Complexes in it, but you suffer from them for some reason you? By itself. But do not despair - there is a way out! The main thing is not to adapt to this situation! You and only you can help your man overcome his fears. So, the main question to date: 10 men's complexes and how to deal with women with them. Discuss?
COMPLEX 1. I AM ETER SECOND.
How to find out? He watches you all evening, not concealing his admiration, but he is afraid to take the first step. And no matter how mind-blowingly you look, it's easier for him to get acquainted not with you, but with the one to whom the expression "gray mouse" usually approaches.
What do we have to do? Psychologists explain that as soon as a man sees a beautiful woman in front of him, the thought immediately comes to him: "Such a beauty can not be lonely." Cultivating it in himself, he convinces himself that this woman already has a companion. And even if he manages to get acquainted with her and make any relationship, then in the future will always have to fight for her attention, because around her there will be crowds of "kuchkavatsya" men ... Do not let his fantasies go too far, take the initiative themselves. "He will certainly appreciate your interest in yourself and will be able to understand that you are the person with whom you can communicate so easily", psychologists say.
COMPLEX 2. I'm a BAD LOVER.
How to find out? Once in bed, he starts to apologize for something he has not already done, and every 30 seconds to ask if he does everything right - he either shows excessive care for you, or suffers from a complex of a bad lover. Pointing out problems in terms of self-esteem can also be his desire to compete with someone all the time. Does your companion expect comparisons from you? He wants to know how many of you had lovers before him, who of them could be the best and why? "Do not be surprised if, after your frank story, he declares that many of your lovers (even if you mentioned only two) are too corrupted. That he now can not fully trust you, and therefore, be completely relaxed in your company, "warn sexologists.
What do we have to do? All you need is to pick the right words. Try to tell him that he is the one and only one, that you left your previous ones because they did not even "stand side by side" in him. Try to help him get free, but do not get carried away. After all, to say that everything was wonderful, and to lie is not the same thing at all.
COMPLEX 3. I will cheat.
How to find out? Do you spend a lot of time together, and he never even hugged you? You would so like to just walk with him until the morning, holding hands, but he does not show any initiative? Do you want to cling to his shoulder, but he immediately withdraws? Of course, one could admit some doubt about his sexual orientation, if he did not constantly repeat about his former girlfriends. Or, more precisely, about how all of them ruthlessly threw it. He tries to build himself a cynic, wise with experience, he is ready to talk for hours about the doom of all relationships.
What do we have to do? First, it should be noted that such men are rare, because most of them are hunters by nature. They are doing everything possible to ensure that the complex "for the life of cheated" as often as possible appeared in women. Secondly, with intimophobia - this is the name of this complex - you can and must fight. Here, waiting tactics are needed. You should not be in a hurry to build a relationship, because he seriously fears that as soon as he trusts, you will immediately use it for selfish purposes. If you take the initiative into your own hands, wanting to start a relationship, then to break them, that is, to throw it, it will not be difficult for you. Let him understand that you are waiting for the first step from him. Be as spontaneous and sincere as possible. This is exactly what he does not expect from you. All his usual schemes will collapse - and he will change for the better.
COMPLEX 4. I CAN NOT REALIZE.
How to find out? He always comes home tired, even if in the office all day long he moved from place to place folders with documents. Or ready for the hundredth time to listen to your story about the shoes that you measured in the store opposite, but never utter a word about their personal problems.
What do we have to do? It is extremely important for a man to realize himself at work. But even if he made a mistake in choosing a profession, this does not mean that he is destined to suffer from this complex for the rest of his life. Try to start a conversation about what he liked in childhood. After all, children usually love what they do best. If he liked to make planes, tell him as if by chance about the regional club of aircraft modelers. He went everywhere with the old Zenith and filmed everything? Then you should invite him to the photo exhibition and make a gift - a new camera. And when, finally, he will have at least one hobby, even if not connected with work, but which will bring him joy, his business in the office will surely go well.
COMPLEX 5. "PAPIK".
How to find out? Usually a man is either genuinely proud that in his "arsenal" there is a young mistress, or is afraid that his beauty will soon find a lover younger. Under the second option, he would like to see as few people devoted to your relationship as possible. Especially when it comes to a joint appearance with you - suddenly everyone will think that you are his granddaughter?
What do we have to do? It is not necessary to drag it to the place where it is possible to expose him as a grandfather. Try to remind him more often that none of the peers can give you what he gives. After all, you really are more interesting with him? Here on this and should make an accent.
COMPLEX 6. I AM INSUFFICIENT.
How to find out? You do not have to understand whether he really has this complex - he is absolutely everything, and you, including. You just need to decide how badly your partner is complexed and what exactly does not allow him to live peacefully. The only thing that is a hundred percent sign of the inferiority complex is jealousy.
