with them, praise them. Discuss the past day, focusing on achievements and good deeds. Do not succumb to provocation, when the crumb declares: "You are bad, I do not love you!"