To like a man, to charm him and even fall in love with himself is not so difficult as it seems at first glance. It is quite another matter to keep a loved one, to become for him the only one next to which he wants to spend his whole life. And the main difficulty on the way to a joint "long and happy" is the fear of serious relations among many modern men. But there are other pitfalls that can easily break your boat in the ocean of Love. About how to keep a man and live with him a long and happy life together, and will go further.
And whether there was a prince: how to understand whether it is worth keeping a man
First of all, let's define with you whom to keep close to you need, and who better to immediately let go, without wasting precious time and energy. To do this, use our three simple rules.
Rule number 1: Do not rush!
It's no secret that a woman in love tends to idealize her lover. Under the pressure of male charm and a cocktail of raging hormones, we all lose our heads and at close range we do not notice its shortcomings. But he was not ideal and very soon, something that seemed inconspicuous and even cute would literally terribly annoy. So try not to make plans for the future with a man before six months of your relationship with him. If you believe the research, it is just how much time our endocrine system needs to get used to the hormonal explosion caused by an overabundance of love feelings.
Rule number 2: Be honest with yourself
So, after about 6 months your relationship will be a bit stronger, you will recognize each other well enough, and hormones will subside - it's time to think about the future. This is the ideal time to ask yourself a simple question: "Do I want to be with this man all my life?". If in reply to him in the stomach butterflies flutter, and in the head there will be images of your joint children, then go on to the next point. If you do not experience anything like this, then review your relationship, it is possible that they have long since outlived themselves. Just be honest with yourself. Your happiness depends on it!
Rule number 3: Make sure the reciprocity
The third rule is the most important condition for a happy life together. Therefore, you need to make sure that your and his views on the relationship completely coincide. In other words, you should be sure that you are together only for mutual pure love, and not because you have long sought his attention and he is just comfortable with you. How to understand that the feelings are mutual? Just trust your intuition and analyze your relationship a little. It is advisable to do this by being alone with your thoughts. You can also additionally resort to a simple exercise: divide a sheet of paper into two columns and write out in them all that each of you brings to your relationship. Ideally, both columns should be approximately the same in size. A significant advantage goes to one of the parties - this is an occasion to reflect on the harmonization of relations with the beloved.
If you are sure that this man is the love of your whole life, then the matter remains for a small one. It is necessary to make sure that the beloved comes to the same conclusion. It is advisable to do this carefully and unnoticed, and then men are gentle and timid creatures, and they must necessarily be prepared for "long and happy". And you need to prepare so that he until the end of his days was sure that he himself made a fateful decision to make you his wife. And not lost.
Fear has big eyes: how to keep a man in a relationship
Now, when the presence of the prince does not cause any doubt, it's time to talk about how to keep a man next to him, preferably for life. And for this it is necessary first of all to understand why modern men do not rush to part with the status of a bachelor even when next to them there is already a wonderful and, most importantly, beloved woman. No matter how trite it may sound, it's all about fear. The fear of a serious relationship is a strong psychological barrier, it is very difficult to cross a man alone. It can manifest itself in completely different ways. For example, in a fun binge and a constant change of sexual partners. Or it can "hide" in a civil marriage, lasting without printing in the passport for decades. There are also cases when this same fear makes men even break their relationship with their love so as not to move on to a new stage of relations.
The causes of fear of serious relationships in men
One of the main reasons for the occurrence of such a fear is a bad experience. In other words, unhappy love. Therefore, it would be superfluous to ask the young man whether there was something similar in his life and how he survived this mental wound. If the gap has occurred relatively recently, then do not rush with the rapid development of your relationship.
In addition, the fear of serious relationships in men may arise because of a distorted view of family life. For example, if a man already had an unsuccessful marriage or his parents / friends / relatives experienced a painful divorce. In this case, he can literally believe that marriage destroys relationships and will not strive to create it. Your main task will be the destruction of this illusion. It is very important to show the beloved that the marriage relationship depends on the mutual efforts of two people, and can be very happy.
The idea of a brisk bachelor life imposed on advertising and the media completes our triad of the main reasons for the fear of serious relations in men. It's about an artificially created and so attractive lifestyle in the style of a playboy: a lot of girlfriends, lack of commitment, fun and no responsibility. If the reason is this, then your task is to show your loved one another world. A world of mutual love and harmony, in which you can achieve real happiness. How to do it? Help comes simple advice that you will find further.
Small female tricks: 10 simple tips how to keep a man
It's time to move on to practical advice that will help you realize the dream of a happy life together with your lover. But consider that they work only if your love feelings with a man are mutual, and the relationship develops. Immediately stipulate that their implementation will require you to have good will power and sometimes self-sacrifice. So be ready to work on yourself for the good of your love. And remember that to keep a man can not be a child, no blackmail, no money. Only mutual love and respect can make a couple happy for life!
Tip # 1: Be multifaceted!
What is the difference between a beloved woman and a mistress or wife? The fact that she skillfully combines both these roles. And he also knows how to be a close friend for a beloved man, a cheerful girlfriend, a caring mother, a sympathetic sister, a fair critic, a faithful companion ... This list can be continued for a long time, but its main meaning is understandable and so it is necessary to be able to be versatile with your beloved. Do not focus only on one role, for example, the girl with whom he meets. Guys can go on dates with you for years, but none of them will dare to make you an offer for one simple reason - you do not show anything else. Therefore, if you want to keep a man, be ready to cook borscht, and listen to the problems, and pay attention to him. And this is all the more that you "just meet".
