True love: the mysteries of love before marriage and in marriage

Scientists and philosophers, mystics and esotericists are trying to explain the mystery of love. We will introduce you to the most popular theories. Choose which of them looks the most reliable for you. True love - the secrets of love before marriage and in marriage - is our topic of the article.

Theory

It is based on the study of biochemical processes occurring in the body in the process of love.

Whom and for what we choose

We love the one from whom healthy and intelligent children can be born. And when we meet, we evaluate a man according to his external data - is he strong enough to effectively have sex: what width does he have shoulders and a strong priest. And at the reflex level we decipher the smell of his body in order to recognize how his affairs are with immunity and the level of sex hormones, how close you are genetically. The further the candidate is removed from you by the code of his DNA, the less is the risk of having a child with a hereditary disease from him. If the smell of a man is unpleasant to you, there can be no love - this applicant is not suitable for conception and the birth of children. And the intellect and spirituality of the partner are evaluated in the last place - according to the residual principle.

Love

At the sight of an attractive man, your body declares: "I need it, I can give birth to it!" You are experiencing a sexual attraction and are worried: "And how to get it?" The stress hormone norepinephrine enters the bloodstream. Feelings are exacerbated, heart beats, eyes rub. At night, it can not sleep, during the day, anxiety is consumed, some people even lose their appetite and give weight. But you have come together and have sex. Stress decreases, norepinephrine falls. But the synthesis of neurohormones of ecstasy, joy and pleasure - dopamine and serotonin increases. Dopamine is the goal hormone, concentrating on one idea, a catalyst of passion and an excellent source of energy. Those who are dominated by its emission, do not notice anything around except their beloved, and for the sake of it they can turn mountains. The mood fluctuates from "it seems, loves, now I will uplift," until "it seems, does not like - and not hang myself" ... In the majority, love begins on dopamine and goes on to the predominance of serotonin. He is responsible for the stably joyful mood: you are good, and your beloved is simply a miracle, and the world is beautiful. And do not write a poem? Is it possible to compile a quarterly report in two hours? The stage of ejection of dopamine and serotonin - this is the most awesome state of ecstatic and romantic love, to survive which we dream. True, similar biochemical shifts - with disturbances in sleep and perception of reality - come from those who play roulette, fumed grass or fell into a schizophrenic psychosis ... Come on! Hormone-romance is very strong throughout the year, so that lovers often have sex and conceived a child. Then their level decreases - everything, love is over. Some couples looked at each other with a clear gaze - and then ran away in horror.

Romantic love

The remaining pairs of "hormones of love" are injected another two to three years. A woman manages to feed a baby with a breast, and a man - to take care of her. Further, a woman is able to survive without a partner. Now the romantic stage is over. Therefore, the peak of divorces falls on the fifth year of marriage.

Love-affection

Are you still together? Hence, your body intends to raise a child with this partner. It produces more and more oxytocin - a hormone of tenderness and kindness, and vasopressin - a hormone protecting property and jealousy: "My - do not touch!" Romantic love gave way to a feeling of even and mild. After 10 years, hormonal sources become scarce, because the child has grown. And the love has run low, since its meaning is the procreation with this man. True, there are couples who even on the 15th year of marriage the level of hormones corresponds to the first stages of the relationship. It was discovered by Italian scientists. And now puzzled wonder how this can be.

What's in the balance

Maybe you've never experienced romantic love because you are naturally low in the resources of dopamine and serotonin? Physical attraction is. On strong love, with oxytocin and vazoiresin, you are capable. And the "head demolished" phase - no. Also will not be. Not so arranged. And there's nothing to wait for.

Cause and investigation

It is based on the relationship between cause and effect. The soul is immortal, has no sex, and does not remember anything of the old life. If you have done something bad, in return you will get troubles and suffering - not in this life, so in the next. Has acted well - the blessing waits for you, not now - so then, but it is obligatory. And there is love of two kinds.

She is not a superprize in a love lottery, but your unresolved serious problem from earlier incarnations. And it is given for working off bad karma - correcting past mistakes. It is more correct to call it "aggravated karma".

Whom and for what we choose

Love confronts former spouses or close relatives who have deeply offended each other in a past life. Once they became entangled and stalled. And now we had the opportunity to fix everything. It's impossible to avoid it - it's rock.

