As a rule, such men - very responsible people, "family", "father's duty", "love of children" - for them this is not an empty phrase. How did it happen that they were left alone with their children? Wife or died, or just left, or was in the deprivation places are free - the most common reasons. And in this difficult period for them on the shoulders of strong men are the issues of raising children by fathers-singles.
Psychologists recommend to these men several rules that will help them to transfer the loss more easily and become closer to their child and thus avoid the problems of raising children by fathers-singles and get out of the crisis situation.
It is necessary to change the view of the situation that has already occurred, which can not be corrected. We must accept this as inevitable and try to relax, however difficult it may be. From the fact that a man is tense, everything will only get worse, and he will rather "burn" or break down, and it will be better for no one.
The child is the person closest to such people. If possible, we should spend more time with him, take him in his arms, nurse, listen to his stories that have happened over the day, watch him learn new and grow. We must try not to perceive what happened as a heavy burdensome work, the raising of children by fathers alone, now it will become a part of their life.
A child needs to be given a lot of strength and attention, but this does not require supernatural efforts - just as much as a person can give. Do not try to become a "super-person". It must be remembered that "the best is the enemy of the good", as it turns out - so it's good.
The fact that women are the best parents, educators and housewives is a stereotype. They, too, come to life, not being able to do anything, but they gradually develop a life experience. So a man has every chance to become an excellent parent, if he is full of responsibility, and he is not too afraid of the problem of raising children on his own. Where the women with the child are too soft, the man will be more strict - just do not bend the stick, because for the child and so much stress that he was left without a mother, his life will not suffice her affection.
Whatever one may say, the child eventually has a question: "Where is our mother?" What can I say to this? If the problems of raising children can still be solved, then how to answer this question? First of all: all the resentment of a woman left must be kept within. A child does not need an additional psychological trauma. "No Mom" - so it's best not to talk. It is better to say "Mom left" or "Mom died" (if the child is very small). With a more grown-up child, you can see the photo albums on which she is - so it will be better, in the long run, for everyone. In the kindergarten, all the same, other children will ask this question, it is better that the child receives information from the father than from the other children.
The child may get scared - "if Mom is gone, then Dad can leave?" We must swear by all the oaths that you will always be with the child so that he will be calm.
An important aspect for every single man: "To marry or not?". It's up to them to decide. But between their chosen one and the man must establish a sincere relationship. Otherwise, the child will remain out of work. If a man does not get along very well with life, it is better to hire a housekeeper or a nanny to a child, but to approach it with all responsibility. After all, it will be a person who will spend some time with the child, which means that he should only influence him positively.
If the father brings up his daughter, it happens, he is afraid that he will grow it right. But that's the way it was - children brought up in a family with one parent are different from children raised in a full family. The girl will be more difficult to build her personal life because she subconsciously will look for a man like her father, but such men are a rarity. But she always can hammer a nail or change a light bulb, and this is a big plus. Or will be well versed in cars.
Even if the grandmother or other relative is not helping the upbringing, the girl will still have women in her life who will be an example for her. When she becomes older, it's worth giving her special literature on gender issues, approved by teachers and psychologists.
Oddly enough, a single father in life is a little easier than a single mother. Since the concept of a "single father" has not yet become the norm, neighbors or people on the playground, and lonely retired neighbors who will be happy to sit with the child, will soon come to the rescue, and so it will be possible to correct for some time the problems of raising children on their own.
If a man is entitled to benefits from the state, one should not refuse them. Additional payments or leave can save time, which it was required to devote to their earning.
We must try to learn how to combine our lives with the life of the child. It is not necessary to devote all his free time to him, it is better to try to take him with him to some events. Because life is one, you must live it for children and for yourself. Now you are aware of the problems of raising children by single fathers and can help your friend, who could get into a similar situation.