How often does our relationship with a loved one deteriorate because of treason ... And what is actually loyalty, betrayal, trust in the relationship? I must make a reservation in advance that I express solely my point of view on this issue, perfectly aware that a completely different interpretation of the question of loyalty, betrayal and trust in relations is widespread in the society.
In my deep belief, there is no betrayal at all - there is either loyalty to each other, joint goals and plans for the future - it is they that determine the confidence in the pair and the stability in the relationship. Betrayal - this is exactly what happens in family relationships quite often, and you can never put an equal sign between betrayal and betrayal, these are completely different things.
What is usually considered treason?
A trip to the left of one of the spouses or members of a paired union. More often they talk about the betrayal of men, whereas women also go in the same direction, only much less often. At least because a woman who works and has, besides her husband, also one or two children, there is simply no time for it
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So, even with a strong desire to physically implement this "atrocity" will not succeed. So the question arises whether it is faithfulness or lack of opportunity to commit an act of betrayal, and what kind of trust in a relationship can there be if a woman is merely "harnessed" into a yoke and pulls life?
A married man is always more mobile and more free. Go to any dating site - there is an impression that there are more married men registered than looking for their soul mate. Why??? If married men there are looking for exclusively sex, it means that they do not have sex in marital relations. What is most interesting, matrimonial experience can be from zero to infinity.
What explains the "zhenatiki" such dissatisfaction? "A wife does not know how or does not want to do this or that ... She is very busy ... We have different temperaments ... There's no sex with wife ... Wife is bread, but you want a bun sometimes ..."
I assure you, every married woman can make a whole list of sex flaws with her husband, which, in fact, is not a reason to seek satisfaction of their needs on the side. Investigating the experience of family relationships between your friends and acquaintances, you come to the conclusion that a married woman is capable of sex with another man (I'm not saying adultery), in exceptional cases.
Immorality versus restriction of opportunities
Any relationship, whether legal marriage or civil, or not yet marriage, and so ... implies limiting the freedom of everyone entering the union. And if we assume that every person can be happy, only being free, it would be better for everyone if there were no restrictions on freedom in paired unions.No, it's not immoral. It is immoral to suspect your loved ones and bring their brains to their jealousy and make them lie and justify themselves. It is also immoral to deprive one's half of sex for some offense, or as a result of a scandal that does not involve an intimate relationship. Yes, back to the fact that the betrayal in principle, can not be.
Not all family unions are based on love, it may not be original, it can pass with time ... What kind of treason then can we talk about? Sex on the side is just sex on the side. And if you have feelings, then sex on the side - this is also not treason, it's just sex, because you do not have to confuse love and sex.
To understand a loved one ...
It is necessary to try to understand your beloved (beloved). One person can not satisfy all the needs of another, though a loved one. Therefore, you do not need to "feed" your loved one, let the person have the opportunity to satisfy his needs to the maximum, then he will feel better, and this will have a positive impact on your relationship. Only in everything there should be equality, that is, freedom should be available to both.
This is difficult to understand and accept. But, when you can apply it in your life, you will immediately feel happier. Do not torture yourself and your loved one with jealousy, because jealousy is not a manifestation of love. A loved one is not your property, he is given to you so that you enjoy that he is near you.
You can see it, hear it, breathe it with one air! This is happiness! So do not spoil your happiness with jealousy. Jealousy destroys relationships and kills feelings. Take care of your feelings and feelings of your loved ones, trust them, do not test them, do not suspect anything. Think about how your life will change if you stop loving this person, and if you kill yourself, will you be happier?
Living in a marriage without love is hard, and it usually does not end well. If relationships are important to your loved ones, repeat like a prayer: "I am only interested in my relationship with my beloved person, and not in his relationship with someone else, because for me there is nothing more important and more expensive than this relationship. And I will never spoil them with my suspicions, because jealousy is a manifestation of a sense of ownership, not of love.
"If I'm jealous, then I do not like."
This is difficult to learn, but, having learned, you will feel incredible ease. Even if only one person from the union reaches such heights, relations will become stronger and more durable. Another thing, if these feelings are not ...