How it looks like

It arises from the first glance: you saw it - a shock, a head in a colored fog. And a cry from the depths of the soul: "This is it!" Love is always ardent and passionate, such a flame of feelings fuses the couple together for the time needed to solve a common problem. Sometimes - for several years, and someone and a lifetime is not enough. And they live badly, but they can not part. Often - childless, because children can distract their parents from karmic tasks. Suppose a woman got married, gave birth and was seriously ill. The husband did not provide his wife and children, but cowardly fled to another - strong and healthy. His wife cursed, but did not let go with God, as a weak and helpless person. They aggravated karma: he - irresponsibility, she - unforgiveness. To unleash this karmic knot, the spouses must correct the error. In the current incarnation, they meet in a disco - fiery love at first sight and immediate marriage. Five years later it turns out that her husband is seriously ill. Then the events can develop and end in different ways.

Happy end

Her husband plows three jobs and provides a family, from a difficult life, his wife changes. His wife forgives and still grateful to him. Hooray! The knot is untied. And then the feelings elegantly come to naught - this is a typical property of fulfilled karmic love. The wife is getting better. The husband meets a new love. The couple are divorced. After some time, the ex-wife also marries. He and she feel that they have changed for the better, the soul has brightened, life has improved.

Bad end

The husband drinks from grief or chases to distract, behind each skirt, the wife suffers, swears and sobs. They can not live together and can not disperse. In the end, the sick spouse dies, and the husband bangs his head against the lid of the coffin and feels guilty. And in the next incarnation they will meet again and will be doomed to "karmic" love - until they have enough mind to behave with dignity in trials.

Love is "true"

It is meant for those who have everything in order with karma, and is not always connected with our actions in previous incarnations.

Whom and for what we choose

True love arises in two situations. The first: the souls that are connected in previous incarnations with good deeds-friends, one of whom embodied in the male body, or brother and sister, or aunt and nephew, meet and recognize each other. In fact, it is a reward for good behavior and noble deeds in a past life. Second: love is born between people who are not connected in past incarnations, but are able to move together to a new circle of development - to get into another society or discover new talent in oneself. Usually the love for the "new" soul is based on calculation and comes from the mind to the feeling. He and she work late every night on one project and decide to get married, so that there is a word with whom to speak, and it's too lonely life and concentrated at work.

How it looks like

Love develops gently and gradually. Her eyes do not cover and her head is not spinning. At first it seems modest, without fireworks, but like a good dinner: the further - the tastier and more pleasant. Can last for decades.

What's in the balance

"Karmic" love is not a punishment, but a task that requires a solution. When it has come to an end with the solution of the problem, it's time to seek true love. "True" love is a good thing. And to find it is not difficult. The choice of loved ones is great: around there are many men, whose souls in our previous incarnations have developed good relations. Or those who are suitable for us in the present, in order to develop and mature together.

Purpose

In different variants and plots, she wanders through the works of novel writers, modern mystics write about her with trembling.

We love the one with whom we can realize ourselves, for the fact that he accepts you and helps you become like you are conceived by God or the Cosmos - not necessarily a kind angel, maybe even a genius of villainy. Your only man is connected with you in the energy-information space by the plan of Heaven. Your destiny pushes you to a meeting, and sooner or later you will come across it. Theoretically, you can not leave the apartment: in the house the wiring will light up - and the courageous fireman will come rushing to save you, or the pipe will burst - and the seductive plumber will repair it. That's just not quite clear what to do if your heaven of this lover carries an accident or a disease. Toli will then have to be without him, or he will be replaced by another candidate from the "second row" - for every woman is laid on a fatal man.

It is impossible not to guess that this is "your man": you with him from the first meeting are surprisingly good and free, as if you have known each other for a long time. You have a wonderful sex. Joint life is not a hard work to create a family, but the process is natural, like breathing, which does not require miracles of patience and compromise. You argue, but never torment and torment each other. In love, you experience great happiness. But all the rest of life can go awry: Bon neither met Clyde, and they went to rob banks, top manager Masha fell in love with the forester Yura and left in the wilderness, where there is neither culture nor comfort. But we do not always want to rob banks or live in the forest, even for the sake of great love. Therefore, we renounce the intended lover and prefer all kinds of happiness to the happiness of love - the good of children, security, fulfilled duty, well-being.

And what if a married woman comes to you only after the half-century anniversary? It would be wiser not to wait, but still enjoy - even if not predestined love, but sex, good and warm relations with other men. A meeting will meet - you are waiting for a great novel. From the predestined love, you should not refuse without having tasted it. So rarely we really really want something - really, with our head, spinal cord, heart and flesh ... And then - as you decide, it will be so. If you miss it and you do not try it, you'll get exhausted and tortured.

