An ordinary child, when she is with her mother in the stomach, spends the first periods of her life all alone, unlike the twins who are in close tandem with each other. And this fact explains in many respects their amazing affection at the level of "kindred souls".
Because of such close contact, twins can feel their soul mate at a distance or worried when they do not see each other for a long time. Since their birth, they see themselves as one and not divisible! But at the same time, even before the birth, they begin to fight for leadership. And already in the belly of my mother, one of them will inevitably "conquer" a large territory. And it is he who will become the leader and will appear, albeit for a few minutes, but before his twin. It is interesting that, although they are an indivisible organism, their rivalry will always be on any, even the slightest occasion.
How correctly: "I" or "We"?
When there are twin twins in the family, the parents immediately trigger a well-known stereotype: the kids should be the same in everything. Equally dressed and combed, the same toys and other trifles. That is, parents intentionally make their beloved toddlers identical. The same with attention. If you play or chat, then with both, so that portions of attention are balanced. Therefore it is not surprising that with such tactics of the education of twins, at the earliest age, kids realize their own "I" is more difficult than other children. The concept of "We" is formed much earlier and faster than the concept of one's own ego. Twin children since childhood perceive the increased attention of people as a matter of course, knowing in advance that their similarity is the main source of attractiveness.
So what's the difference?
The similarity of twins not only touches everyone around, but it can also affect the mental development of children, especially if they do not have other brothers and sisters. They can develop the habit of instinctively "hiding" one after another, for their similarity, if they are perceived only as a nice couple of identical kids. In the end, this similarity will be their main virtue, which they can always use, and which is always with them.
And in some cases, twins can build their own personal microcosm, a small universe that no one, even their parents, will want to let in, preferring to communicate only with each other, because they are so comfortable. In this way they can hide from everyone who surrounds them, and focus on each other. Often, twins, albeit unconsciously, invent their own language, understandable only to them, why parents can begin to worry for their children. So how do you prevent such "emigration" in the family?
In fact, everything is simple! There are some features of the education of twins, which is enough to adhere to.
First , emphasize the uniqueness in kids! Since the birth, try to dress and brush them differently. (For example, Masha tails, Olya has pigtails, Vanya has a blue cap, Petya has a green one). It is important to remember that any child needs a personal space, and it does not matter if he has a twin or not. Let everyone have their own toys, books, dishes, cots, etc. Also, individual photos of children help in building their own "I". Let everyone have their own personal photo album, where they can put their favorite pictures.
Secondly , spend time not only together, but also find the opportunity for classes and games with each twin separately, beginning with early childhood. After all, the baby needs to feel the attention of mom and dad, concentrated only on him alone. Nothing bad will happen if the pope goes to walk with Masha in the park, and my mother will take Olga to walk to the river. On the contrary, when they come home, they will be able to share their impressions of walks with each other. Being separately, the kids will be able to get acquainted and find a common language with other children, and realize that there are other equally interesting guys with whom you can play fun, like with a brother or sister.
Thirdly , let's have the right to choose each of the twins: what toys to buy, what fruits to eat, how to read a book. Even the most insignificant choice will teach the baby to make decisions and understand his own desires.
At once it is necessary to say that it's okay to let them play by themselves, or to feed them, by sitting next to them, no. Given the features of the twins, they are still very close. But you should accustom yourself, and them, that they are individual. When one child needs more impressions and as often as possible, the second receives them automatically, for the company. Therefore, the second has the danger of overexcitation. Or, for example, if one twin is more tired than usual ("got up on the wrong foot", over-responded, responds to weather changes, etc.), one needs to put him to bed earlier, shake hands and calm him. Mom twins, no doubt, will have to be twice as attentive, loyal and inventive!
Who is the leader?
Two, then the team already! And the relations in it are built special, which originated before birth. Usually in a pair of twins leadership qualities are possessed by the first-born kid, and the second plays the role of the slave. Leader leads his brother or sister, provoking all sorts of pranks, or the first begins to find out the relationship. In such an alliance, the driven twin usually does not resist such a role and agrees to all the leader's proposals. But parents should intervene if this situation becomes the norm. For example, when performing a task, the slave should be placed as the main task. Let the twins wash the dishes together, but the resulting twin will report on the work done before you.
It is much more difficult to cope with the twins-leaders. There is such an alliance! In such a tandem, each of the kids wants to dominate, and therefore the battle for leadership is an ordinary story in such families. But such an incredible alliance can bring peace and tranquility. One of the solutions is a contractual tactic. To avoid conflict, let the parents appoint the principal, but with the condition that next time the main will be the second. The order should be strictly observed, so that there will be no squabbles and disagreements between the twins. And if your twins independently give each other the right to lead, without graphs and skirmishes, the most important thing is to support such democracy in their union by their non-interference in their relations.