Tip # 2: Do not force events
One of the most common female mistakes is the rush in the relationship. It is on the one hand and it is understandable: age is pressing, friends are already married, parents about grandchildren have all ears buzzed ... Yes, and you meet for a long time - definitely it's time for a crown. It's only when you come to this idea that in no case should you put pressure on a man and even more so to blackmail him. In principle, this council works at every new stage of the relationship, and not only when it comes to the wedding. Therefore, never rush! Give your man time to mature for cohabitation / marriage / children. And while he "ripens" no one forbids you to gently and accurately guide him in the right direction by his caress and care.
Tip # 3: Stay interesting and mysterious
For a man, there is nothing more boring than a monotonous life with a woman he knows about everything. Therefore, cultivate a mystery and mystery. This is primarily about a variety of hobbies and hobbies that will help you to always remain interesting for your loved one. Ideal if some of your hobbies will completely match or resonate with the interests of your lover.
Also, try to surprise your man from time to time. Surprises can be very different: from a new hairstyle and an unexpected color of hair to buying a certificate for a joint jump with a parachute. A little clue: for a surprise to succeed, be sure to make sure that your beloved will be happy. You can do it neatly through indirect questions to him or his close friends.
Tip # 4: Be in shape
Start with an elementary - everyday appearance. Once and for all, say a hard "no" to the peeling varnish on the nails, the disheveled hair and the tattered dressing gown in his presence. By the way, it's okay to appear on the eyes of a loved one without make-up. But here is to do the same makeup / manicure / staining / hair removal with him absolutely not worth it. Firstly, these are far from the most attractive procedures. And secondly, such activities very often seriously discourage men. Therefore, it is better to let your little secrets of beauty remain with you, and the beloved will contemplate only the finished result.
Also, watch your body. Ideally, try to support the forms that you once won. But remember, not so terrible a couple of extra pounds, like rough skin and cracked heels. So be sure to take care of yourself! Remember that a well-groomed woman is already beautiful.
Tip # 5: Joint Traditions
Nothing brings together a couple as small family traditions and rituals. Let it be a simple Sunday tea party in a cozy cafe or a Saturday evening watching your favorite TV shows. The main thing is that it becomes really traditional, and therefore, a regular pastime for both of you. Gradually add to your relationship new joint rituals, which bring pleasure equally to each of you. And very soon they will become traditions that will bind you even more.
Tip # 6: Positive attitude
That's not like men troubled ladies, who also strive to cry on their shoulders, or whenever they meet, complain about a bitter destiny-fate. Do not like everything. Take this fact and stay most of the time with your loved one on a positive wave. First, you can cry with my mother and girlfriends, and with a loved one it's better to spend time somehow more interesting. And, secondly, showing an optimistic attitude in a difficult situation, you thereby show the man that he can always rely on your common sense and support in a difficult time. And, thirdly, after stopping complaining in the company of a loved one for various minor troubles, you automatically become stronger in spirit.
Tip # 7: Do not dissolve!
Another factor that repels men is the complete dissolution of a woman. It can be dissolution in the wife, children, life or work. The most terrible thing is that if you dissolve, a woman loses her borders and ceases to be an interesting person. Therefore, no matter how much you like the guy, no matter how much you want to make a loved one the meaning of your life, always remain a complete person. Remember, no man will appreciate such victims. And what is worse, one day it will be easy to consider you a service person, with whom it is convenient, but so boring. Well, the fact that from boring women, men run like fire you already know from our council at number three.
Tip # 8: Home cosiness
Whatever one may say, only caring female hands can create that unique home comfort that men appreciate so much. Therefore, make maximum efforts to ensure that your co-habitation has become a real home for a lover. Follow the cleanliness in the apartment, the neatness of his clothes and be sure to learn how to cook his favorite dishes. Most men of this will be more than enough. And do not think that we urge you to plunge headlong into economic affairs and forget about yourself beloved. Learn how to properly allocate time and then you will be able to do much! Including taking care of yourself and meeting with girlfriends.
Tip # 9: Criticize neatly
Criticism of the lover is dangerous. Especially if you criticize fairly sharply and constantly. Believe me, no man will tolerate a woman next to her, who regularly "cuts" him. Therefore, if you criticize your lover, then try to do it as accurately and constructively as possible. For example, do not just point out his mistakes, but offer a solution that in the future will help to avoid such a negative experience. Remember that a calm and reasonable conversation a man will take much more carefully than to emotional hysteria. In addition, having mastered the ability to correctly criticize, you can take an important place of a proven adviser in the life of a loved one.
Board number 10: Give the man freedom
This is one of the most important tips how to keep a man next to him. What do we mean by "giving freedom"? First of all, the man has the opportunity to make important decisions on his own and the lack of total control by the woman. Learn to trust your lover and do not keep it on a "short leash." He should have the opportunity, for example, to watch football with friends without you and your endless calls. It is also important not to impose their views on life on the loved one and build plans for the future for him. Always remember that your beloved is an adult and a man who is able to make important decisions on his own. And your task is to become for him a loyal and loving person, to whose opinion he will be ready to listen, and not the second mother. Therefore, more often follow this principle in the relationship. And very soon you will personally see its effectiveness!