What do we have to do? If his case is not chronic yet, the most important thing is not to focus on what caused his insecurity. For example, it can be a small growth, beer belly, bald head, etc. Talk more about its merits. After all, if you have a complex about the harmony of your legs, then no matter how much you say that they are beautiful, they will not become slimmer for you. Therefore, if he is short, praise his mind and sense of humor; if he is bald - the ability to play excellent shihmata, etc. In especially neglected cases, a man who is not fully integrated tries to compensate for his shortcomings by humiliating those around him. If suddenly you began to feel that he is trying to recoup you, you should think: are the relations with him spent by you worth the effort. If so, then for help in solving this problem it is worthwhile to turn to professionals for help.
COMPLEX 7. I AM EXCELLENT.
How to find out? It would seem that if he is in everything and always wants to be the best, is that bad? Of course, this is good, but in everything you need to know the measure. It should pay attention to what exactly the price gives him permanent permanent leadership. If, for example, he promised to do something to you, but for various reasons he could not, then it would literally eat him from the inside until he finally can fulfill the promise. Even if you know well that you could easily do without it.
What do we have to do? It is very important to let a man understand that you love him. Love the way it is. And that one small asterisk from the sky will be enough for you. So if, for example, this summer he does not manage to go with you on vacation to the Hawaiian Islands, try to offer: "Darling, what if we spend this vacation at your dacha?" He, of course, will be surprised, but mentally tell you "Thank you". And all his further actions will be dictated only by a feeling of gratitude for the fact that you love him. Love not only and not so much for the constant expensive gifts.
COMPLEX 8. I HAVE LITTLE MONEY.
How to find out? He, with his head down, runs past expensive restaurants, avoids talking on monetary issues, calls out all more or less well-off people with bandits and says that a suit for a thousand dollars will be bought only by a madman. Another option is possible - the opposite: with him, a man does just that, which says how wonderful it would be to live on Rublevka, ride a limousine, and wear clothes at least from Ralph Lauren.
What do we have to do? In both of these cases, your man has a problem with setting priorities. Your main task is to talk as much as possible about the benefits not of material, but spiritual. You, most likely, will have to bring not one or two examples to try and make him reevaluate his values. Try to go with him to a simple cafe, where it's quiet and cozy and you can safely talk heart to heart. You can go to the exhibition, which shows some fashionable artist who does not charge entrance fee. Or to a concert of an interesting but not yet well-promoted group that performs in clubs for free. You will see, he will stop straining about money, as soon as he realizes that everything is expensive, is not necessarily good. That you love him, and your love does not depend on the amount of money earned or gifts. And that you really are more important than his attention.
COMPLEX 9. I DO NOT COMPLY WITH IT.
How to find out? Such an example: you come from Moscow - he is a provincial, you earn excellent money - he saves every penny, you graduated from Moscow State University with a red diploma - he was expelled from engineering in the first year. It is possible that your man has a normal self-esteem. Yes, yes, and all its obvious shortcomings with this - nothing compared to the merits. Everything in the world tends to balance. And when you have enough of what is lacking to him, you have something to teach each other to enjoy the balance in the relationship. And the fact that you are from different "sandboxes" - has not the slightest significance. Things are more complicated if your man tirelessly with foam at the mouth proves that it is easy for native Muscovites to live simply, that everything is easy for Papa's sons, that you can buy a diploma of any university, and you will not earn big money by honest ways. But even with all this you can cope.
What do we have to do? It's a mistake to tell him directly that his mood and behavior betrays his inner problems, even when it is. If you belong to different strata of society - try simply not to pay attention to the little things that separate you. You need to find common interests, get carried away by some one thing, more often say "we". And then you two will be one. And he will cease to think, finally, that you are not a friend to each other.
COMPLEX 10. I HAVE A CRISIS OF AVERAGE AGE.
How to find out? In life, absolutely every man undergoes two age-related crises: the first - at the age of thirty, the second - when he is about forty-forty-five. The first is the time of the initial summing-up, when a man evaluates what he has achieved and what remains to be done. The second is caused by the desire to work on past mistakes: change jobs, and often people around him.
What do we have to do? With the first option on your horizon looming, either the disruption of all relationships, or the offer to marry. Thirst for the second - try to draw in his imagination the rainbow pictures of your family life. The crisis of forty years a man survive more difficult. Here the most reasonable thing is to have patience and try to be to him first and foremost a good friend.
The final diagnosis.
- 75% of girls suffer from the complexes of their men.
- 50% are trying to fight against male complexes.
- 13% believe that their young people have a complex of bad lover.
- 28% believe that a man is going through, believing that he does not fit her.
- 50% are sure that there are no men without complexes and, in principle, can not be. And to go against the masculine nature is a waste of time and energy.
- 27% tried to deal with the complexes of men, but, unfortunately, the result was not achieved.
- 23% of the girls say that they still managed to convince their men that their complexes are not justified.