Whom and for what we choose

A woman falls in love with someone who looks like a dad. If there is no father - in the course is the image of the man who took care of her - brother, uncle, grandfather. In it everything that should be in a man is embodied for her. All the rest, even much better, she often does not accept men. And sometimes he does not even notice. The boy falls in love with a woman who looks like her mother. It comes to ridiculous. My 30-year-old friend complains that she has been increasingly behaving like her mother-in-law recently. And it is very scary of her - her mother-in-law, she can not stand. But she has nothing to fear: she really resembles her mother-in-law and her face and character, for which her husband fell in love. And they do not get along with their mother in law because they are very similar and jealous of each other's husband and son.

How it looks like

The style of our novel depends on how the relationship with the parent of the opposite sex. The first option was caring and always loved the daughter - the girl feels to the elect a feeling equal and harmonious, with sexual craving and emotional attachment.

Option Three

Daddy did not like his daughter very much, or did not at all - he disappeared after the divorce and even did not send any greetings. The girl will be inclined to fall madly at first sight and even sound: she heard a velvety voice or saw a handsome man's hand with long fingers-like a dad-and disappeared! This passion is more sexual than emotional. And this crazy sexual love is completely justified, since it allows a woman to jump over the barrier of misunderstanding of men and fear of them. While crazy passion will pass - look, and understand his character. And he will become attached to him. It does not always happen that way, but often enough.

Option Four

If the girl's dad was not, she craves affection and chooses an elderly husband-father. Sex is small, but a lot of sincere emotion.

What's in the balance

According to this theory, love is always affection and mutual dependence. When you lose the ground under your feet - the beloved will pull you out. If you feel bad, you will feel and rush, you are "on-line" with him. Your state of health and mood depends on the beloved: it hurts - and you too, he is sad - and you are sad. And if someone denies the attachment - now it's fashionable - and says that in love you need to be "independent and free", from such a freedom-loving male, you should run very quickly. Because he wants to use you for the full program - both sexually, emotionally, and financially, but he will not provide anything in return - neither regular sex, nor empathy, nor friendly shoulder. In the soul of every woman there is an idea of ​​what kind of a man she would like to be outwardly and in character. This image is called "animus". In the soul of every man there is a similar image of a woman he would like to be, called "anime".

Whom and for what we choose

A woman loves someone who has the features of her animus, in order to acquire for herself the part of the male world that she needs. A man is the one that looks like his anime, because he needs an interesting female world. And in this case, their love is strong and long - we understand well who is part of our personality. This love can bring together the most unexpected, at first glance, pair. For example, almost a holy pediatrician, saving the lives of newborn babies, and a Moscow photojournalist of a scandalous society chronicle who photographs celebrities chewing or drunk in the smoke, and he gets paid: magazines - for pictures, stars - for refusing to publish. She loves him, because he steps over any prohibitions and does not care about public morality. And he said it - for the purity and disinterested help of the children. In it, too, there is impudence and shamelessness, a desire to spit on morality, but she does not show these feelings. They are in her masculine, silent half. And he would be a modest and unselfish woman and would adore children. They love each other not because opposites attract, but because they have much in common. When I first read about this theory and decided to introduce myself as a man, I turned out to be a portrait of my husband, with only one difference. And I immediately experienced great respect for the author.

How it looks from the side

The actions of this man seem to us logical and understandable - we in his place behaved the same way. A woman forgives a man a lot - as she would forgive herself. And he understands it very well. She is able to let him go on a long journey and wait for his return for years. She often lives with her lover's life, forgetting about her - like many wives of servicemen who are not thinking about a personal career, but only - about the promotion of her husband. Also, at times incomprehensible and generous, a man behaves - accepts a woman after repeated treason. Sometimes he puts in his career and the success of his beloved all the color and ardor of the soul. This love can last a lifetime. And she does not light up right away - she needs a moment of truth, some kind of external impetus, so that people can open up, turn around unexpectedly and see each other. This love is born in travels, at a rock festival, in the evening, in a confidential conversation, in a long-deserted office.

What's in the balance

What an amazing detail: if a woman has never wanted to become, even for an hour a man and she is not able to imagine herself in a man's image and enjoy such a game, it will be very difficult, almost impossible for her to love someone. The same applies to men. Probably, in such a soul there is no room for a second person. And there is no desire to admire, understand and accept another ... There is no need for it?